Name: Bill Burr - Email: Fat Person Saying "Thank You"
Uploaded: 2013-07-16T01:49:31.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Email: Fat Person Saying "Thank You"' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-07-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Email: Fat Person Saying "Thank You"' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-07-16. Transcript available.

All right. A fat person saying, thank you. Look at me. I'm, I'm, I'm inspiring
the fatties.
Um, dear bill, dear Billy Aaron Burr. I've been fat or obese most of my life.
And I want to thank you for shaming me into losing weight and getting into
shape.
You see that shame works. Most people might get offended when you talk about fatties
and
gluttonous people, but I took your criticism and jokes to heart and went from 430
to 220. Wait a
minute. Look at this. He did it in a little under 18 months and he goes, I'm
not done yet. I'm almost
40 years old. And my goal now is to get to 180 pounds, which I haven't been
since I was in the
seventh grade, but I will settle for a little less than 200 pounds. Dude, do
you understand that you
basically just saved your fucking life? If you're 40 years old and you're 430
pounds, you're not long
for this earth. Okay. And the greatest example, when was the last time you saw
a 430 pounds,
70 year old? How about a 60 year old? How about a 50 year old? Have you seen
even like a 50 year
old, you know, you just, you can't, you can't do it. You just can't fucking do
it. So good for you,
man. Um, and you know, anybody else who's fat, when I do these fat jokes, I'm,
I'm rooting for you,
man. I try to make everything fun. I make fun of myself for going bald, being a
redheaded
cunt. All right. Don't take it. I want you to lose. All right. Good for you,
dude. That's insane.
That's what 210 pounds. He lost a cornerback. That's unbelievable. Uh, I am
almost 40 years old
now. And my goal. Oh, I got, I read that part. He goes, I feel like a new man,
but what I'm most,
I'm most happy about is how much my dick is growing. Wow. All right. This just
took a fucking
left turn. He goes, because of all of the blubber I had, I had, because of all
the blubber, I had no
idea, but it looks like I had, I have at least an eight inch cock. And that
makes me a lot more
confident about myself. Well, dude, how long have you been fat? You must've
been fat before puberty.
Cause you said you were, you, you were 180 pounds in seventh grade. Ah, dude,
you were that kid,
right? They're playing shirts and skins and you're sitting there praying,
praying to God. They don't
get you for skins. Ah, man, that's fucking brutal. Good for you. Look at him.
After all these years,
he found his dick. That's tremendous. Um, he goes, I know it's going to be hard,
but, uh, I work out
at least two hours each day and five days each week. Thanks for being a jerk
off. Some people need
tough love. I owe it all to you. Ah, I don't know, man. Oh, I, I, I got you
going, but you fucking did
it. You work out five, two hours each day, five days a week. Look at this comes
full circle. Now
you're, uh, you're inspiring me. I was going to take today off cause I flew on
a plane, be a big
pussy. Ooh, I flew across the country. I can't go walk around the block. Um,
good for you, man.
That's fucking awesome. All right. Now, now that you're actually going to live
past 50, do me a
favor. Speaking of 50, don't drive 50 in the fucking left lane. All right. If
you're making a left and
the light turns green, get out into the intersection. So not only the guy
behind you, but the guy behind
him, we can all fucking make it. All right. Other than that, go back to eating
Sundays cause we can't
use you. I'm kidding. Don't do it.