Name: Bill Burr - Email: Only Ginger I'd Do
Uploaded: 2013-07-29T12:40:14.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Email: Only Ginger I'd Do' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-07-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Email: Only Ginger I'd Do' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-07-29. Transcript available.

Bill, this is from New Zealand, I believe.
This is great. This says,
You're the only ginger I do.
Hey, Bill, I'm a 31-year-old girl from New Zealand.
Hey, say what's up to Phil Rudd for me, will you?
Anyways, I stumbled across you on YouTube a while ago
and I began listening to you in the car.
I like to drive along cracking up like a nutcase over the shit you say
while other drivers look at me and wonder why I'm stoned.
Well, this is why I do the podcast and also to hype my kids.
She says, I got my husband and kids hooked on you too.
No need to pay me for the publicity.
Well, I hope they're not listening considering you just told,
you said you'd fuck me.
I'm sure you're just joking, right?
There you go.
Just in case you're getting fucking,
in case your husband plays for the All Blacks, you know,
just gave you a fucking soccer knee to the face.
Or is that rugby?
Are they rugby?
I don't know.
I also want to share with you the fact that you are the only
Fanta pants?
I never heard that.
I have ever wanted to bang.
So feel special.
Sweetheart, do you realize how fucking condescending this is?
You know?
As you sit out there on that fucking island in the middle of goddamn nowhere,
on the half of the planet that doesn't do shit?
On the other hemisphere?
When was the last time anybody from that hemisphere did anything?
Jesus, how many people am I pissing off right now?
This has nothing to do with that hemisphere.
It has to do with this, like I should feel fucking...
Why are you acting like I put out a personal ad and said no one ever fucked me
before?
So feel special.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
I don't understand this new...
It's happened since I started doing this podcast where all these like...
This red...
I don't know if it was underground hatred of redheads or everybody watched that
South Park
episode.
You're a bunch of hacks and you're fucking stealing off of their jokes.
But I've had a tremendous fucking life.
It's really...
I never...
You know?
I guess when I was younger, when I had orange hair, you know?
I felt like a fucking freak.
And I took the beatdowns.
Yeah, but once you're an adult, I mean, what the fuck?
Sweetheart, I don't need sympathy pussy from half a fucking world away.
All right?
Go fuck yourself.
I should feel privileged.
I don't even know what the fuck you look like.
Do you know what kills me too about this fucking redhead hatred shit?
The amount of fucking people that come up to me and I'm...
I'm not even a good looking guy.
I'm better looking than they are.
I'm in better...
I have a fat fuck, man-titted, brown-haired dude coming up to me, giving me
shit about having
fucking red hair.
It's like, dude, have you looked at yourself?
How many fucking mirrors do you need to look at yourself, you tub of shit?
Look at your fucking nose.
You know?
Fucking shark fin in the middle of your goddamn face.
I got a great nose.
I have a nice jaw.
I have beautiful blue eyes.
I like myself.
That's all I need.
All right, lady?
I don't need to go to New Zealand to get some fucking on-the-side married pussy.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Anyways.
I had to stop reading that.
Yeah, that's another thing, too.
I've had to say to me, like, you're good looking for a redhead.
And I just want to say, like, you know what?
You're not that good looking for a person.
Yeah, I'm fine with how I fucking look.
So, you guys, you don't need to have sympathy.
I don't need...
I'm fucking doing great.
All right?
Thank you.
Thank you for the...
Trying to cheer me up with bestowing your sacred pussy on me from the other
hemisphere.
That's unreal.
She lives in a country Australia makes fun of.
Okay?
She should be happy if a fucking warthog climbs up her goddamn stairs.
They have warthogs out there?