Name: Bill Burr - Email: Full Moon
Uploaded: 2013-08-27T07:21:18.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Email: Full Moon' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-08-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Email: Full Moon' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-08-27. Transcript available.

Full moon. Mr. Burr, you mentioned something about the full moon in last week's
podcast and how it causes strange behavior.
I worked in an emergency room for three to five years, and when I started
working there, I thought the theory was bullshit.
He actually said bull. I don't want to make this guy sound crass.
He goes, I now know it to be true.
Every month during the week of the full moon, we get a surge of patients other
than the plethora of fatties that clog our department.
He spelled it pluthera. We get weirdos.
Example, a one-legged schizophrenic man with a suitcase of knives and a butane
torch.
I don't even know why.
Other than the weirdos, though, we have a lot of really sick patients come in.
There are more strokes, heart attacks, and other serious health-related issues.
I've recently heard a theory on why this is from another health care
professional.
Well, thank God you went in this direction, buddy, because I thought for half a
fucking second you were going to put this in my lap.
All right, because I have no clue about any of this shit.
All right, what do we got here?
He goes, I, too, take a lot of what I hear as fact.
All right, the theory is this.
Even our blood has its own tide.
Jesus Christ.
Why don't I read up on science?
This is, like, better than any fucking movie.
Just the truth.
What do you mean it has its own tide?
When it goes out, is that when I get lightheaded?
Is that what you're talking about?
He goes, this may be minuscule.
I love that you're spelling all these words wrong and you fucking work in an
emergency room.
But the lunar pole on our bloodstream can cause a person with health-slash-heart
problems to be at a higher risk for strokes-slash-heart attack.
It can also cause behavioral changes because of the change in our bodily
function, in our body function.
Whether this is true or not, I cannot deny three and a half years of dealing
with hell every week the full moon appears.
Thanks for the free entertainment and the laughs.
So that's really interesting.
So, like, if that's true, so when there's a full moon, that's like when society's,
like, menstruating?
That's our once a month?
Like, everybody just acts like a fucking maniac?
A one-legged schizophrenic with a suitcase full of knives and a butane torch.
Jesus Christ.
Doesn't that sound, that sounds like, what the fuck was that movie Mickey Rourke
was in that looked like a cartoon, but it wasn't?
Jessica Alba had the chaps on.
She was a stripper, but she still looked like you could have her as a
girlfriend.
And then there was that guy with the yellow head and the red eyes.
For some reason, remind me of the guy who played Beretta.
Do you know I saw him when I was out here?
I saw Robert Blake.
That's a hell of a thing, running into a guy who fucking killed somebody.
Or did he get off?
I don't know, he fucking did it.
Jesus Christ, you go into a Spaghetti Freddy's, you know, you go to take a piss
and all of a sudden your girlfriend's shot in the head.
And nobody saw anything.
And you found her?
Come on.
Come on, Beretta, for reals.
Come on.