Name: Bill Burr - The Apple Plant Suicides
Uploaded: 2011-06-07T16:57:19.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - The Apple Plant Suicides' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2011-06-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - The Apple Plant Suicides' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2011-06-07. Transcript available.

Have you guys seen the stuff about all the suicides at the Apple plant?
You know that really cunty commercial where they go, you know, if you don't
have an iPhone, then you don't have the iPhone.
And I wanted to get an iPhone until I saw those goddamn commercials, and they
kept like just – it's the most bizarre advertising.
It makes me angry at the iPhone.
I never had any anger towards the iPhone or the people who had one.
I never gave a shit.
I was like, that phone's the shit.
I heard it drops calls.
I'll wait until it's on Verizon.
And then right when it gets on Verizon and I'm all ready to jump on board, they
come up with this na-na-na-na-na-na fucking cunty shit going, you know, if you
had an iPhone right now, you could be looking at the inside of your fucking
throat and diagnosing your fucking throat cancer before it even happens.
You know, but if you don't have the iPhone, you don't have the iPhone.
It's like, well, fuck you.
I'm sticking with the droid.
So anyways, now I read they just had the 10th suicide at the Apple plant.
Now, who's kidding who?
We all know that everything that we're wearing, everything that we're using is
made by some four-year-old making six cents an hour somewhere.
Well, evidently, these people have had enough.
They've had 10 suicides at the Apple plant.
Here we go.
On the same day that Apple, Dell, Hewlett-Packard promised to look into working
conditions at China's Foxconn plant, a 10th worker committed suicide.
The death of a 19-year-old male worker.
Ah, it's too bad.
He was like one year away from getting his fucking severance pay.
Or his, ah, shit, I fucked it up.
What the hell do you get it when you do 20 years on the force?
Oh, God.
I'm sorry, everybody.
I'm on my fucking vacation mode.
What the hell?
I get my pension.
What is that when you work 20 years on the force and he's only 19?
You get it because he's been working since he was two?
Oh, Jesus.
The death of a 19-year-old male worker also came just after the company's
billionaire founder took the media on tour of the sprawling complex in response
to accusations from labor groups that workers toiled in sweatshop-like
conditions.
Oh, hilarious.
So then the billionaire shows up, they clean the place up, stick in a water
bubbler, and go, see, it's great.
And I know what a lot of you fucking heartless cunts are going to say.
You're going to say, well, sweatshop labor is necessary.
Do you want to pay $8,000 for a laptop?
Well, here's my rebuttal.
You know what?
If the cunt at the top didn't have to make a billion dollars a year, you know?
Kind of like when they were talking to the oil companies.
They go, you're projected to make $350 billion.
How about you just make $340 billion?
Do you have to make that much money?
That's the thing.
The people at the top are taking way too much fucking money.
There's no fucking way that the only reasonable way to make a laptop is to give
people such shitty wages that suicide is a better fucking option.
And you do it at the fucking plant to make some sort of political statement.
There's just no fucking way.
How about the people at the top?
I mean, once you got $100 million, do you ever need to get another paycheck?
I don't understand that.
I don't understand that.
I don't understand that.
And I'm not saying that the people at the top shouldn't be filthy, stinking
rich because they came up with it.
But you shouldn't be paying people.
There shouldn't be sweatshops, everybody.
That's all I'm saying.
And what sucks is that we actually came up with unions in this country because
of sweatshop-like conditions.
But what ended up happening was the people in the unions took advantage of it.
And with their strength, they became a bunch of slothy douchebags to the point
that there's a lot of people who actually have negative views about unions.
That's how bad it is in this country.
And they're actually excited that they're going to do away with unions.
A lot of people want to do away with fucking unions rather than reform them.
But to do away with them is we're going to end up like these poor bastards in
fucking China, you know, sewing shit together and going, you know what?
I think I'd rather jump out a fucking window than make another goddamn iPhone.
So anyways, it says the company has bought psychiatrists and Buddhist monks to
the factory, to the factory complex to support workers and now plays soothing
music along production lines.
Why don't you just fucking pay them?
It plans to install 10-foot-tall fences to stop workers jumping from buildings
and may give workers a 20% pay raise.
This is how tight these fucking rich cunts are.
Let's play soothing music and put a fence up.
We'll try that first rather than just giving them more money.
What is it 20% pay raise when you make it 8 cents an hour?
And anyways, Foxconn representatives maintain that the increase would not be in
response to the suicides but is being considered because business has been good.
Give me a fucking break.