Name: Bill Burr-Rex Ryan Foot Fetish
Uploaded: 2010-12-28T08:17:17.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr-Rex Ryan Foot Fetish' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2010-12-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr-Rex Ryan Foot Fetish' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2010-12-28. Transcript available.

Oh, wait a minute. Did the Jets lose again this week?
Ah, wasn't that funny?
Why isn't that funny?
It's almost like exactly what I said was going to happen fucking happened.
You know, and I know a lot of you guys, you probably can't remember
because, you know, nobody can remember shit in this country.
Like I used to do a bit about that Geico lizard,
how, you know, everybody loves that fucking thing,
and I just look at that thing like that thing has no credibility whatsoever.
When those commercials started out, he's like, no, I'm a gecko.
All right? Get away from me.
Fuck you and your insurance company.
Then all of a sudden, he like fucking sold out.
Now he sells the insurance and no one calls him on the bullshit.
Well, this is my fucking Geico gecko lizard moment.
Here's Rex Ryan.
I'll play you two clips.
This is Rex Ryan on Hard Knocks back in August.
Let's hear what he has to say about his football team,
which started my hatred of the fucking Jets.
Here we go, everybody. Let's turn up the volume.
Here we go.
If we play at our best, we will beat every team in this fucking league playing
at their best.
So who's it on?
Whose shoulders does it follow?
There you go.
Could you hear that?
Sorry, I just fucked with the volume here.
I had to crank that up.
All right?
That's what he said.
We will beat every team.
If we play at our best, we can beat every fucking team in this fucking league.
You know, the usual bullshit.
Okay?
For those of you who forgot.
All right?
Now, here's him yesterday when they backed into the fucking playoffs like they
did last year.
Here we go.
By the way, I think we're in the playoffs.
God, dog, hey.
It ain't the way I wanted it, but I'll take it.
Oh, gee, the fucking, yeah.
What happened, Rex?
Fucking dope.
I swear to God.
Was I, was.
There's no reason for me to even bring it up.
But I have to bring it up.
Okay?
That's the second major thing that I was right about in football this year.
And as much as you fucking hate to admit it, you know I'm right.
I told you Peyton Manning was fucking overrated.
I told you he was a regular season statistical juggernaut.
He threw a pick six to lose the fucking Super Bowl.
And he has yet to get shit for it.
Yet to get shit for it.
This fucking volume is way too high.
I'm sorry.
Let me bring this down here.
He has yet to get shit for it.
All right?
And I told you I didn't understand what the Jets were talking about.
I didn't understand why they felt like they were this shit.
You know?
Was it last year that they made the playoffs because the Colts sat half their
fucking team?
Wasn't it last year?
Isn't that how they got into the fucking playoffs?
Then this year they come in just talking all this shit?
Now, look.
I'm not saying that they couldn't go on any team in the NFL at this point.
If you get hot in the end of December, you can actually go on a run and win the
fucking Super Bowl like the Giants did.
All right?
That's another fucking hilarious thing.
The Giants losing again this week.
And now they're questioning whether Tom Coughlin is worthy to coach that team.
That team that a mere two fucking years ago or three years ago beat an undefeated
team.
14-point underdogs.
What?
Did the game suddenly pass Tom Coughlin by in two and a half fucking years?
New York.
This is the difference between New York and Boston.
Boston is completely 100% negative.
And they'll give you a little bit of positive.
And the second they see negative, they're like, the curse is back.
They're awful that way.
But New York, they kind of do the ESPN thing where they hype shit through the
roof and say this is going to be the greatest fucking thing ever.
And then when it doesn't happen, then they go the exact opposite way.
And then just somebody is the worst fucking thing that ever happened to the
goddamn sport.
And that's why mediocre guys like Mark Sanchez, who never really did anything
in fucking college football.
What did he do?
He won the fucking Rose Bowl with that team that had won the national
championship.
I know there's a turnover of players, but give me a break.
Matt Leinhart did more than that fucking guy.
And he's not even in football anymore.
I think he's playing in like the fucking CFL, right?
So there you go, people.
But I will tell you this.
I do back Rex Ryan on his foot fetish video.
I don't think there's anything fucking wrong with that.
He's got a foot fetish.
He made a video.
I totally agree with him.
It is a private matter.
And, you know, the guy loves his wife.
That's what I got out of it.
I didn't think he was a weirdo.
I think that was just one of those classic fucking examples of everybody out
there throwing sticks and stones and all this fucking shit when we all have
these skeletons in our closet.
Does anybody else want to turn over their fucking hard drive, their computer
hard drive, and let the FBI go through it and look at all the fucked up shit
that you've looked at on the Internet?
Give me a fucking break.
I'm a freak just like him.
I'm not into feet.
You know, some of the horrific shit that I've looked at on the Internet.
I'm going to fucking judge this guy.
In the end, he just kept going, it's a personal matter.
I'm not going to talk about it.
You're going to ask me 16 ways to Sunday.
It's a personal matter.
And I was like, that's exactly right, Rex.
It's exactly fucking right.
It's your own fucking life.
It's a personal matter.
I'm not talking about it.
Go fuck yourselves.
I don't give a shit that it's on the Internet.
It's none of your goddamn business.
Watch the video if you want.
I don't give a fuck.
Then they go, can you at least talk about your wife?
And he goes, yeah, what can I say?
I've been with her for 23 years.
I love her.
She's awesome.
I was like, you know what?
This guy's a great dude.
And I realized that I was wrong saying that he was going to make an attempt on
his life one day because he has a great woman in his life.
And that's what's holding that man together.
And I told you.
I told you.
One psycho can spot another psycho from across the room.
So God bless Rex Ryan and his fucking foot fetish.
23 years.
He still fucking got the hots for his wife.
He's making freaky videos.
I thought that was the shit.
Gave me hope.
That's what it did.
It gave me hope.
I don't think that guy's a freak at all.
It's like that Tiger Woods shit.
And everybody sat there judging him.
People are full of shit.
You know, just listen to that quiet voice in the back of your head that's
calling you a hypocrite when you're at the dinner party trashing Tiger Woods.
You know, when you think of some of the shit that you've, you know, that you
rubbed one out to your wife's sister.
Huh?
What if that ever got out?
What if there was fucking video of that?
You fucking fucking rubbing one out to your wife's fucking sister.
And we could see the fucking video that's playing in your goddamn head.
Really?
You're going to judge this guy because he's into feet?
I don't judge him for that shit.
I do judge him for being a shit talking jackass who sounds like one of my moron
buddies at a fucking sports bar.
I will trash him for that.