Name: Bill Burr - Where Do Eggs Come From
Uploaded: 2012-02-13T20:41:34.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Where Do Eggs Come From' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2012-02-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Where Do Eggs Come From' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2012-02-13. Transcript available.

Um, follow up from October, uh, where do eggs come from?
Where do eggs come out of?
Oh yeah, I asked that.
I asked, does it come out of their ass?
Do they have a little chicken pussy?
Uh, a little chicken, uh, vagina.
Billy Boy, just listened to the podcast from October and you sort of asked
where eggs come
out of a chicken.
He says, I don't fuck chickens, but well, okay.
Yeah, I do know where they come out of.
I know for a fact that the egg comes out of the hole that poop also comes out
of.
It's called the vent.
Bam, educated.
You're welcome.
Ah, that's disgusting.
Well, no wonder that egg has a shell on it, huh?
So that's okay.
I can still eat eggs and not worry that I'm eating egg shit, right?
Because it's in that little, uh, that little morgue capsule.
It's called the vent.
Why doesn't a fucking, uh, uh, a chicken have a pussy?
Is that because it's so small?
Is that what it is?
Is it like, you know, when you get a car and there's, you know, you get the
compact so there's
not enough room for the radio so they turn it sideways like in the Chevy Citation?
Is that what it is?
So they had to combine the asshole and the, the birth canal L at the same time?
So every chicken takes it in the ass?
Is that what you're telling me?
Where does the rooster jizz know where to go?
I didn't get pregnant again.
It went up the shitter rather than up the vent.
Does a rooster have to bang a chicken at a certain angle to make sure it goes
up the vent?
That doesn't make any fucking sense.
Is there a farmer out there that could show me a, uh, send me a, a diagram?
It's got a, it's got a split at some point, doesn't it?
There can't be some egg grown in your ass and you're also trying to take a
chicken dump.
You'd be constantly constipated.
You know, and when, when chickens lay eggs, it's not like there's a bunch of
shit all over
it.
See, sir, this is what, this is the great thing about life is you ask, you
answer a question
and it just introduces all these others.
Now I realize, you know, it's like that little thing, like with each book I
read, I realize
there's so much less that I know.
See that?
So now, now I, I have a, I have a hundred more questions and you know what?
You decided to reopen this Pandora's box.
Now I need some followup.
I got any farmers out there, huh?
Anybody else can tell me it's got to split off like one of those T splits.
It's like when you, you know, you and a friend listen to the same iPod.
Eggs in one, shit in the other.
That's like a game show.
It's time to play, put your hand, no, put your face under the chicken vent.
What do you think it's going to be?
Roll the dice.
Is it going to be an egg or is there going to be some chicken shit?
That's disgusting, Bill.
Well, go fuck yourself.
I had to work with what I had there.