Name: Bill Burr - Wild Boar Hunting
Uploaded: 2013-09-10T15:05:42.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Wild Boar Hunting' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-09-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Wild Boar Hunting' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-09-10. Transcript available.

I got a ton of shit last week by saying a pork shoulder was actually the ass of
the pig.
I guess it actually is the shoulder.
I guess a Christmas ham is the ass.
Or you can eat it on Thanksgiving.
Just a ham is the ass of the pig.
So this guy says, Bill, I love your podcast.
I'm a former butcher.
And I wanted to correct you on your smoked shoulder comment on yesterday's
podcast.
A pork shoulder is the front shoulder on a pig.
The confusing part is they are also called pork butts.
It's not the butt.
The butt of the pig is the ham.
Hope this helps.
Blah, blah, blah.
Well, you know what?
Can you write back?
Why do they call it a butt then?
I have no idea.
Why do they call it that?
All I know is it's fucking delicious.
As is the ass of the pig.
I eat the whole fucking pig.
Wherever the fuck the bacon is.
You know, do they have classes like that?
Do they have a class that teaches you how to butcher an animal?
In case, you know, whenever the dollar collapses and I'm out there.
I mean, I know how to shoot a bow and arrow now.
I know how to fucking gut a fish pretty well.
But I'd like to know how to fucking shoot a wild pig.
Hey, fuck this.
I'm on the Billy Red State tour, people.
I'm coming out to El Paso.
I'm coming out to San Antonio.
If anybody out there goes wild boar hunting, I want to do that shit.
I want to do it.
But I don't want to fucking kill one just for the sake of killing it.
All right?
I want to fucking kill it.
Clean it.
Do the whole fucking thing.
You make me do all of this shit.
I know animal lovers out there probably don't like it.
I'm doing it not to do it all the fucking time.
I want to have that skill.
All right?
Basically, I'm slowly, I want to become MacGyver.
I want to know how to, I already know how to shoot a fish with a bow and arrow,
sort of.
Okay?
I know how to load a gun and shoot it, sort of.
I got some vegetables growing around my house, kind of.
So if I know how to take down a fucking pig and gut that fucking thing,
that's got to translate to a goddamn deer, right?
Sort of the same shit, I would think.
And then all I need to do is get a helicopter license and I'm good to go.
I know how to ride a motorcycle now.
You see what I'm saying?
So you got fucking, if you have a helicopter,
what I love about the helicopter is you just go right up.
You can escape so easily.
It's almost like you literally know how to fly.
We're like, you know, with an airplane, you need that run and start.
You know?
I don't fucking know.
But anyways, if somebody wants to take me wild boar hunting,
I would fucking do that in a second.
I'd go down to L.L. Bean and show up with my brand new,
I'm going hunting shit, looking like fucking,
you know, like those old Vietnam movies when you first get there
and you buckle your chin strap to your helmet
and then all the grizzled veterans tell you not to do it
because the concussive force of the shells is going to blow your fucking head
off.
That type of stuff.
Bill, what are you talking about?
I don't know.
I want to shoot a pig.
Do you know how fucking great that would be?
Take that fucker down.
Wee, wee, wee.
Right?
Take that fucker down.
Clean it.
Bring the fucking meat home and then smoke it on my fucking grill.
How much of a man I would feel.
Like how much cowardice I could fucking push down that I have.
The pussy part of me would really be shut down
and I wouldn't have to listen to those voices in my head.
And for a few minutes I could actually act like I was actually a stud.
Hey, fuck you.
I have my dreams.
You know?
Yeah.