Name: Bill Burr-Advice and Overrated Underrated
Uploaded: 2010-02-09T23:14:36.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr-Advice and Overrated Underrated' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2010-02-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr-Advice and Overrated Underrated' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2010-02-09. Transcript available.

underrated um all right here's some advice somebody's asking me about abroad
over there
dear bill uh since you have no idea who i am i don't mind writing to you and
explaining my
current problem i'm experiencing with a certain female and since you don't know
me you'll probably
be more than honest you'll be more honest than the girls i tell this story to
okay here's the
deal i'm currently chasing this girl that i've known for a year who for some
reason goes through
phases where one day i'm the greatest thing ever and then for the whole next i
could die from
cancer and she wouldn't blink an eye she also has a tendency to make me jealous
on purpose for no
reason at all i've confronted her on the issue and her explanation was that she
hates when i get
jealous all right right there dude she is standing on top of an old victorian
house waving the beware
i'm a cunt flag all right dude you got to get away from this girl this is that
you know what this
girl's deal is she wants to be in a relationship she doesn't want to be in one
with you but she
doesn't want to be alone all right and in the back of her head she knows she's
wasting her time by
hanging out with you rather than going out trying to find mr right so what she's
doing is is rather
than dealing with that herself is she's taking it out on you you know and
another thing she's doing
is really sadistic is she knows that you like her and she's playing you you
know just playing with
you playing with your fucking mind and just trying to see the shit that she can
get you to do
fuck her all right this you know what you want to fuck that girl this is the
girl you got to walk
away from her walk away from her go hang out with your buddies if you don't
have any buddies go get
some buddies go hang out in a bar and do what i always say to do all right
because you're wounded
right now and you're going to be in the bar and you're going to be feeling that
well these girls
don't make me feel the way this other girl does fuck that you got to beat that
feeling down and you
beat it down with alcohol and hitting on girls you don't give a shit about get
in the fucking game
it's going to build up your self-esteem now i'm not saying be mean to these
other girls don't take out
your heartbreak that this other fucking chick gave you don't take that out on
these other girls
because then you become a cunt too go out there and fucking find out how your
personality works
you know it's going to build up your self-esteem next time she sees you you got
a fucking broad on
each arm she's going to get competitive next thing you know your dick is in her
fucking mouth
okay and you finish in there son all right
sorry man i stood up i stood up i started feeling like a fucking coach
i went a little big there don't finish unless she says it's okay all right but
if you bang her
definitely wear a condom you have fucking respect for yourself you have respect
for your body
all right now go out there and talk some shit son if you had shoulder pads i'd
be fucking banging on
right now and send you out right through the fucking tunnel into some meat
market
okay overrated underrated for this week uh overrated this guy says children
right off the bat i love this guy he said i'm sick and tired of people doing
shit for the children
we gotta do it for the children i understand that you need to look after
infants and toddlers but i
remember being 9 10 and 11 and at that age i really didn't give a fuck i was
too busy trying to hump
some girl behind a garage all the while trying not to get caught by the people
who were supposedly looking after me my parents half of the little twats just
want to fucking eat
cookies and ice cream and play xbox 360 all day so i say fuck the kids help the
adults that are
struggling with bills and shit i love that what a fucking great guy i love it
because he's speaking
from his heart and right in the end it petered out with his ignorance fuck the
kids and help the
adults who are struggling with bills and shit i love and shit it really just
knocks it down by
fucking 90 iq points right down to my level all right i'll go with that one
exactly why don't we
help out the fucking people without jobs and then this is other this is other
one underrated uh he
says whores and he spelt it h-o-a-r-s i think that's hilarious because isn't boars
spelt with a b which
is a pig you know which is another fucking derogatory term for a woman so he's
kind of combined whores and
boars whores h-o-a-r-s he said there's nothing like a good whore h-o-a-r she
will make you appreciate a good
woman i can't tell you how many times i've looked at a stripper or some cunty
little whore and thought to
myself thank god she goes she goes home to some other dumb fuck wives and
girlfriends hate them
but until you spend the night at a club full of skanks and whores you can't
really appreciate a good
woman see i like that because it's actually positive for women that's right
that's absolutely right i
totally agree with you on that one and that's the podcast for this week