Name: Bill Burr - Politics and Progress
Uploaded: 2010-10-26T17:49:52.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Politics and Progress' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2010-10-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Politics and Progress' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2010-10-26. Transcript available.

Somebody sent me a picture the other day.
This guy had a pickup truck, and on the back he had all this shit, anti-Obama.
Obama, is that how you say his name? Obama.
And at one point he had this – this is what fascinates me about people who
are straight-up Democrat or straight-up Republican.
It reminds me of people who are into, like, fucking organized religion, just
like the blinders that they have on.
This is the bumper sticker this guy had.
It said, recession, your neighbor loses his job.
Depression, you lose your job.
Recovery, Obama loses his job.
You know, and it's just like – those fucking people, it's like, how do you
not see that they all kind of do the same thing?
And they're all on their knees blowing the same fucking – I mean, don't you
see – okay, Clinton.
Democrat, liberal, right?
Bleeding-heart liberal.
What does he do?
The bleeding-heart liberal.
He's for the fucking everyday Joe.
He's just going to give it away to the broke people.
What does he do?
He helps deregulate the banks.
All right?
George Bush comes in, right?
He wants to help out fucking major corporations and all that type of shit.
He doesn't give them one war.
He gives them two wars.
Billion dollars a fucking month or whatever the hell it is going into those
fucking cunts' pockets.
Goddamn, the combination of those two fucking moves, the deregulation of banks
trying to fight two fucking wars, two away games, by the way, on the other side
of the fucking planet.
He corrupts this goddamn country.
Obama comes in, right?
Bleeding-heart fucking liberal.
What the fuck does he do?
Gets us out of Iraq and then escalates to shit in Afghanistan.
Has he taken any of these bankers to task?
They stole a trillion dollars.
They can't even say where the fuck it is or who got it.
Is he going after those people?
No.
They're not.
It's the same fucking people.
Which is why I resent people when they tell me when I vote for a Ron Paul or
anybody else, you know, of that ilk.
Who's saying that these bankers and these corporations are completely out of
fucking control.
And we need to do some audit the Federal Reserve or maybe even close, you know,
shut the fucking thing down.
And they're not allowed to debate and they're just considered a crazy person.
And then you go out there and you basically make a decision between the two
fucking guys that they're giving you to vote for.
That you feel like, oh, we made these choices.
You didn't.
You didn't.
It's all the same fucking guy.
How you didn't figure that out in 2004 when your choice was two white guys who
both went to Yale who were both a member of that fucking group, the Skulls or
whatever.
It was the same fucking guy.
And I love how these fucking Democrats somehow get off, get away with being
like, you know, they're all like millionaires.
Like John Kerry was a fucking goddamn millionaire.
Somehow he's going to be the man of the people.
I don't fucking know.
I think at a lower level, I think you can actually affect change in political
office.
But I think once you go past a certain level, I think when even when you get to
like, if you were like a senator of your state, I don't, I just don't feel that,
you know, I don't know.
I think Obama said a bunch of shit that he was going to do, got into office,
saw how shit worked.
And right now he's trying to prevent getting shot in the fucking head like
everybody else who gets that job.
And you just you just do what they want you to do.
That's my that's my fucking two cents.
But these fucking morons who will come along and just sit there and blame.
The current president, if they're of course, if they're not a member of their
party, it's just beyond me.
It's just fucking beyond me.
Like, I don't know.
I don't know.
But I'm but like I said, I feel like I've talked about that enough on this
fucking podcast.
People are still coming at me, not understanding what I'm saying about these
these automated checkout machines at the grocery stores.
Once again, this guy writes me like a five page fucking email talking about
pulleys and levers and inventions from back in time.
Like I'm against fucking progress.
And he's comparing all of this.
Like I'm sitting there going, fuck airplanes.
We should be back riding horses.
What about all the blacksmiths who got put out of business?
I'm not talking about that.
I don't want to ride a horse to a gig in fucking Philly.
I don't want to do that.
I love airplanes.
I don't have a problem with that shit.
I'm not talking about progress.
I'm talking about something.
That that makes me have to work for somebody for free.
That's what I'm saying.
All right.
If they came out with those automated checkout machines and it got rid of
people's fucking jobs and but but I walked up there and it was like this thing
that just just magically could tell me what I fucking owed without me having to
do the actual fucking job.
That the other person was just doing.
I wouldn't have a problem with it.
But those fucking check that just all they did was turn the cash register
around and now I have to do it and bag my own shit.
How the fuck is that progress?
Somebody else was trying to tell me that it's all part of this movement of it
was really a spiritual thing so that we'll have all these robots man and they'll
be doing all these jobs and then life will just be all about you know just
exploring life because you won't have to do a fucking job.
It's just like it's like dude you're completely ignoring sociopaths.
All right.
Which is why like when as much as I lean left I don't go all the way to the
left because that's the big flaw in in in psycho level of of liberal thought.
Is you completely ignore sociopaths.
If everybody was just nice to everybody everything would be nice.
No it wouldn't.
They'd still be Charlie Manson.
They'd still be those guys.
They'd still be that guy who couldn't handle.
Not fucking having more than somebody else that couldn't or the person who can't
feel anything unless he's fucking poking the eyes of a squirrel out.
So I don't know my my my theory has always been that fucking hasn't always been
that way just just through the fucked up shit that I've read and God knows if
it's even right is that sociopaths basically run the fucking world.
You know.
They have the balls.
To just go out and take and they have the the.
I don't know if it's a chemical makeup psychological makeup whatever it is to
feel absolutely no fucking guilt.
They could give a fuck.
About other human beings.
They could give a fuck about nature.
They could give up.
They could give a fuck.
They could give a fuck.
So.
Jesus Christ.
I was I'm so my goddamn soapbox.
I don't know what the fuck I was talking about.
Oh getting back to that shit.
So that is my my I don't have a problem with ATMs.
OK.
ATMs.
I basically became my own fucking teller.
But here's the big difference is I then had access to my money.
Twenty four fucking seven.
You gave me a little something.
I don't have a fucking problem with that.
But I walk into a grocery store and now I'm standing behind a fucking plumber.
Trying to scan a week's worth of goddamn groceries.
It's not quicker.
It's not.
It's it sucks.
Fuck you.
I can't stop sending me fucking emails about pulleys and levers.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Yeah.
It's better the wheel.
He's fucking 30 fucking 40 B.C.
I'm not working for fucking free.
I'm not doing that.
Those goddamn automated things there when you when you go into a parking garage.
Now I got to stand in two fucking lines.
I got to stand behind somebody as they try to stuff their crinkled up dollar
bill in trying to pay for their parking.
And then I got to drive, you know, then I drive down waiting to leave and they
don't get to just fucking leave because they got to make sure they paid.
They all you did was create an extra line and you eliminated the fucking
parking garage guy.
And now I got to sit there and wait for the person to.
Oh, where the fuck did I put the ticket that said I paid?
Twice as goddamn long.
That's what I'm talking about.
Pulley and lever guy.
That's what I'm talking about.
I'm talking about inventions that do not make my life easier.
They just make me work for fucking free.
And the time that I spend in the store is not any shorter.
And a lot of times it's a little bit fucking longer.
That's what I'm talking about, sir.