Name: Bill Burr & Guest Michael Rapaport - Springsteen & Talking Loud
Uploaded: 2012-12-10T11:07:35.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Guest Michael Rapaport - Springsteen & Talking Loud' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2012-12-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Guest Michael Rapaport - Springsteen & Talking Loud' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2012-12-10. Transcript available.

So today, right, we saw Bruce Springsteen, by the way, the other night down in
Anaheim.
Oh, I thought you saw him around here.
No, no, no, no, no, sorry.
That's cool.
Yeah, and I had never seen him, and I was one of those guys going,
dude, I don't get it all he does is sing about Jersey.
But, like, so many people I know who work borderline.
Did he do his southern accent?
No.
Because he's from Jersey, but he does a southern accent sometimes, which is
weird to me.
He didn't do that.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
Uh-uh.
I'm just, you know, he does, like, a southern accent, but he's from Jersey.
Oh, yeah.
He's the common man.
Yeah, you're the common man, but you're from Jersey.
Yeah.
Go ahead, go ahead.
I don't want to shit on Bruce.
He went, and I was down there like, all right, man, you know, all right.
I was going to say Born to be Wild, Born to Run or whatever.
I'll listen to this shit.
Dude, I got to tell you something, man.
The fact that I ever think that I gave a performance after seeing what that guy
did.
Dude, four songs in, I'm already blown away.
He's blowing away bands that are in their 20s and 30s that I've seen.
Just fucking killing it.
His voice sounds unreal.
Goes out to the middle of the crowd.
He's standing on this stage out there.
People are going fucking nuts.
And then he just lays back into the crowd and crowd surfs like 70 rows.
That's cool.
Up to the, as the band keeps playing.
That's crazy.
And right as he gets onto the stage, boom, they go right into the closing verse.
Dude, that's encore.
That's, you know, that's somebody closing out a great concert.
That was his fourth song.
That's crazy.
And it didn't peak there.
It just kept going.
He wore me out, dude.
I was sitting down.
How long did he go for?
Three and a half hours of that energy.
Yeah, that's crazy.
He is no joke, dude.
It was sick.
And the thing about that that I love so much is that he doesn't have to do
three and a half hours.
He loves to perform.
Totally.
You totally get your money's worth.
Like that.
He was like.
Whether you like it or not.
Like Bruce.
I got just like longer than Schindler's List.
What the fuck, Bruce?
I got to go, man.
I got to take my dog out to take a shit.
You know what I mean?
Dude, every time.
Like I was.
I'm so old.
Like my back's killing me and shit.
And they do that shit where they have like.
They hit the final note of the song.
And Weinberg's doing the simple wash.
And they're playing a chord.
And you think he's going to be like.
Thanks a lot, Anaheim.
You were great.
And he always just goes.
One, two, three, four.
And they go into them.
I'm like, oh my God.
That's crazy.
Like you just kept thinking that this guy couldn't get.
Dude, and it's fucking Anaheim.
Yeah.
One of the cheesiest like.
Just like.
He said it, not me.
That's Bill talking about Anaheim.
Dude, it doesn't even look real.
Right.
I think back in the day when they had like all the orange groves and stuff.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It could have been some sort of personality.
It's just one fucking strip mall after another.
Right.
It looks like a giant like.
It's Disneyland down there, right?
Anaheim?
Yeah.
Like there's no.
There isn't that feeling of.
Any sort of culture.
Right.
Either way.
Right.
And he's down there acting.
Performing like he's in giant stadiums.
That's cool.
Yeah.
I respect that.
I mean, that's.
Yeah.
So anyway.
So today.
That fucking Born to Run song.
Which I never.
Never was into.
So I'm up in the bathroom.
And I'm singing it.
But I'm doing different lyrics.
And I'm singing to Nia.
And it's all vulgar.
And I did all.
Were you born to come?
No, no, no.
I was just saying how.
Born to.
I was starting off saying.
I was just singing about what a great guy I was.
And that Nia doesn't appreciate it.
And all the shit that I do.
But in the cadence of Born to Run.
Yeah.
And then somehow there was something about banging you in the ass.
Just.
It was really.
It was really.
That's cool.
It was really vulgar.
That's cool.
And then it goes.
Like banging your ass.
Like maybe.
Hey.
Like you know.
I don't need a Christmas gift.
I'll bang you in the ass.
She'll never let me do that.
Baby we can do.
No.
But she'll never let me do that.
Yeah.
So I was singing that.
You got to ask.
And I got all the way to the.
Loud as fucking hell.
So I walk out of the bathroom.
I didn't realize my bedroom window was open.
I go.
Hey Nia.
I go.
Did you like that Bruce Springsteen impression?
And before she could answer.
I heard somebody.
Just in a talking voice.
Goes.
No.
Oh.
And I was like.
Oh shit.
It was your neighbor?
Yeah.
And I started thinking like.
Holy fuck.
How much have they been hearing?
How loud am I?
And then Nia.
I kept wanting Nia to make me feel better.
But she just goes.
You know.
You're loud.
Yeah.
You're.
There's times I pull up in the car.
And I hear you on the phone.
And it's making me like.
Really like self-conscious.
Like fuck.
I'm that loud.
And I felt bad until you fucking come.
And I'm like.
You come.
And I.
And I.
You hit the buzzer.
And I pick it up.
I'm like hello.
And you start screaming.
Derek Jeter.
That's right.
Like loud as fuck.
And I'm like.
That's right.
Maybe it's just an East Coast.
Well.
As far as upstanding citizens.
And loudness.
I've come to terms with the fact.
That my neighbors.
Know everything about me.
If they wanted to like.
You know.
Start a scandal on me.
Or you know.
They know.
My whole life.
Because.
Yeah.
I.
I got this buddy of mine.
Becky's big giant Yankee fence.
We have these.
Paul Verzi.
We have these epic fucking.
Arguments.
About sports.
Where I'm just like.
I got him on speakerphone.
And I'm yelling like we're in a crowded bar.
I can't imagine.
I feel bad for my neighbors.
And what they've heard.
I know they've heard me doing insane.
Dude.
My neighbors on this side.
Have kids and the stuff.
That I say cunt all the time.
It's just like.
She doesn't give me dirty looks.
So.
But I look at it like she has a toddler.
And I can never hear her kid.
Well.
If you never hear the little snotty nose.
Loud mouth kids screaming and crying.
She probably never hears.
You should ask her.
See.
That's what I need.
You ever hear me.
You ever hear me say.
Cunt.
Or fuck you.
Or.
Because I don't want to offend your kids.
And you should just ask her.
I don't know.
I think that would get.
It'd get weird.
But whatever.
You have to be mean to say.
Yo.
I still.
You know just in general you become immune to humiliation when you get into
this.
Like every audition you go into.
And you eat your balls after a while.
You just don't feel it anymore.
Yeah.
This is business.
But that I literally got.
That made me feel.
I felt.
I was embarrassed.
I was like.
Wow.
She heard all of that.
And like just the.
The way she said no to.
Right.
Was this was not the first time she heard my loud voice.
She's.
Yeah.
She's just an.
You just open the window up for her.
The open the window literally for her to get involved with the conversation.
And I was fantasizing about all these.
Cool comebacks that I wish I said.
But in the end I just had to realize like.
You know what.
She was right.
Yeah.
She was right.
She was right.
Yeah.
I.
I'm.
I've come to terms with it.
I got a loud speaking voice.
But I'm in my house.
I'm not bringing it down.
So you hear what you hear.
And that's it.
But I turn music up.
I got a pool.
And I turn the fountains on when I'm there.
But it's not.
It's not like.
It's not our fault that fucking houses are two feet.
Like I could literally take a running leap out my.
If I could leap through my bedroom window.
And I could land on the roof of the house next door.
Right.
I know we're on top of each other.
Not the house.
I mean slam it to the side.
But you know what I mean.
You'd be there.
I would be there.
I would definitely be there.