Name: Bill Burr - Ines Sainz and The New York Jets
Uploaded: 2010-09-14T14:01:16.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Ines Sainz and The New York Jets' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2010-09-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Ines Sainz and The New York Jets' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2010-09-14. Transcript available.

It's just fucking ridiculous.
So the Jets have started their season at 0-0 with the whole league as amped up
to kick the shit out of them
as people were amped up to beat the fucking Patriots by mid-November.
All right?
And I'm telling you right now, they are going to have a mediocre fucking season,
and I think it's going to start off with the loss tonight.
I'm not saying that they're not going to go 9-7, but these guys, I don't know
what their fucking problem is.
And not to mention that now they have a nice little scandal here.
Cover the Daily News.
They says, Cool Your Jets, TV reporter, flags team for lewd behavior.
Inez Saints, reporter for Azteca TV.
Where the fuck is that broadcast?
It is at the center of a jet brouhaha.
Basically, if you see this girl, she's fucking hottie, right?
She's got her little pass here.
And, you know, she's got some cleavage show.
Oh, my God.
Are you serious?
They got a picture of her at a Jets practice.
She's got on the tightest fucking jeans I've ever seen in my life
with the most perfect round ass you've ever seen.
And she's in high heels, okay?
And she's walking around a bunch of football players who got their testosterone
going with a fat shit-talking coach.
Let me guess.
Somebody said something out of line.
Oh, this is just, this is, you know what I mean?
This right here.
And this is one of these things where you can't say, well, look how you're
dressed.
Because they go, you're blaming the victim.
She should have a right to have three-quarters of her tits outside of her shirt
with a thong going up her fucking ass crack.
And she should be allowed to walk into a locker room with a bunch of football
players and not have one out of fucking whatever the fuck you're going to say.
Well, one fucking rude comment.
Give me a break.
NFL boss Roger Goodell was demanding answers last night from Jets players.
Well, why don't you look at the pictures, Roger?
Huh?
What are you, a fucking eunuch?
You don't understand what the problem was?
For players, coaches accused of subjecting a female sports reporter to sexist
locker room conduct.
They should have just said for subjecting her to locker room conduct.
This is basically what happened.
She went into a locker room and was subjected to locker room conduct.
Can you believe it?
I remember last night when I went out to a bar and I was subjected to bar room
conduct.
I couldn't believe it.
I was like, what am I, in a bar or something?
As they prepare for their season opener tonight, Gang Green is dealing with a
burgeoning scandal over the treatment of Inez Saints for Azteca of Mexico.
This girl is a 10.
She's fucking smoking, gorgeous, I mean, you gotta see the way she's dressed.
Okay?
And fuck you, ladies.
Fuck you.
Look at the way she's dressed.
She's one of those, you know what's funny about the broads out there?
This is the kind of girl, all right, the kind of woman, the kind of fucking hoo-er,
who if, you know, if any of these women, you know, who are listening to this
podcast, they're walking down the street with their husband.
And this girl comes walking by, they immediately, they fucking, you know, when
their eyes become like little slits as they look at them, you know?
And then they're looking at their husband and they're going to get mad at you
because this other bitch goes to the gym, you know?
Like somehow it's your fucking fault and they're fucking looking at you because
they can't just come out and say, oh my God, that girl is fucking gorgeous.
I'm so jealous of her.
They can't own that emotion.
So then they look at you and they're just waiting for you to glance in that
woman's direction so they can blame you that this fucking other girl is eating
right and fucking doing herself up, right?
It's going to become your fucking fault.
I used to do a bit about that.
Next time you, you know what, here's one for you.
I'm going to burn a joke right here that I never fucking recorded, so who gives
a shit?
Next time you're walking down the street with your girlfriend, right, and this
fucking unbelievably smoking chick comes walking up the street, right?
And what do you got?
And she immediately just looks at you like, go ahead and look at her so I can
take out my fucking hatred of this better looking girl and make it your fucking
fault, right?
This is what you do.
Rather than trying to look away and having blood come out of your eyes, you try
not to look at this fucking hot piece of ass coming up the street.
What you do is you fucking point right at her.
And whatever she's wearing, you tell your girl that she'd look great in that.
You point right at her and be like, you know what, you'd look great in a dress
like that, right?
And then immediately just, you know, it makes their insecurity go, oh, my God,
really?
Do you think I could get away with wearing something like that?
Totally.
Girls feeling good.
You're staring at the girl's ass.
You're talking about the cut of the dress.
It's bullshit.
You're checking her out without disrespecting your woman.
See?
Right there.
Bill Burr bringing couples together.
All right.
Let's continue on here.
So this woman, 32 years old, 32 years old, still in smoking fucking shape, a
former Miss Universe contestant complained she was bombarded with catcalls and
boorish antics at the Jets, New Jersey training facility.
To the extent she wanted to, in quotes, said, cover my ears.
I'm dying of embarrassment.
This woman, right?
Former Miss Universe contestant who would walk on stage with a fucking string
bikini and high heels with a hoo-ha hanging out, talking about how to save
Greenland or whatever,
is embarrassed because she walked around.
I mean, give me a, you know what I mean?
This is why women stink.
It's like, what are you doing there to begin with?
It's a bunch of guys playing football.
It's like, and then we're cool enough to let you in there, and then everybody
has to fucking adjust their behavior because you're there.
Wait, excuse me.
Excuse me.
There's a lady present.
You know what I mean?
And you wonder why you get called a cunt.
That's why.
Right fucking there.
It's just fucking unbelievable.
I would never walk into a goddamn baby shower and be, oh, excuse me.
Excuse me.
There's a guy present.
Can we put a fucking game on over here?
I wouldn't.
I'd be standing in the corner going, oh, jeez.
When is this shit going to be over?
But I wouldn't at any point try to cock block what anybody was fucking talking
about.
Go ahead and talk about sex in this city.
Talk about your favorite shoes or whatever the fuck it is you do.
I wouldn't be covering my ears dying of embarrassment if you all started
talking about my package.
I'd be flattered.
This is some of the more ignorant shit that I've said on this podcast, but I
think there's a point behind this.
Let's continue with the article.
Goodell, it's just, I'm dying of embarrassment.
Saints tweeted in Spanish.
Goodell immediately ordered an investigation into the troubling, in air quotes,
allegations, which were addressed in a team meeting last night.
This meeting is now called to order.
Last night when that smoking hot chick with the tight clothes came in and
everybody said, goddamn, look at that fucking ass.
Yeah, you're not allowed to do that anymore.
Excuse me, coach.
Yeah, yes, sir.
Yeah, were you talking about that girl who came in and her titties were hanging
out of her shirt?
Yeah, that one.
Yeah, that one.
We disrespected her.
See, this is the deal.
All right.
They come down.
They want the fucking attention.
You know?
What is she doing in the fucking locker room to begin with?
You know?
Was she even in the locker room?
Did I even say that?
I can't remember.
Didn't you see any given Sunday?
You don't remember that movie?
You're going to stand there and there's going to be some black dude with a dick
down to the floor.
I mean, why are you going in?
I wouldn't go in there.
If I went in there, they'd start giving me catcalls like I was that fresh fish
guy in the beginning of Shawshank Redemption.
I mean, I'd be dying of embarrassment, too, but I'd fucking take it and be like,
ah, well, what the fuck did you think was going to happen?
You're a fucking pansy and you come walking into an NFL locker room.
They're all going to give you shit and say you're a pussy.
Right?
I mean, what kind of a fucking world are we living in now when a gorgeous woman
wearing tight, ridiculous clothes is going to walk into a fucking – at a
football practice and she's going to get upset that she got unwanted attention?
Well, why don't you come there and dress like they did in the 1800s with one of
them big hoop skirts so they can't see your fucking thighs?
This chick is fucking ridiculous.
Look, look at the New York Daily News and look at the little inset picture that
they have of her.
I'm sure they did it for a fucking reason.
It's ridiculous.
Look at that fucking ass.
Look at – that's the first thing I think.
Look at that fucking ass.
Jesus Christ.
And then she's holding a mic.
Looks like a dick in her hand.
Was she bobbing her head up and down as she asked the questions?
This is like entrapment.
Anyways, let's fucking continue.
We've had contact with the team multiple times and are moving very aggressively
to establish the facts, the NFL spokesman Greg Agilo said.
Jets owner Woody Johnson woke up from his coma and said – oh, wait.
That guy – no, no.
That guy's actually young.
Called Saints to hear her side of the story and said that the team will take
any appropriate steps necessary to maintain a respectful environment for the
media.
Basically, this girl is now going to become a fucking millionaire off of this
lawsuit because she walked to an NFL practice with her Miss Universe body with
tight fucking clothes on.
And somebody said, God damn, look at that fucking ass right there.
Hey, Mark, what the fuck would you do with that?
I'd fucking bend her over a fucking table.
And then fucking Rex Ryan.
I can't even see her.
My fucking stomach's so big, huh?
Was that a good one, players?
Do you guys like me?
I talk just like you.
I can't wait for them to fucking lose tonight.