Name: Bill Burr - Email: Crazy Blow Job
Uploaded: 2013-10-15T14:40:43.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Email: Crazy Blow Job' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-10-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Email: Crazy Blow Job' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-10-15. Transcript available.

Crazy blowjob.
Roll out those lazy, crazy, hazy fucking blowjobs.
Had Bill, last night I got laid while Breaking Bad was playing in the
background for my computer.
Okay, well thank Vince Gilligan.
That ain't me.
Now I had a little trouble keeping the guy up during the act,
even though she had the ass I would kill for to see again.
So while she was giving me head, which was awesome by the way,
I look up and what do I see on the TV?
Billy the Freckle Face Cunt shows up in a truck.
This is a true story by the way.
I remember that.
That's when we shot that one in Santa Fe.
We shot that one in Santa Fe when we robbed the train.
I'm not going to say anything else because everybody...
I just started the series.
I must say, I couldn't decide between keep watching the scene because I had to
see you acting before or enjoying the blowjob.
Well, dude, have you ever heard a hit and pause?
This guy's like, fuck it easy.
He loves it.
I thought I loved Breaking Bad.
This guy loves it.
He says, the whole situation was really awkward because I was imagining you
saying stuff like,
dude, why are you watching TV while getting a blowjob?
What are you, a fag?
He goes, I actually started laughing, not thinking about how uncomfortable that
would make her, the poor girl.
Oh, no.
I was struggling to keep it up while hearing you in my head going, this guy's a
fag.
That's my joke, making fun of people who are homophobe, by the way, just to
clarify it before I have to apologize to an overweight blogger on television.
The remote control was not in my reach, so I had to watch the camera
alternating between two redheaded cunts, Heisenberg and old Billy Redface.
Heisenberg's not a redhead, he had a shaved head.
You talking about Jesse Plemons?
I don't fucking know.
He said, anyways, thanks for ruining a great blowjob, you cunt.
I'll see you in Sweden in December.
Hey, my apologies, sir, but you guys, you know, I know that you're way over
there in Sweden, but I would think that you guys have remote,
I know you have remote controls and you have pause buttons.
I've been there.
You know?
That's really weird, sir.
That made me uncomfortable with myself getting a blowjob in Sweden.
Jesus Christ.
It was probably some chick that'd be a fucking 11 over here, and to you guys,
it's just another chick from fucking Stockholm, right?
I always mention that whenever I go over there.
When you're in Stockholm, the city of Stockholm, it's fucking ridiculous.
Not saying there aren't some regular-looking people, but just the percentage of
really good-looking people is, you know,
I felt like a mongoloid when I was over there.
Like, I really need to, like, I should have, like, a hump limping down the
fucking street.
So anyways, dude, shake it off, and I hope that girl didn't hear you laughing
while she was blowing you,
because that could really affect her confidence.
So make sure she knows why you were laughing, all right?
And just say, hey, we're not going to watch TV this time.
And then she'll go to blow you again, and then just the sheer quietness in the
room
is going to make you start thinking about my dumb face again.
You're going to laugh again.
You have an issue, sir.