Name: Bill Burr - Panama
Uploaded: 2013-12-03T00:59:28.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Panama' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-12-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Panama' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-12-03. Transcript available.

Panama. Hey there, Red. Big fan of the podcast. Been listening to it for the
best part of 2013.
You mean for the better part of 2013. And it's really an inspiration and a
relief
that there is angry people who react to shit like I do. You should come down to
Panama.
Oh, Jesus Christ. Well, what month can I go down there where I wouldn't just
fucking
asphyxiate from the heat? You're telling a redhead I should come down to the
goddamn equator?
And do what? Catch malaria? A big part of the population speaks English. We
were a U.S.
colony for a hundred years. I know. I remember that. And then Jimmy Carter.
Didn't he give
you your freedom? Also, the expat, uh, Patriot community is huge. A lot of pasty
old balls
roaming our beaches. Oh, okay. The point is you would have an audience down
here. You would
get, you would get kidnapped down here. It's too hot. Oh, you wouldn't. You
should say,
I think you were trying to say, you wouldn't get kidnapped down here. It's too
hot down here
for that. And thugs don't have the energy. Thanks for the podcast and go fuck
yourself. Um,
well, what is there to do down in Panama? The only thing I know about Panama is
the canal
and how you guys dug it and died. And then we took the credit and then we own
the Panama
canal. That's what it was. And I think Jimmy Carter finally turned it back over
to you guys.
And, um, and then Manuel Noriega. And the only reason why I remember his name
is because of that
Sebastian Bach story that I told you guys. But if you're new to the podcast, I'll
tell it really
quickly when we were having, uh, issues with Manuel Noriega, which if I read up,
I'm sure we put him
in power and everything was cool. And then he wanted to run more of his country.
And then we said he
was a terrorist. That's usually how it goes. All right. That's the dysfunctional
relationship
that we have with just about every country that isn't a first world country. We're
like that guy
who keeps picking the psycho chick, Manuel Noriega, Saddam Hussein. We just
keep picking the wrong person
to stick into power that we can then use as a puppet. I think on our first date
with our next dictator,
we really need to ask what is his relationship with his parents or his parents
divorced. Are they still
together? You know, before we start making the same fucking mistakes again. Um,
anyways, plowing ahead.
The only reason why I remember Manuel Noriega's fucking name is because I went
to this
Aerosmith show, uh, new year's Eve show at the Boston garden and, uh, December
31st, 1989.
I was a convicted drunk driver. I wasn't convicted at that point. Was I, was I
awaiting trial or my
arraignment? I mean, I just admitted guilty. I mean, I blew a fucking one nine.
There really was no case
there. Um, anyways, so I go to the thing and I'm stone sober and skid row is
opening up.
And for some reason, Sebastian Bach decided to talk about world politics to a
bunch of hair metal
moron people like me. And, uh, and this is how he got into it. He was wearing
leather pants. Of course,
it was required. And he said, Hey man, what's up with this man? Well, and he
grabbed his dick and he
goes, suck my fucking burrito man. And there was a pause and everybody cheered
and he, and then he
just said something. I think we should just nuke this guy back to the fucking
stone age, man. And
everybody just goes, everybody cheering. Some reason we thought he just summed
up our fucking
foreign policy perfectly. Uh, but he's Canadian. So it was nice to hear him
sound as fucking ignorant
as an American, you know, Hey, is, uh, my stomach been growling. I just
realized I'm sort of hearing
that in the background, my stomach growling. I got up earlier. I got to do the
podcast. What do you
want from me? Go fuck yourselves. Um, and by the way, I'm kind of shitting on
America here. I'm not
acting as if any other country would handle their position of power any better
than we have. So
fuck you and get off your high horse. All right.