Name: Bill Burr-Super Bowl XLIV
Uploaded: 2010-02-02T03:25:40.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr-Super Bowl XLIV' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2010-02-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr-Super Bowl XLIV' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2010-02-02. Transcript available.

I guess throughout the broadcast.
I'm just going to shut the fuck up.
You guys have a great week.
Oh, wait a minute.
I didn't even talk about the Super Bowl.
Who do you like?
Who do you like?
I'm hoping the, I find both of them equally annoying.
I actually, I find the respect Peyton Manning gets is really, it's ridiculous.
And it's making me feel like I could be, it's like, you know,
you know when you watch somebody do something on TV and you just think,
you know, I could do that shit.
I could do that.
All these, all these fucking guys who talk about like Peyton Manning,
they're already saying, like I was reading this article,
legitimate article in like Sports Illustrated or something,
and they were talking about Peyton Manning and they would,
and this is what they wrote.
They said, you might be watching the greatest quarterback of all time.
And people of Indianapolis, fans of Peyton Manning,
can you please explain to me what has he done that has earned,
he, at this point, he only has one ring.
Okay?
The track that he's on right now, he's having a Brett Favre career where it,
he is a regular season statistical fucking juggernaut.
He plays a 2-14 team, he's going to light them up for 500 yards.
He plays a good team, he's going to throw for 300 yards.
He's the shit in the regular season.
But he's only had one successful playoff run.
He has half as many rings as Ben Roethlisberger.
He's got a third as Tom Brady.
Fucking Terry Bradshaw has four rings.
Joe Montana has four rings.
John Elway has two rings.
He's one of these fucking guys that people, they just love him.
He, like Brett Favre, people love fucking Brett Favre.
And despite the fact that 99% of his playoff losses ended with him throwing a
stupid interception,
people just can't get enough of the guy.
You know, he's got the scruff, he's got that perfect quarterback head,
he wears Wrangler jeans, he's just a country boy.
They just fucking love him.
And then meanwhile, these other guys, look, say what you want about Terry Bradshaw,
that guy definitely fucked up in the regular season.
But when it came down to it, that guy was four for four in Super Bowls.
He won four Super Bowls before any team had won their third.
He had twice as many rings.
And that guy only threw for 25,000 yards or something ridiculous for his whole
career.
His stats, if you look at his stats, you take away his rings,
you're like, this guy, he was average.
He was a bum.
I think it all comes down to how you define what is great.
And I say what makes you great is those fucking Michael Jordan moments.
Right?
And I know I'm acting like this is my original theory.
It isn't.
The fucking...
You're not one of the greatest quarterbacks ever if you lose to the 8-8 Chargers
at home.
If you lose two years in a row, you lose to the Chargers at fucking home.
You're not.
You're not.
You're not the greatest quarterback of all time if you bitch about how much the
Patriots fucked up your receivers
and then the owner of your team who's on the rules committee, as one of my
listeners told me.
I haven't even checked to see if that's true, but they told me, so it's true in
my world.
And they changed the fucking rules to give you an advantage.
And then you go out and you break Dan Marino's touchdown record.
That's like 20 years old.
And a year later, Brady breaks it.
You know, it's bullshit.
It's fucking bullshit.
Peyton Manning is one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time, but he is not
even close to being the greatest you're ever going to see.
All right?
I'm old school.
I count champions.
Fuck these rookies who come into the league and they get a sneaker before they
even hit a fucking layup.
I'm sick of it.
All right?
He's got as many rings as his stupid brother.
And I bet by the time I do my next fucking podcast, there's a chance he's going
to have two rings.
And you know what?
Then he's in the two-ring club.
That's it.
He's right up there with Jim Plunkett.
You know, they're the ones who fucking defined it by laying down to the goddamn
Jets.
The only thing that counts is Super Bowl rings.
You know what I feel like right now?
I feel like that.
Who's that fucking coach?
You want to crown him?
Then crown his ass.
Peyton Manning is exactly who I thought he was.
Fuck that guy.
Go Saints.
You know something?
It's very easy for me to root for the Saints as long as they don't show their
fucking stupid fans.
Their fans are so goddamn annoying.
My whole life, that stadium has been one-third full.
And now all these Saints fans coming out of the woodwork.
Who dat?
Who dat?
Who dat think they're going to beat them Saints?
Who dat?
Cheering on the Saints.
Where the fuck have you been my whole life?
I ask you guys.
You ever been in a sports bar?
Have you ever seen anybody wear a Saints jersey?
Ever?
You haven't.
They're fucking bandwagon.
Bandwagon.
You know, those guys who actually showed up when they had the bags over their
heads, those
guys that you saw every week on Inside the NFL back when Nick Bonacani and Len
Dawson
did it, those are the true fucking fans.
These are all these fucking phonies now showing up with your Reggie Bush jersey
and your fucking
Bourbon Street beads.
You can all go fuck yourselves.
All right, that's it.
That's from someone whose team got knocked out of the playoffs in a raping.
Whatever.
Congratulations to fans of both teams.
I just hope it's a good game.
And that's it.
I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do.
I'm going to go walk down this fucking Wild West, Ybor City, and I'll talk to
you guys
next week.