Name: Bill Burr - F Off Day
Uploaded: 2012-02-06T12:14:31.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - F Off Day' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2012-02-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - F Off Day' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2012-02-06. Transcript available.

Let's move on. Steak and a blowjob day. Bill, I'm only 15 minutes into the
latest podcast and I feel that I must inform you that there is a Valentine's
Day for men. It's called Steak and a Blowjob Day. Is it really? Does Hallmark
make cards for that? It's celebrated March 14th, one month after Valentine's
Day. It's simple. The ladies show their man appreciation by cooking him a steak
and giving him a blowjob.
I remember this movement gaining some momentum with people my age, 23, a while
back, but then I haven't heard anything about it in years. Yeah, it's amazing.
I've been watching the news lately and I've seen plenty of stuff on Valentine's
Day. I haven't really heard them. Coming up next, has everybody got their
shopping ready? The women.
I'm standing out here live in front of the grocery store. There's a pandemonium.
Women are trying to buy steaks.
You know, they got the blowjob thing down, but they need that meat.
Is everything that you guys are sending me horse shit this week?
A few years ago, I remember seeing people posting about it on Facebook on March
14th, including girls saying that they would be participating.
This movement needs a second push of momentum. It needs a celebrity endorsement.
It needs Bill Burr. I thought you needed a celebrity.
What level of show business am I in?
Okay, I feel like I'm slowly getting to VJ level.
Am I as famous as a VJ, maybe?
You know, am I more recognizable than the jack-in-the-box guy's voice?
Anyways, I know you could explain and defend this holiday from haters.
I'm pretty sure it started in your own hometown of Boston, too.
Promote steak and a blowjob day on the podcast and be a part of history.
Dude, I don't know how to promote this.
Well, I can give you some advice.
First thing you need to do is you need to come up with a euphemism for blowjob.
All right?
Because if it's steak and a blowjob day, you're really limiting, you know, the
amount of people that you can reach out to.
You know?
It's like you kind of go in like death metal there.
Like Hallmark isn't going to make, you know, cutesy little cards with like dicks
on them and like a fucking steak grilling in the background.
Like I don't know how the fuck you would do that.
So, I don't know.
I don't know.
My fucking team lost the Super Bowl.
I can't even make steak and a blowjob day funny.
What the fuck do you want from me?
I'm playing hurt on this one.
Okay?
Oh, my God.
It's not that they lost.
It's that they fucking blew it.
They had it.
They fucking had it.
Just fucking catch the goddamn ball.
Keep going down the field.
Kick a little fucking field goal.
Give it back to them.
They've blown their two, fuck, two out of three timeouts.
Steak and a blowjob day.
You know what?
I'm so old.
How about fuck off day?
That's what I would like.
Fuck off.
Just 24 hours.
Just fuck off.
No.
For 24 hours.
I don't want to be in another room just getting comfortable in here.
Honey?
Honey, could you open this?
I mean, I can't be.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You remember we were supposed to go to the fucking cottage cheese con fair
today?
Just 24 hours of not that.
24 hours of, I just don't want at any point to be like, are you done watching
the TV?
Because I wanted to watch my shows now.
I wanted to watch.
I wanted to watch my shows.
Can I watch my shows?
Hey, honey, fuck off.
Don't be mean to me.
It's fuck off day.
Fuck off.
It means fuck off for 24 hours.
Okay?
You know what's funny is they couldn't do it.
They couldn't do it.
They would say, the sun is down.
The day's over.
God.
It's really the whole.
Yes, it's the whole day.
Fuck off.
You literally have to leave your house for fuck off day.
Do you realize that?
Fuck off.