Name: Bill Burr With Guest Dave Attell
Uploaded: 2011-11-08T16:52:17.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr With Guest Dave Attell' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2011-11-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr With Guest Dave Attell' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2011-11-08. Transcript available.

And before we get too far into this, I do want to hype what you got going on
here.
You have a brand new show on Showtime called Dave's Old Porn, which debuted
about a week ago?
No, Bill.
Or two weeks ago?
Oh, Jesus.
Let's see.
We're about three weeks in, and it's been going great.
Yes.
For a premium cable, it's a hit.
That's awesome.
And a lot of people who are into retro porn, because it's mostly about the
hairy 70s, early 80s porn of yesteryear, before Twitter.
I've said this a million times, but before the web and all that kind of stuff,
old VCR top-loading.
Dave's Old Porn.
So just to let the listeners at home, Dave, just to paint a picture for them,
tell us about the show without spoiling, basically, what goes on.
Well, it's kind of the mystery science theater of porn, where I bring out
comics.
Like, this week, this Thursday at 1130 on Showtime, Bill Burr himself will be
there.
That's right.
And we will be sampling, jumping from clip to clip through Nina Hartley, who is
probably one of the greatest living legends of porn.
Nina Hartley, a delight, super cool lady.
And we watch her clips.
Did you have fun watching her stuff?
Yeah, I was absolutely starstruck that she showed up.
Yeah.
You couldn't believe it.
I sat on a couch.
It was me, Nina, and Dave watching, and literally watching old porn and sitting
there commenting on it.
And I thought she was cool as hell.
I was really, like, definitely, I don't know how to, like, just, she, I don't
know.
Porn stars, they just don't judge anything.
When you've just gone through all of that stuff that they've done, they're just
kind of like, hey, you know, whatever.
Yeah.
Because I freaked out at one point.
You had, you had.
Don't give it away, Bill.
I know, I'm not, I'm teasing.
We'll be posting a little bit of that clip this week on Dave's Old Porn.com.
Doing a little teaser there, Dave.
What I realized is that, like, first of all, watching porn with women is
different than watching porn with dudes.
Like, you know, Sausage Fest, Bachelor Party, you know.
Yeah.
Let's watch a couple of stag films, get drunk.
Everybody with their legs crossed trying to hide their heart on.
Yeah, exactly.
If you're younger, right?
But we brought out some of the funniest ladies, too.
Ladies.
Whitney Cummings, Chelsea Handler, Margaret Cho.
And it's cool watching with a woman because they get the woman's perspective on
sex and porn and on the whole thing.
And they like it, but they don't like it like we like it, you know.
Right.
That actually, that immediately was fascinating to me.
What did you find was different?
Well, they definitely do not like double penetration, anal, donkey punch,
anything that you, any kind of jizz, you know, jizz, what you call it, facials
and money shots.
All that stuff is really not in their bucket list of, I hope one day to do this
with my Prince Charming.
I think it all depends on, I think for most women that is like that.
But then every once in a while, you'll meet a real thoroughbred and they'll
actually be relating to it the way you do.
Yes.
It's hard to talk about.
I actually saw, I was messing around with this girl a long time ago and I
watched one of those Max Hardcores.
Yes.
I love that guy.
He's in jail now.
Yeah.
He's great.
And they were, and I remember saying to her like, yeah, you're not going to
watch, my porn I'm watching at this point is really twisted.
You don't want to watch this shit.
And she's just like, no, no, get put it on, put it on.
And she was actually, I actually got self-conscious, I shut it off and I was
like, I can't watch this with you.
Yeah, you feel bad.
And then she was just like, what?
She, you know, what did she say?
She said she wanted it is the way she said it, which was just the classic
accused line.
And I had a lot of fun with that girl, Dave.
Oh, good for you.
Well, Bill, you know.
I really did.
You're an unassuming type.
So I never even thought you liked porn because I figured, because some of it, I
don't think you really understood what we were doing.
But then I think once you got into it, you really like, you know, dug in.
And I like that because at first we were watching this movie that Nina made
with Tracy Adams, who's another legend of porn called The Ultimate Lover with
Eric Edwards.
And it's kind of a Frankenstein-esque film.
And we try and jump through the whole film.
And it was really difficult, wasn't it, to watch an entire movie?
Yeah.
I mean, like you never do that in real life, watch a whole porn from beginning
to end.
Yeah, you just go right to the point.
Yeah, exactly.
Or fast forward or whatever.
The phone rings or your boss walks in.
It's over, you know.
Well, you know what it was about.
I got this weird.
I think it's the being raised Catholic thing.
Yes.
It's like as crass as I am on this podcast, all the shit that I say and some of
the stuff I talk about on stage, you know, I curse a lot.
But I do stay away from sex for some reason.
You're a good guy.
I can say cunt on stage.
I can do all that type of trash women, misogynistic stuff, arguably.
I don't think so.
I like to think I have a point.
But for some reason, if I talk about sex on stage, I'm always really self-conscious
and I feel like I'm being crass.
I don't know why.
And I'm not judging someone who talks about sex.
It's just personally.
I think it has to do with that sort of upbringing.
So probably the episode I did with you, that was the initial, you know, going
out.
God, I'm talking about this.
This is on TV.
Because I had no idea what the show was.
Yeah.
How hardcore you were going to do it or the way you guys were going to edit
around stuff, which I saw a clip, which is fucking genius, by the way.
Oh, thank you.
It's really funny.
And we're floating on the couch.
Hey, Bill.
Come on, man.
You're three weeks in.
Oh, you're right.
You're right.
No, I'm sorry.
I'm like Lucas.
I don't want to give away any secrets.
George Lucas would never.
Thank you for working with an actual comedian and a human being and not having
me digitally
put in there.
Oh, yeah, exactly.
Well, let me tell you something.
It rocked out because we had great comics like you and Jim Norton and Adam Carolla.
Has Norton's aired yet?
No, not yet.
I got to see that one.
But Norton to porn is like he's the Sacagawea.
He can find the three-way.
He can find the three-way at a church picnic.
I mean, he is the best.
I mean, he really gets into it.
We have these great close-ups of him.
But I could see for yourself how it was a little embarrassing.
He's like a great analyst on ESPN, except it's porn.
That's why I want to watch.
That's why I was asking.
When is Jim's?
Jim's is coming out.
He's towards the end of the run.
But right now, last week's show, for those who did watch, and I think your
crowd kind
of would dig this, like the people listening to this podcast.
Absolutely.
Dave's old porn.
Well-known.
It was the young porn stars, Bella Donna, Christina Rose, Bobby Starr, watching
the old
retro hairy porn.
And you'll never believe this, Bill, but they found it quaint.
They were like, look at this.
This is adorable.
The hair, they didn't really dig, but they like hair a little bit.
But the sex, they were like, look how adorable.
They're cuddling and kissing.
They don't do that.
In today's porn, it's really like you said it in the show.
I'm not going to give it away, but it's like a workout.
It's like a P90X video.
It's like fucking hardcore and extreme.
Am I talking too much?
No, no, not at all.
Is that possible on a podcast to talk too much?
Not at all.
No, no, no.
But you've got to give me credit being 15 minutes in, and I've yet to go.
So, Dave, what is the inspiration for your material?
What were some of the jobs you had before?
I don't think we've said this yet.
Thursday, 1130 on Showtime.
Dave's Old Porn, the new hit show.
Yeah.
Well, it's a hit.
It's doing really well.
It's right after Gigolos, which is about a couple of male escorts.
Great leader.
Oh, there you go.
Got a great leader.
It's the late night block.
And then the Twitter account is at Old Porn, and the letter O in porn is
actually not the
letter O.
It's zero.
Yeah.
It's the number zero.
Because that's Twitter.
But let me tell you this, Bill.
If they go to the davesoldporn.com website, they'll be able to see pictures and
clips of upcoming
shows.
Your show will be this Thursday, and other stuff that we have shot.
But it's really, when you say, how did I come up with the idea?
It's like, I've been working on this idea for like four years.
I think I've told this to you like three or four times.
Yeah, I want to say.
Drunkenly, whatever, sober.
We shot this like a year ago, didn't we?
Yeah, I shot some.
Yeah, we shot this last summer, and it took so long to edit, because it's all
about post-production,
you saw.
But besides that, I've been working on it for years and years, and I came up
with the idea.
It was co-created by Stuart B.
I don't use his last name, because he is in television, but Stuart Bailey.
And he's helped me shape and guide it.
And Showtime is the best place for it, because, you know.
We're allowed to show everything up to penetration, so everything, isn't that
great?
Yeah, and I thought when I was...
And there's always the one guy who's like, where's the penetration?
It's like, I'm with you, dude.
I'm totally with this guy.
It's like, I feel like I cannot save this man, you know?
It's like, I'm with him.
Because I love porn, so what can I do?
But what you're doing is, you're kind of doing it the way they do movie
trailers right
now, where when they show a movie trailer, they show the entire movie, except
for basically
the conclusion of the third act.
They show you right up until how the hero solves it.
And I think that that's what you're doing with porn.
Because if you actually show the penetration, then there's no point.
You want people to laugh.
You don't want people rubbing one out as they're watching it, right?
I'd like a little of both.
I'd like people to go like, you know, that was funny, and now I'm hard.
What do I do?
You know?
Like that kind of a thing.
And the dog runs out of the room, you know?
Something weird.
Is this how you pitched the show when you came in?