Name: Bill Burr - Transvestite Faceplant
Uploaded: 2013-01-08T16:19:41.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Transvestite Faceplant' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-01-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Transvestite Faceplant' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-01-08. Transcript available.

You know, I saw a transvestite do a fucking faceplant this week, and it's
coming out of a donut shop.
First of all, in L.A., there's donut shops.
I swear to God, there's like 19 chains of donut shops out here.
They're on like every other block.
I don't get it.
Everybody out here that I know is in this business, and you're trying to stay
remotely in shape,
so you limit your fucking Twitter bashing, the level that you get bashed on
Twitter.
I don't know who's eating all the fucking donuts.
This is who has eaten all the donuts, but they're everywhere.
So I'm fucking cutting down.
Oh, no, I was on Fountain Ave.
I really shouldn't give this street up, but Fountain Ave is the one for you
tourists out here
when you want to go east to west or west to east, and it's during rush hour.
Don't take fucking sunset.
Don't take Santa Monica.
You take Fountain.
It's right in the middle.
But on one of those strips there, there's this place, Yum Yum Donuts, I believe
is what it's called.
Or is that Santa Monica?
I can't remember.
So anyways, it's a fucking donut shop, and they got this stupid little, like,
you know, like those chains?
You know, like they put, like, poles down, and then they tie a chain to it,
those little things,
and it kind of droops down and goes over.
So this fucking dude, woman, right, was stepping over it, and he had a thing of
donuts, and just fell down on the ground.
Now, normally I would laugh.
A guy in a dress fell face first with a fucking handful of donuts.
I mean, that's pretty much, you're going right down the checklist of a home run
when it comes to comedy.
But the dude fell so effeminately, I felt bad.
Like, the gentleman in me was like, oh, that lady guy, the lady just fell.
And the way the dude put his hand up, it was just, it ended up just being
really sad, you know?
But I pride myself, I'll pat myself on the back here, me and my ego,
that I resisted the urge of taking out my phone and filming it, you know?
I don't like that shit now, how every fucking moment becomes this, I don't know
what to call it.
I don't like how humiliation never ends now.
You know, these poor kids coming up, it's just like somebody gets kicked in the
balls,
they get shot with a fucking BB gun in his dick.
Somebody films it, OMG, epic fail, dick BB fucking video,
and then it's just on the internet forever.
And the guy's 35 years old, he's got a drinking problem,
and he's looking at this girl, he feels sparks for the first time in years.
He goes to talk to her and right as things are going good,
somebody yells at, hey, that fucking epic fail, dick BB guy, hey, hey, hey.
She's like, oh my God, is that you?
I remember that.
Didn't a chunk of your helmet get taken off?
What the fuck, right?
It just never, no, humiliation never ends.
Never fucking ends.
I don't even know what I'm talking about this week.