Name: Bill Burr - From Morocco: Improvising
Uploaded: 2013-12-18T04:24:22.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - From Morocco: Improvising' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-12-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - From Morocco: Improvising' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-12-18. Transcript available.

All right, hey Bill, love from Morocco.
Bill, before I start, I just want to let you know that my sister and I attended
your show in London last week.
You did a great job, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
You had the whole crowd, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
But enough with the ass kicking.
Okay, here's a little conspiracy theory for you.
At the end of the show, we had a little argument about your ghost segment.
Yeah, I don't believe in ghosts.
He said, which was fucking hilarious to go through a place that doesn't believe
that you go anywhere when you die.
You know, when I was going through Scandinavia in the Nordic countries, because
I'd be like, usually when I say there's no ghosts, I don't believe in ghosts.
There's someone in the crowd that's like, oh, no, you know, I believe in ghosts.
Yeah, absolutely.
And they were just sitting there in those other countries just like, yeah, yeah,
why the fuck would you believe in ghosts?
That's stupid.
So then he goes, he goes, remember when your bottle fell off the stool?
And the water spilled on stage.
Yeah, I did this whole segment about how I don't believe in ghosts.
And I remember when I went to set down my water bottle, for some reason, the
cushion on the seat, it was sort of doing like the leaning tower of Pisa thing.
So anyways, I finished the ghost bit and I was into some other jokes and all of
a sudden it looks like the bottle tipped over by itself.
One of those great stand up moments where you can't plan it.
It tipped over itself.
And then, uh, and I didn't realize that the crowd is reacting and it was like a
full bottle.
So it's just pouring out, um, got all over the stage and everything.
And then of course I riffed that it was actually a ghost and that it's trying
to electrocute me and all that type of shit.
And, um, and it worked great.
But anyways, he said, my sister think, thinks that was part of your act, the
ghost thing.
And there was no way you could be that good at improv.
I better 50 pounds that it wasn't planned.
Either way, it was beautifully done.
Do you mind settling this for us?
Yeah, no, it was not planned.
Do you realize how cheesy that would be if you planned that?
You know, so not to kill the whole improv thing.
It's really not that difficult to come up with some funny shit when water spills
by itself after you just did a ghost thing.
Um, it isn't, you know, and you don't realize how many times, I mean, you
fucking improv.
Everybody's improv.
When you walk and you're having a conversation, you're totally in the moment
with somebody and you're, you're without realizing it because you understand
language, you're listening and translating.
And you're also, which is reminding you some other shit that you're thinking
about that adds to where the conversation goes.
Um, what it is.
So everybody can do that.
It's just when you get on stage, it's, it's.
You're, you're going on stage, starting your career and you're dealing with
stage fright and forcing yourself to do this thing.
That scares the shit out of you, which causes you to think, which shuts down
all of your improv abilities.
But over the years, as you do it, you get more and more comfortable and you
become as comfortable on stage as you are off stage.
And then once again, you tap back into that power of improv-ing that everyone
in the crowd is already doing.
Um, but for, but it's just not defined as it.
So that's, that's basically what it is.
So no, that was not, that was a, uh, that was not planned.
Um, I actually had another great one that I, when I was doing, uh, another
great moment, I should say.
It's not gonna pat myself on the back.
I had another great, uh, moment of improv when I took the mic stand and
pretended it was a skinny woman.
Um, and just yelled, eat something for an hour.
No, um, I was in Iceland when I walked on stage, they had a fucking giant
Christmas tree just to the right of the stage, all lit up looking beautifully.
But I, I, so I, I went into this stupid thing where I was acting like it was
stealing focus and I was being a diva and I refused to tell any more jokes
until somebody fucking, one of you Reykjavik sons of bitches comes up here and
takes this goddamn tree down.
And I went on this whole long thing and it just happened right at the beginning
of the show.
I just saw it and I just, I don't know.
I just fucking started talking about it and it killed and they loved it.
And then later on in the act, I apologized to the tree.
Like it was, you know, like I was in some abusive relationship with it.
Like, Hey, you know, I'm listen, I'm sorry about what I said earlier.
You know, you know, I feel about you and blah, blah, blah.
And just kind of went on this thing.
Like that's the most fun thing as a comedian was when you get comfortable
enough to do that shit, because I'm not gonna lie to you.
You get sick of telling your jokes.
Um, but anyways, he finishes off.
He says, also, I've been introducing you to my Moroccan friends over the years.
And as soon as I can get 10,000 people to like you, I'll email you so that you,
uh, so you can come visit.
Um, thanks and go fuck yourself.
Well, you know what?
Send a fucking email to, uh, billburnmerch at gmail.com and Andrew will
hopefully get back to me.
Maybe, uh, I can figure out some fucking, uh, I'll send you a, some promotional,
a promotional package of some shit.
I'll send some of my, my wares over there.
And, uh, the only thing you got to do is hand them out to your friends.
Okay.
That's it.
All right.
Um, where the fuck am I?
Oh, there's the ending.
Thanks and go fuck yourself.
All right.
You go fuck yourself too.
All right.