Name: Bill Burr - Whores In Vegas
Uploaded: 2011-07-04T16:44:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Whores In Vegas' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2011-07-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Whores In Vegas' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2011-07-04. Transcript available.

if you want to know what global warming is going to bring to your city in a few
years come out to
las vegas first weekend in july and i'll tell you there are some fucking whores
out in this city
does it make me excited all walking around with their short skirts and their
thick little thighs
and their fucking asses jacked up with their little whorey shoes from the kardashian
line
you know you gotta love those skanks you know those skanks that just have no
fucking talent but
they got big brown eyes and they draw some fucking eyeliner around them so they
can fucking look like
some scared squirrel as they give head over a cell phone cam right and then all
then all of a sudden
they become famous then they become famous you know the whole world's sending
the message out there
that it's okay to be a whore and then then they get they get all these deals
and then they come out with
do they come out with something tasteful
do they come out with something that's even remotely respectful of course not
they come out with whore wear okay you go with what you know with you gotta go
with your gut okay and what these
women know is they know ass in titties got them where the fuck they're at aside
from having big brown eyes that you draw eyeliner
around then you look up like you know what you want me to do it right
so now you got all these other fucking who is out here what happened what
happened here
for some reason my fucking you guys still hearing this
wait a minute wait a minute we got a problem here we got a problem with the
channel
uh... fuck how come i can't hear in this air and the other side isn't going up
that
jesus christ i was on a nice roll hang on a second i gotta fix this
hang on is this what it is
fucking thing coming out again
uh... christ is my fucking machine crapping out why because it's so goddamn hot
in here
you guys want to listen to this you want to listen to a guy who doesn't have a
fucking producer
try and solve why it's coming in clearly in the left channel and not the right
channel
ladies and gentlemen please don't panic the monday morning podcast will be back
after a short break
okay test test i'm back i saw what happened i saw it i figured it out i figured
it out my fucking uh my elbow hit some button here
all right we're back so anyways i'm talking about whore wear
all right
this is what they know
this is what they do
and then these these other these other ladies i don't know what their fucking
problem is
but god bless them for not figuring it out
they did they
are so enamored with celebrity
that they they they forget that these whores are whores
so then they go out and they buy their fucking clothing
and they dress
the way they dress
and then you got me a filthy middle-aged man walking around with the fucking
semi
you know
but i'm harmless
i'm harmless you know
i'm at that age
not only
do they not give a fuck about me
it's like they
they look away as fast as if they
when they look at me like they're looking at like a lamp or something
just a complete inanimate object
it's so fucking sad to get to this goddamn age
where the god i'm that guy
even though i kept myself in shape
i'm still an old balding jackass right
no one gives a fuck anymore
that's why they have that great saying
that youth is wasted on the young
you know why
because you don't know
you don't know
you don't know any better
you're so busy freaking out
is that is that
is that a pimple
whatever the fuck it is you're doing
you don't realize
you're in the prime of your life
and even if you do
you can't appreciate it
because
you haven't been where i'm at
you know
and i haven't been
where somebody older than me's at
and some other guy
sitting there listening to this
on a toilet
with his balls in the fucking water
you know
but god bless
this skanky
hoary
fucking generation
it's unbelievable
i walked by uh
the playboy club
i mean what the fuck do you expect
right
and everybody's standing out there
with their
all the guys with their
ed hardy
affliction
bedazzled
fucking shirts
absolutely horrific
you know what i mean
knowing full well
that they watch
they all watch the jersey shores
if it's like a drama
you know
they watch it
you know
compel
think it's like compelling
why does it keep making that
fucking noise
you know this people i forgot my windscreen this this week
i don't have the windscreen and even though there's no wind in here
i think i'm
popping on the mic
so that i got the levels turned up so fucking high cuz every goddamn week you
cunts bitch to me