Name: Bill Burr - Burrstock
Uploaded: 2013-12-31T05:31:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Burrstock' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-12-31. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Burrstock' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2013-12-31. Transcript available.

Uh, Burr stock, whatever that means, Bergenstock, um, long time, uh, Billy
Freedom Trail, long
time fan.
I was wondering to myself the other day, how much longer until we get a Bill
Burr event,
some type of festival, an event where you're the ringmaster and master of
ceremonies.
You could host pie eating contests.
I'd make the fucking pies, uh, judge a beauty pageant, actually a pie eating
contest.
They don't really make good pies, do they?
They just sort of bullshit.
You just eat out the filling, um, judge a beauty pageant and cut a ribbon with
a novelty
size pair of scissors.
Dude, if I could judge a pig too, I would do this.
You set it up.
I'll do it.
Vendors will sell turkey legs, cotton candy and fried dough.
Babies will get their faces painted.
Uh, and while you're not hosting an event, you'll be walking around the grounds
in a seersucker
soup.
Dude, I'm fucking in.
You'll probably say something about not many people coming out for it.
That's not true.
A few thousand people would come out.
Uh, Liz Walker will cover it on the six o'clock news.
And the following year, there'll be 10,000 people will fly in from lots of
places.
If they get enough notice, don't bother explaining why this is a bad idea.
Every one of your listeners is adding up their vacation days.
Dude, this is fucking, you know what?
I don't know if I want to host it, but I want to go to it.
I want to go there with his, I want to go to something with his fucking a prized
pig.
That's what people are fighting for.
I would do that in a second, sir.
You set it up.
You set it up and I would change it.
I would bring in, uh, what else would I have?
You need some sort of music.
You know, I bring more in like street performers.
I know a couple of them from back in the day in my, uh, when I was living in
New York.
It was a couple of guys that I knew that were fucking great.
And I actually did a comedy show and I had one of them come down and perform
and, uh, he crushed it.
I'd add that element to it.
So what you do is, this is what you do.
You have a little backwards shit going on.
You do it in the backwards.
So all the backwards people show up.
But then, you know, what about the people who live in the backwards and then,
but they're into shit beyond the backwards.
That's when you bring in the street performers from New York, right?
So people think that even though it's down home, it's also a little dope as the,
the kids used to say that are now older than me.
Um, I would do something like that.
I, any of that shit that's considered fucking, uh, I don't know what it's
considered.
It's looked down upon by a lot of people out here in Hollywood, you know, who
think that, you know, those, that's all fly over state stuff.
And that they're a cut above because they write jokes for four cameras, shoot
sitcoms, um, with wacky next door neighbors.
Um, I like all that shit.
Yeah.
Do it.
Set it up.
You get the ball rolling.
I'll fucking do it.
Throw in some fucking, some sort of car show, a prize pig, right?
There's gotta be some sort of blue ribbon one for a farm animal.
I already know there's like a zillion of these things.
Just tell me where to go.
I want, I want to go to one of these things.
Do I get to shoot a fucking gun?
Yeah.