Name: Bill Burr - Advice: Fiancée's Ex
Uploaded: 2013-01-30T15:02:14.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Advice: Fiancée's Ex' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-01-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Advice: Fiancée's Ex' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-01-30. Transcript available.

Fiance's ex. Hey, Bill, I really appreciate the show. It keeps me sane in the
cubicle farm.
Well, God bless you for fucking fighting the good fight out there.
Now to the meat of the email. Look at this guy.
He thanks me in like a sentence and a half, and he gets right to it.
This is how you do it, people. This is textbook.
He goes, my fiance, who I love dearly, has an ex-boyfriend she maintains a
friendship with.
Fucking drop this bitch right now.
Sorry. Knee-jerk reaction. Continuing.
Listening without prejudice.
I am of the mindset that men and women cannot maintain that kind of
relationship.
Thank you. Preach on.
Especially if there was some kind of dating involved in the past.
I am not comfortable with this guy, and I am struggling with this shit.
Should I straight out tell the cunt I don't like him being around, or do I take
the more painful approach and pretend everything's cool?
One other quick question.
I have to make a run to New Mexico soon.
I wanted to snag the name of that Italian place you were talking about on the
podcast or so back.
Ah, fuck.
You know what?
It's right next to a Hilton Garden Inn.
And it begins with a B.
Like, bueno, buena, something like that.
Come on.
Somebody in New Mexico help this guy out.
And send it to me, and I'll read it next week.
I'll figure it out by next week.
All right?
That's a promise.
But anyways.
Yeah, dude, you gotta, you gotta, you gotta, this is, this is not cool at all.
It's not cool at all.
All right?
That's not cool at all.
Guys, do not continue being friends with women.
I think women maybe can do it, but guys can't do it.
He's trying to, he's trying to fucking, he's gonna try to bang her.
Dude, that's fucked.
This is your fiancee.
You can't fucking have that.
You can't have that.
You know?
And, uh, this is what you gotta do.
You gotta tell her that, and when she gets mad, and she gets upset,
what, you know, trust me, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
You have to sit there and totally maintain your cool.
Do not take the bait.
If she starts calling you names, if she's a name caller and all that, do not
get upset.
Just say, like, that shit I did in my act.
We will discuss this later when you calm down.
I don't want to argue about this.
Um, I don't think it's fair, the position you're putting me in.
And, um, I would never do that to you.
I would never hang out with an ex-girlfriend of mine.
All right?
I don't think that that's cool.
So I would appreciate it if you would not do that anymore.
And if she continues to do it, then, um, I would marry somebody else personally.
You know?
I'm not cool with that in my relationship.
I've had to deal with that.
You know?
I've had to deal with that a couple of times.
Well, you know, it's just kind of, you know, he took an acting class.
No.
No.
I'd literally have to explain.
Do you think he's?
Yes.
Yes, he is.
He is trying to.
He is trying to.
Yes.
Exactly.
You know?
Or maybe he's hoping that you have hot friends that he can try and fuck by, you
know, being the guy who hangs out with the chicks.
You know?
Maybe he's trying to do that.
But he's trying to fuck something.
And if you're the only thing around, he's going to try and fuck you.
So, no, it's not cool.
Okay.