Name: Bill Burr - Super Bowl XLVI
Uploaded: 2012-02-06T12:37:16.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Super Bowl XLVI' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2012-02-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Super Bowl XLVI' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2012-02-06. Transcript available.

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr, and it's the Monday Morning Podcast from
Monday, February 6th, 2012.
What's going on? You know what the fuck's going on, you cunt.
Ah, Jesus Christ.
I'm actually recording this thing an hour, and maybe an hour and change after
the Patriots just lost to the New York Giants.
Congratulations to the Giants.
Oh my God, that game was fucking brutal.
Brutal game. I got myself all mentally prepared to get our asses kicked.
Because on paper, I was like, our defense isn't going to be good enough.
And that front four of Adonises that they have that look like super-sized linebackers.
And next thing you know, we come out and we're playing with them and we're fine.
We just, I just, I don't know.
You know, we just didn't make the fucking plays when we needed to make the
plays.
That's all there is to it.
The Giants did everything they could to give us the game.
They blew the fucking, calling two timeouts.
I'm like, they're fucking up.
They're unraveling.
After we spotted them nine points.
It was like nobody wanted to win the game for a minute.
We fucking stop them.
We get the goddamn ball.
First play of the game.
You throw a 50-yard intentional ground in your own fucking end zone.
You're down two to nothing.
All right, regroup, regroup.
They're driving down the field.
You make a play.
You cause a fumble.
You fall on it.
Nice.
Here we go.
Ah, you got an extra guy on the field.
And next thing you know, we're down 9-0.
And guess who texts me?
Nine to nothing.
Charlie Murphy.
One of the classic fair weather fans of all time.
I haven't talked.
You know, I've known Charlie for years.
I think we've had maybe three conversations about football.
Patriots even played the Giants and lost during the regular season to them.
Do you think he even noticed he's too busy down the dojo trying to figure out
how to put his foot behind his head
in case some motherfucker comes up to him and tries to steal his, I don't know,
the chain off his neck.
He doesn't know shit about football.
He couldn't even fucking talk shit before the game.
He waited until they were up 9-0.
And he texts, G-Men all day.
Charlie, I know you could kick the shit out of me.
I don't know if you're listening to this, but that was one of the bitchiest
texts I ever got in my life.
All right?
So congratulations to you, Charlie.
To you and your brand new Giants hat that you bought 9-0.
Is that when you finally committed to buying it?
Whatever.
There's always going to be guys like that on both sides.
It's definitely fair weather people in Boston with your pink Red Sox hats, your
cunts singing that Neil Diamond song.
I hope you all fucking drown on a duck boat.
I don't know.
We started playing all right.
We were coming back.
Everything was going good.
And then we had the game.
We fucking had it.
Brady to Welker.
I don't know what happened.
We had the fucking game.
And we just didn't make the goddamn plays.
And we just didn't make the plays.
And the Giants made the plays.
So they deserve it.
But this one fucking hurts more than 2007.
I just felt like, look, you know, I mean, it sucked at the end of the game.
But despite the fact that we lost at the end of the game, I just really felt
that that was just an undeniable championship.
You know, all those teams they beat on the road.
And then they beat the undefeated Patriots.
I just, you know, I always felt it was a shame the Patriots were undefeated
because I never thought the Giants got credit.
Because it wasn't the Giants won.
It was the Patriots lost.
Like, that was the fucking story.
But this one hurts fucking more.
But if you're a true sports fan, you saw what happened.
All right?
But this one.
This one was brutal because we fucking had it.
And I just felt like we just blew it.
We fucking blew it.
And I know this sounds like I'm taking away from the Giants.
I'm not because that fucking pass, that pass Eli made, I mean, even if there
was nobody in front of him to make that fucking pass down along the sideline,
single coverage is an amazing throw.
He threw it into double coverage with somebody right in his face.
He had an alligator arm and he still put it right in there.
It was one of the greatest passes I've ever seen in my fucking life.
The guy just makes the plays.
And the only silver lining that I can take from all this is he has more rings
than his brother.
So there you go, Colt fans.
Now what do you got to say?
With your fucking Brady-Payton Manning argument, you know, at least Tom Brady
has more rings than his brother.
Ah, fuck.
I'm really looking for an angle to try and talk shit.
I can't.
That's not what I do.
I take my fucking lumps.
The Giants deserve it.
They're just a great fucking organization and they got four Super Bowls and
that immediately moves them.
They were sort of middle-upper as far as historical football franchises.
Now they got four.
All right?
So you got Steelers got six, 49ers and Cowboys got five, and then they're tied
with four with Green Bay.
So they're up there with the Steelers, the Packers, the 49ers, and the Cowboys,
man.
That's great company.
So you guys should be proud, man.
It was fucking...
Oh, God.
I can't believe I got to do this fucking podcast.
I just keep...
It's just...
I can't even explain it.
I felt like I had an ice cream in my hand and I'm about to put it in my mouth
and somebody knocked the fuck out.
I'm standing here with an empty cone.
Oh, God.
That was a fucking brutal one.
That was a brutal, brutal fucking loss.
They just fucking blew it.
And you blew it!
Whatever.
You know?
What am I going to do?
It's not like, you know...
I'm sure nobody in Cleveland has any fucking sympathy for me.
All right?
So, anyways.
You're probably asking yourself, well, gee, Bill.
You know, you're on a plane tomorrow.
Where the fuck are you going?
Oh, by the way, I'm not making fun of Madonna for being in the halftime show
because I didn't even fucking watch it.
All right?
I really think that Madonna helped the Giants fucking win this.
No, she didn't.
But I'm going to lie to you if I wasn't freaking out during that bullshit.
You know?
We were down 9-0.
We come back.
Score like fucking whatever.
How many unanswered?
We score 10-9.
It was 10-9 at halftime.
And I'm thinking, all right, we got it.
We got the momentum.
We're getting the ball back.
Let's go in for a quick halftime.
No!
Turn around.
Everywhere is fucking heartache.
I'm voguing with gay guys.
For fucking a goddamn half an hour.
Now, let me ask you this.
Who is...
Whose advantage is that?
It's the fucking team that's reeling.
It's the team that needs to take a knee.
Any time Fergie goes out there and shows her fucking ass for an extra half an
hour.
I want to know this, fellow football fans.
How the fuck did we go from Bart Starr and Vince Lombardi to that horse shit?
All right?
Jesus fucking Christ.
With the goddamn two-hour halftime fucking show.
I mean, it's a bullshit theory because we got the ball and then drove down and
scored a touchdown.
But it just was...
It's just...
I don't know.
You know?
Why can't they just be happy making billions?
Do they have to make billions and billions?
Do they have to whore out the fucking sport to that level?
That every goddamn year you got to bring some fucking over-the-hill rock star
to come out there, right?
I'd rather watch an old-timers game.
You know?
I didn't watch a second.
What did she do?
I heard some of the music.
You know?
It's a fucking football game.
It's the championship game.
Does anybody else have that?
Does anybody else have voguing in the middle of it?
Don't do something, something, something, something, something.
Vogue, Vogue, Vogue, you know?
And were they all doing their fierce faces?
Dressed like they were in Avatar, you know?
Like they're going to get fucked in the ass on Avatar.
Oh, he's a better sports fan today, people.
You know?
I'm going to try and blame Madonna for the loss.
No, no.
Either way, I would have made fun of that shit.
All right?
Bruce Springsteen sliding around on his knees.
Prince coming out there with his stupid purple high-heeled boots.
All right?
We got it.
You like to lick your lips, okay?
With your little fucking, and his little hairdo.
You know?
Coming out there in his little fucking jammy jams to go sing a fucking song
with his curly
cue guitar at a fucking football game.
All right?
Go down to Guitar Center and teach somebody how to do a fucking, I don't know.
Play a goddamn G chord.
Get the fuck off the field.
You know?
If I was NFL commissioner, this is what I would do.
That was one of the first things I would do.
Is I would get rid of that ridiculous halftime fucking show.
All right?
I'd douche that.
I would actually be ousted by all the owners, all the things that I wouldn't
want to do.
I would do that, and there was something else I wanted to do, but I already
fucking forgot
it.
My brain just goes in a straight line.
It was right there.
I had the idea, and I just blew by it to go right to the Madonna shit.
Now I can't remember.
Now it's in the dust.
The fuck was it?
Oh, I know what I would do.
I would undo that rule that the Colts made, that the Colts pushed through.
So now everybody throws for 5,000 fucking yards.
I would allow cornerbacks to cover, you know, to cover receivers.
You know?
Patriots got away with one.
I don't think they were both bad calls, but one of them was, you know?
Another thing, yeah.
We got, I mean, both those calls could have been pass interference, and we got
away with
them.
You know?
We just fucking didn't take advantage of the shit, you know?
Calls were going our way.
Oh, Jesus.
Anyways.
I was actually standing out on the balcony drinking a fucking beer going, I
think they're
going to win.
I got a good feeling.
You know?
They can come out.
They score a fucking touchdown.
Every time I poked my head in, you know?
She was sitting there like a virgin who got fucked 90 years ago.
Whatever the fuck she was singing, everybody was all dressed in this stupid,
ugh.
Whatever.
You know something?
I don't give a fuck if you think this podcast sucks.
You want your fucking team lose the Super Bowl.
Have your fucking heart ripped out.
And then you go talk for an hour in the goddamn podcast.
By the way, what was that Tom Brady photo shoot?
Who was the non-football person that they brought in for the photo shoots this
year?
You know, they had the offensive lineman doing that 1960s football card pose.
Even the Eli one where he brought the thing back, you could see it in his eyes.
Like, what am I doing here?
I usually just stand here and you take my picture.
And then, I don't know, Tom Brady, he went for it.
I think he's been hanging out with Giselle a little too long.
He did a whole photo shoot thing.
Hey, I'm doing the pouty face with my fist on my chin.
And now I'm doing what looks like I'm jerking off.
And then I don't know what he did.
He did the Charleston.
I don't know what he did.
It's the Super Bowl.
We need it to be super.
Let's do some photo shoots.
Let's bring in Madonna.
Somebody make some dip.
Do you know why it's like the Super Bowl really is like,
you know those bug lights to attract mosquitoes?
The Super Bowl is just for non-sports fan douchebags.
It really is.
It's because it's the only sport where it's all, you know, one game, all the
marbles, that's it.
Okay?
You play for an NBA championship, it's best four out of seven.
MLB, best four out of seven.
Stanley Cup, best four out of seven.
Okay?
So, you got to be a real fan to stick it out for at least four or five fucking
games.
You know?
Super Bowl, all you got to do is just show up.
And everybody shuts up during the fucking commercials.
And then they run their goddamn miles.
But I actually went to a good Super Bowl party.
But anyways, that's not what I'm here to talk about, people.
Okay?
Better team won.
I'm going to put it in the past.
And I am not going to discuss it at all during this next advertising.
Speed.
All right, Bill.
Game face on.
Game face.
All right?
Make the plays.
Unlike your team.
Okay?
Make the fucking play here.
Ah!
You know what's funny?
After the Super Bowl, I just have to talk about it.
After the Super Bowl party, okay?
When your team loses, all right?
This is what you do.
You just, you don't watch ESPN.
You know?
I answer the phone.
Because I, you know, I love my friends when they break my balls.
Okay?
I take the shit.
All right?
Anthony Cumia called me up.
That gun nut.
Okay?
That little warmongerer out there in the cul-de-sac who just never grew out of
playing cowboys
and Indians.
You know?
He never grew out of that or having a goatee.
You know?
He just, that man loves the past.
All right?
He calls me up out of nowhere.
You know?
Asking me stuff.
He doesn't even know anything about the game.
Doesn't know anything about sports.
And I was like, Anthony, you Dago bastard.
What the fuck are you calling me for?
But I love him.
So I took the call.
And he painstakingly made me go through the details of a game he didn't even
give a shit about.
You know?
You know what's funny?
He sounded like he was in a bar and he was actually in his own goddamn house.
I'm telling you.
I don't know why they keep doing stories on Hugh Hefner.
They really, they got to start talking about Anthony.
He is the East Coast's Hugh Hefner.
You know?
Whatever.
So anyway, so I'm driving home and I'm trying to avoid hearing anything about
the game.
I'm thinking, all right, I'm in Los Angeles.
You know, they don't even have a football team.
You know, I'll listen to the Top 40 station.
So I'm listening to this awful Top 40 stuff.
And even then, I figured I was going to get away.
I didn't have to listen to it.
Eli Manning, what's the guy?
Beats the New England Patriots.
Stop radio.
I don't know.
He looked okay.
I didn't have to listen to any of that.
I'm listening to this Top 40 horse shit.
You know?
Classic hits or something.
The guy's like, coming up next, we got men at work.
Speaking of men at work, the Giants were men at work today when I beat the
Patriots.
I was like, ah, you fucking cunt.
I can't get away from it.
So tomorrow, I got to go to the airport.
All right.
I got to go to the goddamn airport.
I know it's going to be on the cover of all that fucking thing.
But I don't know.
I got to admit, I actually like the Giants.
And I like Eli.
I do.
I just like the style of football that they play.
And I wish we would draft defensive fucking linemen that look like the guy.
I got to tell you something.
That kid there whose dad was in the crowd.
And they told that whole story about how his grandfather was blind.
And he built half the town, you know?
And everything was where it was supposed to be.
Whatever the fucking story they were telling.
That play where we were right down on the goal line, even though we scored,
where they handed it to Ben Javis, Green Ellis, right?
How the fuck he was able to tackle that guy for a lot is one of the most
amazing plays I've ever seen.
That's like some Lawrence Taylor shit, but he's doing it as a defensive tackle.
It was frightening.
You know, it's funny.
I was actually watching a game with one of the Patriots fans who was like one
of those guys who cheers when the other team gets injured.
And even all the other Pats fans were like, come on, man.
Really?
You're going to bring that karma onto us?
Ah, Jesus Christ.
Why?
This always fucking happens to me.
I got to start doing like the fucking Thursday morning podcast.
That's what I got to start doing so I can tape them on Wednesdays.
Because it always seems like I have to deal with some crushing fucking defeat.
That time when the Jets beat the Patriots in a playoff game.
That was a Sunday night.
I was in fucking, uh, what the hell was I?
I was in Atlantic City.
Then I had to go up in front of Jets fans.
Who gives a fuck?
I do, obviously.
You know what?
I'm already getting past it.
What am I going to do?
Was Tom Brady going to buy me a corned beef sandwich if you fucking want it?
What was with that photo shoot?
Who the fuck cleared that?
Jesus.
Congratulations to the, uh, the franchise New York Giants.
And congratulations to all the true New York Giants fans.
Uh, it's fucking awesome, man.
Come on, dude.
Four fucking Super Bowl rings.
That's the shit.
Okay?
You know it is.
That's the shit.
You can make a fist and you got one for each goddamn finger.
Thumbs curling around.
No one can see that one yet.
You know?
But who knows?
Who knows?
With fucking Eli and the way you guys draft defensive players, it wouldn't
surprise me if Eli got his third.
You know?
It really wouldn't surprise me, man.
That guy is the fucking man and he finally got his due.
You know, good for him.
Um, I'm not gonna lie to you.
It fucking hurts, but I'm not, I'm not a cunt when I lose.
All right?
So, congratulations to you sons of bitches.

Bill Burr - Super Bowl XLVI

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr, and it's the Monday Morning Podcast from
Monday, February 6th, 2012.
What's going on? You know what the fuck's going on, you cunt.
Ah, Jesus Christ.
I'm actually recording this thing an hour, and maybe an hour and change after
the Patriots just lost to the New York Giants.
Congratulations to the Giants.
Oh my God, that game was fucking brutal.
Brutal game. I got myself all mentally prepared to get our asses kicked.
Because on paper, I was like, our defense isn't going to be good enough.
And that front four of Adonises that they have that look like super-sized linebackers.
And next thing you know, we come out and we're playing with them and we're fine.
We just, I just, I don't know.
You know, we just didn't make the fucking plays when we needed to make the
plays.
That's all there is to it.
The Giants did everything they could to give us the game.
They blew the fucking, calling two timeouts.
I'm like, they're fucking up.
They're unraveling.
After we spotted them nine points.
It was like nobody wanted to win the game for a minute.
We fucking stop them.
We get the goddamn ball.
First play of the game.
You throw a 50-yard intentional ground in your own fucking end zone.
You're down two to nothing.
All right, regroup, regroup.
They're driving down the field.
You make a play.
You cause a fumble.
You fall on it.
Nice.
Here we go.
Ah, you got an extra guy on the field.
And next thing you know, we're down 9-0.
And guess who texts me?
Nine to nothing.
Charlie Murphy.
One of the classic fair weather fans of all time.
I haven't talked.
You know, I've known Charlie for years.
I think we've had maybe three conversations about football.
Patriots even played the Giants and lost during the regular season to them.
Do you think he even noticed he's too busy down the dojo trying to figure out
how to put his foot behind his head
in case some motherfucker comes up to him and tries to steal his, I don't know,
the chain off his neck.
He doesn't know shit about football.
He couldn't even fucking talk shit before the game.
He waited until they were up 9-0.
And he texts, G-Men all day.
Charlie, I know you could kick the shit out of me.
I don't know if you're listening to this, but that was one of the bitchiest
texts I ever got in my life.
All right?
So congratulations to you, Charlie.
To you and your brand new Giants hat that you bought 9-0.
Is that when you finally committed to buying it?
Whatever.
There's always going to be guys like that on both sides.
It's definitely fair weather people in Boston with your pink Red Sox hats, your
cunts singing that Neil Diamond song.
I hope you all fucking drown on a duck boat.
I don't know.
We started playing all right.
We were coming back.
Everything was going good.
And then we had the game.
We fucking had it.
Brady to Welker.
I don't know what happened.
We had the fucking game.
And we just didn't make the goddamn plays.
And we just didn't make the plays.
And the Giants made the plays.
So they deserve it.
But this one fucking hurts more than 2007.
I just felt like, look, you know, I mean, it sucked at the end of the game.
But despite the fact that we lost at the end of the game, I just really felt
that that was just an undeniable championship.
You know, all those teams they beat on the road.
And then they beat the undefeated Patriots.
I just, you know, I always felt it was a shame the Patriots were undefeated
because I never thought the Giants got credit.
Because it wasn't the Giants won.
It was the Patriots lost.
Like, that was the fucking story.
But this one hurts fucking more.
But if you're a true sports fan, you saw what happened.
All right?
But this one.
This one was brutal because we fucking had it.
And I just felt like we just blew it.
We fucking blew it.
And I know this sounds like I'm taking away from the Giants.
I'm not because that fucking pass, that pass Eli made, I mean, even if there
was nobody in front of him to make that fucking pass down along the sideline,
single coverage is an amazing throw.
He threw it into double coverage with somebody right in his face.
He had an alligator arm and he still put it right in there.
It was one of the greatest passes I've ever seen in my fucking life.
The guy just makes the plays.
And the only silver lining that I can take from all this is he has more rings
than his brother.
So there you go, Colt fans.
Now what do you got to say?
With your fucking Brady-Payton Manning argument, you know, at least Tom Brady
has more rings than his brother.
Ah, fuck.
I'm really looking for an angle to try and talk shit.
I can't.
That's not what I do.
I take my fucking lumps.
The Giants deserve it.
They're just a great fucking organization and they got four Super Bowls and
that immediately moves them.
They were sort of middle-upper as far as historical football franchises.
Now they got four.
All right?
So you got Steelers got six, 49ers and Cowboys got five, and then they're tied
with four with Green Bay.
So they're up there with the Steelers, the Packers, the 49ers, and the Cowboys,
man.
That's great company.
So you guys should be proud, man.
It was fucking...
Oh, God.
I can't believe I got to do this fucking podcast.
I just keep...
It's just...
I can't even explain it.
I felt like I had an ice cream in my hand and I'm about to put it in my mouth
and somebody knocked the fuck out.
I'm standing here with an empty cone.
Oh, God.
That was a fucking brutal one.
That was a brutal, brutal fucking loss.
They just fucking blew it.
And you blew it!
Whatever.
You know?
What am I going to do?
It's not like, you know...
I'm sure nobody in Cleveland has any fucking sympathy for me.
All right?
So, anyways.
You're probably asking yourself, well, gee, Bill.
You know, you're on a plane tomorrow.
Where the fuck are you going?
Oh, by the way, I'm not making fun of Madonna for being in the halftime show
because I didn't even fucking watch it.
All right?
I really think that Madonna helped the Giants fucking win this.
No, she didn't.
But I'm going to lie to you if I wasn't freaking out during that bullshit.
You know?
We were down 9-0.
We come back.
Score like fucking whatever.
How many unanswered?
We score 10-9.
It was 10-9 at halftime.
And I'm thinking, all right, we got it.
We got the momentum.
We're getting the ball back.
Let's go in for a quick halftime.
No!
Turn around.
Everywhere is fucking heartache.
I'm voguing with gay guys.
For fucking a goddamn half an hour.
Now, let me ask you this.
Who is...
Whose advantage is that?
It's the fucking team that's reeling.
It's the team that needs to take a knee.
Any time Fergie goes out there and shows her fucking ass for an extra half an
hour.
I want to know this, fellow football fans.
How the fuck did we go from Bart Starr and Vince Lombardi to that horse shit?
All right?
Jesus fucking Christ.
With the goddamn two-hour halftime fucking show.
I mean, it's a bullshit theory because we got the ball and then drove down and
scored a touchdown.
But it just was...
It's just...
I don't know.
You know?
Why can't they just be happy making billions?
Do they have to make billions and billions?
Do they have to whore out the fucking sport to that level?
That every goddamn year you got to bring some fucking over-the-hill rock star
to come out there, right?
I'd rather watch an old-timers game.
You know?
I didn't watch a second.
What did she do?
I heard some of the music.
You know?
It's a fucking football game.
It's the championship game.
Does anybody else have that?
Does anybody else have voguing in the middle of it?
Don't do something, something, something, something, something.
Vogue, Vogue, Vogue, you know?
And were they all doing their fierce faces?
Dressed like they were in Avatar, you know?
Like they're going to get fucked in the ass on Avatar.
Oh, he's a better sports fan today, people.
You know?
I'm going to try and blame Madonna for the loss.
No, no.
Either way, I would have made fun of that shit.
All right?
Bruce Springsteen sliding around on his knees.
Prince coming out there with his stupid purple high-heeled boots.
All right?
We got it.
You like to lick your lips, okay?
With your little fucking, and his little hairdo.
You know?
Coming out there in his little fucking jammy jams to go sing a fucking song
with his curly
cue guitar at a fucking football game.
All right?
Go down to Guitar Center and teach somebody how to do a fucking, I don't know.
Play a goddamn G chord.
Get the fuck off the field.
You know?
If I was NFL commissioner, this is what I would do.
That was one of the first things I would do.
Is I would get rid of that ridiculous halftime fucking show.
All right?
I'd douche that.
I would actually be ousted by all the owners, all the things that I wouldn't
want to do.
I would do that, and there was something else I wanted to do, but I already
fucking forgot
it.
My brain just goes in a straight line.
It was right there.
I had the idea, and I just blew by it to go right to the Madonna shit.
Now I can't remember.
Now it's in the dust.
The fuck was it?
Oh, I know what I would do.
I would undo that rule that the Colts made, that the Colts pushed through.
So now everybody throws for 5,000 fucking yards.
I would allow cornerbacks to cover, you know, to cover receivers.
You know?
Patriots got away with one.
I don't think they were both bad calls, but one of them was, you know?
Another thing, yeah.
We got, I mean, both those calls could have been pass interference, and we got
away with
them.
You know?
We just fucking didn't take advantage of the shit, you know?
Calls were going our way.
Oh, Jesus.
Anyways.
I was actually standing out on the balcony drinking a fucking beer going, I
think they're
going to win.
I got a good feeling.
You know?
They can come out.
They score a fucking touchdown.
Every time I poked my head in, you know?
She was sitting there like a virgin who got fucked 90 years ago.
Whatever the fuck she was singing, everybody was all dressed in this stupid,
ugh.
Whatever.
You know something?
I don't give a fuck if you think this podcast sucks.
You want your fucking team lose the Super Bowl.
Have your fucking heart ripped out.
And then you go talk for an hour in the goddamn podcast.
By the way, what was that Tom Brady photo shoot?
Who was the non-football person that they brought in for the photo shoots this
year?
You know, they had the offensive lineman doing that 1960s football card pose.
Even the Eli one where he brought the thing back, you could see it in his eyes.
Like, what am I doing here?
I usually just stand here and you take my picture.
And then, I don't know, Tom Brady, he went for it.
I think he's been hanging out with Giselle a little too long.
He did a whole photo shoot thing.
Hey, I'm doing the pouty face with my fist on my chin.
And now I'm doing what looks like I'm jerking off.
And then I don't know what he did.
He did the Charleston.
I don't know what he did.
It's the Super Bowl.
We need it to be super.
Let's do some photo shoots.
Let's bring in Madonna.
Somebody make some dip.
Do you know why it's like the Super Bowl really is like,
you know those bug lights to attract mosquitoes?
The Super Bowl is just for non-sports fan douchebags.
It really is.
It's because it's the only sport where it's all, you know, one game, all the
marbles, that's it.
Okay?
You play for an NBA championship, it's best four out of seven.
MLB, best four out of seven.
Stanley Cup, best four out of seven.
Okay?
So, you got to be a real fan to stick it out for at least four or five fucking
games.
You know?
Super Bowl, all you got to do is just show up.
And everybody shuts up during the fucking commercials.
And then they run their goddamn miles.
But I actually went to a good Super Bowl party.
But anyways, that's not what I'm here to talk about, people.
Okay?
Better team won.
I'm going to put it in the past.
And I am not going to discuss it at all during this next advertising.
Speed.
All right, Bill.
Game face on.
Game face.
All right?
Make the plays.
Unlike your team.
Okay?