Name: Bill Burr - Cardinal Keith O'Brien
Uploaded: 2013-03-05T12:36:39.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Cardinal Keith O'Brien' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-03-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Cardinal Keith O'Brien' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-03-05. Transcript available.

And battled Scottish Cardinal O'Brien, Cardinal O'Brien apologizes for my
sexual conduct.
You know, I'm getting sick of people apologizing for shit and they dance around.
This guy basically, to use my new word, he buggered some kids.
All right.
He took out his holy cock oleo and stuck it in their fucking, uh, uh, uh, what
the fuck was Jesus born in?
A shed?
What do they always call it?
You know, it are always around Christmas.
I remember what it's called.
What was he?
He was born in a barn, but they give it some biblical.
What's the name for a biblical barn?
I don't give a fuck.
Anyways, it says a Scottish Cardinal who had earlier, earlier challenged
allegations of his sexual impropriety claims that once again, claims that once
again, shined an international spotlight on the alleged alleged sexual abuse,
involving involving Roman Catholic clergy reverse course Sunday.
And the guy apologized.
This is how he apologizes for basic.
He said, I, for as far as I can tell, fucking children in the ass.
He said, I wish to take this opportunity to admit that there have been times
that my sexual conduct has fallen below the standards expected of me as a
priest, archbishop, and cardinal.
In recent days, certain allegations which have been made against me have become
public.
Initially, their anonymous and nonspecific nature led me to contest them.
To those I have offended, I apologize and ask forgiveness.
To those I've offended, you know, I've been lucky enough in my life to have
never been unwantedly fucking banged in the ass by a fucking priest.
But I don't, I think I can be empathetic enough and say that if this was
happening, at no point would I be turning around going, you know, that's what
you're doing is really offensive.
I find this, you know, what the fuck?
When you apologize, you should have to say what the fuck you did.
And if you're going to talk like this, there should be somebody obnoxiously
yelling off the mic like what you did.
Like during this apology, you should have been like, I wish to take this
opportunity to admit that there have been times that my sexual conduct has
fallen below the standards expected of me as a priest.
Yeah, and as a fucking human being, you're not supposed to fuck kids.
In recent days, certain allegations, fucking of children, which have been made
against me have become public.
About fucking time.
Initially, their anonymous and non-specific nature led me to contest them.
How many different ways do we got to explain it?
You took your fucking dick, you put it in their ass.
You get the point.
Good Lord, to those I have offended, to those you raped, you're a fucking rapist.
I like how, like, he tries to tie in the fact that he's a priest.
Like, below the standards expected of me as a priest, archbishop, and cardinal.
So, like, what, if you were a pope, that was okay?
Or is it because you never became a pope?
So this guy's basically been diddling kids ever since he got into that fucking
harass.
How is that thing still in business?
It's just fucking beyond me.