Name: Bill Burr - I'm Yours By Jason Mraz
Uploaded: 2011-03-22T16:04:53.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - I'm Yours By Jason Mraz' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2011-03-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - I'm Yours By Jason Mraz' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2011-03-22. Transcript available.

so then i go into this pizza parlor you know i order a slice of pizza and i go
look at that coke
can i get one of the coke yeah it's that coke for mexico where they have the
real sugar
oh yeah they have real sugar what do we have ah we have the fake sugar here
yeah the mexican coke is better you know one of those nafta moments like how
the fuck
doesn't the united states of america have the best fucking coca-cola that's our
shit
how does mexico have better coca-cola than us i don't i don't get it how did
the fuck how did that
happen is that because old slick willy signed nafta is that what he did is that
is that the part of his
soul that he had to sell so they they'd put him in office these fucking assholes
they're all the
goddamn saying they're all a bunch of sellouts democrat or republican these
fucking idiots walking
around with signs or watching cnn or fox news you're morons you're gonna get
the same result
they're gonna democrat or republican they're dropping to their knees and they're
blowing the bankers
all right so enough with your fucking debates so anyway so i go in there and i
go let me get a slice
of pizza and i'll get evidently the imported coca-cola
you guys how fucked up that is that's like if the guinness tasted better over
here than it did in
ireland that doesn't make any fucking sense whatsoever so anyway so i walk in
there and this
stupid ass song and i didn't know the name of the song i just know i've heard
it in elevators i've seen
it on television i've seen it in commercials i hear it in malls i can't get
away from this fucking song
this song sucks on unbelievably on so many fucking levels everywhere i go this
stupid ass song is
playing i don't know if you guys are familiar with this there's no way that you
you haven't heard
this song here it is
you know this song
shut the fuck up you fucking douche with a ukulele
oh jesus christ that's that's the animal house moment john belushi should be
walking down a flight of
stairs to that guy and then smashing the shit out of his guitar
except this time he shouldn't say sorry and he should smash it over this guy's
fucking head
sorry i'm in a bit of a mood
why is that song so popular you know why it is because that song moves through
your head
like fucking air all right
comes in one ear and it goes right out the other and you are left with zero
thoughts
listen to this fucking thing you tell me okay if you're actually trying to
fucking
live any sort of a meaningful life
how in the fuck
can you do it when there's shit like this in the background
the cool done run out i'll be giving it my best
this or nothing's gonna stop me
but to find
yeah gee i wear my fucking sandals and no one gives a shit
um
i'm yours
i'm yours
that's one for the vaginas
you know
download that right to your fucking twat
he wasn't even trying to make guys fans
there's a smart man right there
i bet he's worth
i think he's worth this day and age in the music business
dude if you have me tied to a chair while waiting for a delayed flight playing
that music
that is my guantanamo bay
right there
i'd rather be fucking waterboarded than listen
well i don't know who's getting who
i don't want to slowly drown for an hour
but you know
i would consider it