Name: Bill Burr and Paul Virzi - Sociopaths And Narcissists
Uploaded: 2014-03-04T15:45:44.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr and Paul Virzi - Sociopaths And Narcissists' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-03-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr and Paul Virzi - Sociopaths And Narcissists' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-03-04. Transcript available.

My wife recently diagnosed me with having fucking ADD.
She's told me forever that I have ADD, and I never bought into it.
And she finally went to the website, and she read all the things, dude.
And it was just like they might as well just had a picture of me sitting there,
not listening to somebody focusing on some ant walking across the table
before looking at something else.
Do you have that problem?
I think a lot of myself and a lot of my comedian friends have that.
Yeah, I think it's a problem.
And do you think that that's why we think in bits rather than scripts?
I think it's because I think our minds constantly are going.
Our minds are constantly going, whether it's trying to be creative,
whether it's thinking of this, whether it's being upset.
We're just – we can't concentrate.
I wasn't a good student.
What I would say is that we're no different than anybody else who's scatterbrained,
which is funny scatterbrained.
Maybe.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, maybe.
Because they always try to attribute – like they had something recently
where they tried to say that, you know, they did some study, you know,
nobody knows who the fuck did it, was trying to say that, you know,
they interviewed all these comedians, you know, for this study
to figure out what makes comedians funny.
Now, immediately I'm thinking any comedian worth anything is not going to be
participating in that fucking thing.
Or if they're new and they're struggling, they'll participate and they're going
to give bullshit answers
just to make their friend laugh and themselves laugh.
Right.
So they came up with this whole thing that, you know, comedians are all sociopaths
or some fucking –
Oh, I saw it.
I didn't like it.
That's ridiculous.
It is because I'm not saying there aren't comedians who are sociopaths, but
there's firemen,
there's mothers, there's all kinds of people that are – there's leaders of
the world who are sociopaths.
Sociopaths, it just – what it is is that I think it's people who aren't funny.
Only somebody who's not funny would try to figure out why the fuck something's
funny.
Absolutely.
Like, I wouldn't even know – I wouldn't even – like, when you were talking
about that guy at the Yankee game
who kept yelling out – they had this commercial where it was a bunch of Yankee
fans you were saying
that had spelt out Yankees across their chest.
And they were wrong.
Yeah, and they were hammered or whatever, right?
Or they just were wrong.
They were just like – they were just not organized where it said Yankee, so
it said Anski.
Anski.
So this guy at the game, any time there was a lull in the game would –
Out of nowhere.
What would he do?
Yeah, there would be a lull in the game and he would go, hey, hey, what the
hell is Anski?
And everybody would just start laughing.
Yeah, and he knew when to do it.
Yes.
Like, that guy – he had a – now, that guy was not a comedian, but he had
that comic timing
when there was a lull in the game.
Yeah, he knew.
It wasn't an important time in the game.
He knew probably if there was a TV timeout.
Yep.
You know, and he wanted to keep the excitement going and people's focus.
Like, you just – it's like when I look at people who can, like, just fucking
play an
instrument unbelievably, play it by ear, you know, that's obviously just a
hobby for me.
So I have a tremendous amount of respect for people who can do that shit.
But, like, they could never just break down.
Would you just sit there and be like, no, what makes this guy be able to play
the guitar
like that?
It's just like – it's just – they're good at it.
It's an envious nerd who can't do it.
That's what it is.
It's somebody who wished – maybe they wished they could do comedy.
But the fact that somebody would do a study saying comedians are all sociopaths,
that
person never picked up a microphone once in their life.
And maybe they had an issue with a comedian.
No, I'm not saying that I'm not a sociopath.
But you, you know, you're a family man.
You got two kids.
Listen.
You seem all right.
Listen.
Are you a psycho, Paul?
Comedians might be narcissistic.
Sociopath – I looked up the definition of sociopath.
Okay?
There's like 11 things or something like that that you could have.
Dude, let's look this up right now.
Go it up right now.
Look this up.
One thing I know for a fact, antisocial parents is one of them.
Okay?
Parents who – but, like, I mean antisocial.
The world's out to get you.
No, we're not going over there.
They think this of us.
We're not going over there.
All right.
Check.
Check one for me.
What?
My parents were like that.
Hey, can I go on this field trip?
No, Christ.
I had a patient in the other day.
He went on a field trip and he fell off the bus.
He's gone.
He's gone.
There's nothing you can do about it.
That was one of my first jokes I did in my act.
Whatever you wanted to do, my dad had a patient in the other day and the kid
died from it.
Oh, that's funny.
Yeah, he didn't want to drive us over to do it.
No, my dad – my dad would do it.
Now if I look at it, it's fucking hilarious.
I wouldn't do it either with one kid.
Forget about having fucking – all the ones he had.
Hang on a second.
How to spot a sociopath – wait.
Sociopath – sorry with the bad mic here.
Sociopath traits, which I misspelled.
I misspelled trats.
How do I identify a sociopath?
Telling signs and behavior – oh, what the fuck?
Why won't this work?
Come on, man.
My dad used to say to people, when he disagreed with it, that they were crazy.
Here we go.
Not crazy.
They're crazy.
He's a sociopath.
All right, here we go.
What is a sociopath who gives a fuck?
Common traits.
All right.
The common characteristics and personality traits of sociopaths are based on
the criteria
used by clinicians who use the DSM.
What the – don't they realize morons want to read this?
I don't give a shit.
Just make a list.
Yeah, there should be just a list there.
There should.
Dumb it down, right?
One of the most common personality characteristics of a sociopath is their
grandiose sense of self-entitlement.
Now, I don't have that.
No, no.
I go the other way.
Sociopaths also often display a lack of remorse.
Yep.
And most have a very manipulative personality covered by superficial charm.
Jesus, I know a couple of those.
Dude, I –
I know a couple of these guys.
Me too.
All right.
Now, wait a minute.
So, I'm not –
No, dude.
You're a narcissist who has ADD.
Yeah.
I would be that – yeah.
I would go with that.
That's – yeah.
I would totally go with that.
Yeah, dude.
You don't – dude, that's hitman shit.
That's hitman.
I don't have a – I don't have a sense of self-entitlement.
No, dude.
A hitman blows someone's brains out and goes eat a sandwich.
That's a sociopath.
Yeah, he gets mad that he got blood on his shirt, right?
Yeah.
That was – that thing in Goodfellas when he goes, I'm sorry about your floor.
That's – that's it.
That's what it is.
I didn't want to get blood on the floor.
Kind of fucked up people today.
All right.
Friendships and romantic partners are often frequently disregarded and replaced
when the
relationship no longer suits their self-centered needs.
The emotions of a sociopath – no, but even like the guy I was just thinking
about, about
being a sociopath, he doesn't have that.
Well, I guess, can you have like most of it and then be a sociopath?
What do you think there, Dr. Verzi?
Not Dr. Verzi?
Being talked to by not Dr. Burr?
No, I think – what's it called?
I think that it's the remorse thing and I definitely think it's the first thing
you said, the sense
of entitlement.
This is the cool one here.
Look at this one.
Jesus Christ.
Cool, like in a reptilian scary way.
The emotions of a sociopath may appear to be sincere on the surface, cleverly
disguised
by superficial charm and feigned interest.
Jesus Christ.
That was me in every classroom I ever was in, sitting there acting like you
were interested
so they wouldn't fucking call on you.
Many sociopaths use manipulative measures to draw others to them.
Chronic lying is a characteristic of nearly all sociopaths.
But recklessness and aggressive behaviors are other characteristics as well as
impulsivity.
A lack of remorse – he already said that – or what is generally termed
conscience is typical
for sociopaths.
This guy's repeating himself.
The combination of at least three of the common sociopath characteristics
paints a pretty
good description of the common sociopath.
I don't know.
I actually lost interest halfway fucking through that.
All right.
It's ADD.
I didn't – I wasn't even trying to be funny.
That came out of my mouth and I realized I just did that again.
Well, no, why don't you look up a narcissist?
See the difference?
Because narcissist is a selfishness, but it's almost like a good guy's selfishness.
Yeah, but dude, I'm a Gemini, so I have like – I can be really like – I
mean, I think –
My son's a Gemini.
Lucas is a Gemini.
But I think I'm mainly a narcissist, but then I can be like really considerate
and generous.
Dude, Lucas.
My son Lucas is a Gemini.
He's got – when you look at what a Gemini's traits are, dude, he's every one
of them.
Jesus Christ.
When are you taking out the crystal ball?
All right.
Hang on a second.
I love how I brought up fucking –
What do you mean crystal ball?
I love how I brought up Gemini's and then you start talking about signs and
then I act like you brought it up.
Uh-uh.
All right.
How do you spell narcissist?
Come on, Paul.
Let's show how dumb we are.
N-A-R.
Narciss.
Narcissism.
I would say N-A-R.
Maybe what?
C-A maybe?
I would have gone with that if the right spelling didn't come up.
Narcissistic.
Traits.
Let's go with behaviors.
Narcissistic behaviors.
All right.
Narcissists have remorse.
Do they?
Yeah, I think so.
They feel bad.
They suck.
Oh, here we go.
I found one that's dumbed down.
30 red flags of being a narcissist.
Here we go.
Go ahead.
Go ahead.
Go ahead.
All right.
All right.
You feel on edge around this person, but you still want to – but you still
want them to like you.
What is this?
Wait a second.
Let me – I got to figure what the fuck – who is you in this?
So what's the difference about this list?
Well, for one, it's specifically about relationship, but it's also about you.
Each point requires introspection and self-awareness because if you want to
spot toxic people, you cannot focus entirely on their behavior.
That's only half the battle.
Oh, that's pretty cool.
You must also come to recognize the looming red flags in your own heart.
All right.
So this is saying if you're in a relationship with a narcissist.
Yeah.
They don't have a list?
They don't just have a list?
I have – Paul, I'm trying to make it easy here.
No, no.
I thought they said 30 lists, like 30 things.
Nothing?
Well, maybe we can actually use our brains and just figure this out here.
Okay.
You feel on edge around this person, but you still want them to like you.
Two, uses sex as a tool for control.
Creepo.
That's sick.
Plasters your Facebook page with compliments, flattery, songs, and poems.
They text you dozens, if not hundreds of times per day.
You come to rely on this overcommunication as a source of confidence.
Wow.
Oh, so they give it to you, then they take it away.
You're not texting me 400 times a day.
Did I do something wrong?
Oh, then I'm definitely –
Is that what they're doing?
No, I'm not.
Yeah, I'm not that.
No.
I can't spell enough words to text more than 30 times a day.
All right.
Quickly declares you their soulmate.
I don't do that.
Compares you to everyone else in their life.
You're just like my mother.
Lies.
You remind me of my Uncle Petey.
Lies and excuses.
Lies and excuses.
That's everybody.
No startle response.
You know what the fuck?
Can you just have a one for dumb people?
All right.
Here we go.
Red flag, narcissistic behaviors.
Jesus Christ.
Look at the bitch's fucking picture on this.
Holy shit.
Is this about her or is she going to tell me?
Okay.
Extreme infatuation with oneself.
Self-centered.
Expects to be recognized as superior.
All right.
Now you're getting warmer.
Now you're getting warmer.
Is that you?
Now you're getting warmer.
No, I don't want to be superior.
I mean, you know.
Extreme infatuation with oneself.
Self-centered expects to be recognized.
Just picture somebody combing their mane in the mirror.
Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited power, success, brilliance, beauty,
or ideal love.
Sees himself as special.
Dude, this is fucking hilarious.
And should only have to affiliate.
Oh, shit.
This is funny.
This is a good one.
This is a great one.
Sees himself as special.
And should only have to affiliate with others of the similar stature.
I should be friends with that Obama.
I can't believe he hasn't called me yet.
That's fucking funny, man.
Takes advantage of others to achieve his needs.
Demonstrates.
That's an ugly one.
The other ones are funny.
What's the ugly one?
What's the one?
Takes advantage of others to achieve his needs.
I don't like that one.
That other shit, just staring in the mirror thinking you're the shit.
No, just thinking you should be friends with everybody.
It was big.
Demonstrates a constant need for admiration or approval.
You know, my dad used to be upstairs shaving.
It was sort of a joke, but he wasn't joking, but he was.
It was funny.
We'd be downstairs eating breakfast or something.
We'd be up there getting ready for work, and he'd be shaving in the mirror.
And then when he finished, you'd just hear him.
He'd be like, good-looking son of a bitch.
And my mother would always laugh and shake her head.
But I think that's more she just liked a confident guy or something like that.
I think that sounds kind of like a joke.
Like a happy joke.
That's a joke.
Yeah, yeah.
He's playing.
But he's saying it out loud.
But I do that.
It makes me laugh all the time.
I'll do it.
I'll do that.
That's great.
I'll just be like, God damn it, I'm a good-looking guy.
I'll just do shit like that.
Oh, shut up, right?
Yeah.
There we go.
Everybody's going to text me what a fucking ugly bastard I am.
Like, I don't know that already.
Fuck yourselves.
Demonstrates a constant need for admiration or approval.
Exaggerates personal achievements while minimizing those of others.
That's fucking hilarious.
I want to be around this guy.
I'll tell you, you know, it was great.
It's great the way you came up with the game plan.
I was just going to say something.
The way I was cheering in the crowd.
Oh.
Dude, I got this chant going.
And I tell you, I could see it in Tom Brady's face.
He knew.
He knew by what I was doing in the crowd that.
Yeah.
And then he tries to knock the other guy's chant.
He called an audible, you know, which I wouldn't have done.
I would have stuck with the play.
And then, you know, but then it says he diminishes the other guy.
That's great.
The other guy's chant was all right, but I got more of him going.
Yeah.
And that guy came up to me at the end of the game.
And he said you were great.
I don't usually say this, but you were amazing.
Keep going.
This list is great.
You know why this is?
It's because this reminds me of so many guys I used to hang out with and gamble
with and all that type of shit.
Like, all these guys, like, this is a brutal.
If you're a narcissist and you walk into a fucking casino, it's fucking brutal.
Because you're going to walk in thinking you're James Bond and you have this
system and you're going to take the whole fucking house down.
Yeah.
I got to tell you, there's nothing funnier than that one that you read that
said that they think they're superior.
So they should only be hanging out with people that are superior.
That is so fucking funny.
It's fucking hilarious.
Yeah.
Oh.
All right.
Is convinced that he slash she is unique.
Yeah.
I like how that just suggests that just takes it.
We're all special.
This website's like, no, you're not.
Feels entitled to special treatment and that rules frequently don't apply to
him.
Um, I don't have the first half, but I have the second half.
Oh, yeah.
I have, I have problems with authority.
I definitely do.
I told you that story, right?
Where I didn't.
I told you that fucking story.
Oh, yeah.
I didn't get caught either.
Um, my proposed love and marriage within only a few weeks, might or may propose
love and
marriage with only with within only a few weeks of starting a relationship.
That definitely wasn't me.
Very charismatic or charming at first, but can quickly switch from Dr.
Shackle to Mr.
Hyde.
This fucking lady.
These are all just the same thing over and over again.
Oh, wait.
Panics, cries, begs and becomes emotional if he anticipates an end to a
relationship.
That's not me.
I swear to God, I'll pay attention to you more.
I was wrong.
What do you want me to do?
I love you.
I was wrong.
May harass or stalk you if you do break up.
Oh, because he wants to be the one who breaks up or she quick to anger or feel
insulted
or slighted, rages with anger or inflicts the silent treatment when upset.
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
I got that quick to anger.
I got that.
I wouldn't stalk somebody denies.
He slash she has issues to work to work on.
That's fucking sees himself herself is nearly perfect.
I fucking love this guy.
What are you talking about?
What are you talking about?
That's so funny.
Maybe you ought to work on yourself.
Adapt around me.
Drives recklessly and way too fast.
Exaggerates the truth or blatantly lies.
Dude, I want to be around this guy and just listen to him tell stories.
This is the funniest shit.
Rarely treats anyone with respect or kindness.
Doesn't acknowledge or respect others' boundaries.
Always wants to be in control.
May drink and drive regularly.
Yeah, because he doesn't give a fuck about other people.
His slash her need for attention, time, and space matter.
Oh, his need for time, for attention, time, and space matter.
Yours, your needs do not.
Let me just read one more of these before this gets boring.
Uses sex as a weapon through withholding, controlling, or being overly
demanding.
I said, suck it.
It's the best dick ever.
Doesn't appear to have a conscience.
Does not take criticism well.
And becomes easily defensive.
Is easily hurt and insulted.
Jesus Christ.
That's a fucking hilarious list.
Really funny.
That is funny, though, huh?
Sees himself as fucking superior and should only be hanging around superior
beings.
Yeah.

Bill Burr and Paul Virzi - Sociopaths And Narcissists

My wife recently diagnosed me with having fucking ADD.
She's told me forever that I have ADD, and I never bought into it.
And she finally went to the website, and she read all the things, dude.
And it was just like they might as well just had a picture of me sitting there,
not listening to somebody focusing on some ant walking across the table
before looking at something else.
Do you have that problem?
I think a lot of myself and a lot of my comedian friends have that.
Yeah, I think it's a problem.
And do you think that that's why we think in bits rather than scripts?
I think it's because I think our minds constantly are going.
Our minds are constantly going, whether it's trying to be creative,
whether it's thinking of this, whether it's being upset.
We're just – we can't concentrate.
I wasn't a good student.
What I would say is that we're no different than anybody else who's scatterbrained,
which is funny scatterbrained.
Maybe.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, maybe.
Because they always try to attribute – like they had something recently
where they tried to say that, you know, they did some study, you know,
nobody knows who the fuck did it, was trying to say that, you know,
they interviewed all these comedians, you know, for this study
to figure out what makes comedians funny.
Now, immediately I'm thinking any comedian worth anything is not going to be
participating in that fucking thing.
Or if they're new and they're struggling, they'll participate and they're going
to give bullshit answers
just to make their friend laugh and themselves laugh.
Right.
So they came up with this whole thing that, you know, comedians are all sociopaths
or some fucking –
Oh, I saw it.
I didn't like it.
That's ridiculous.
It is because I'm not saying there aren't comedians who are sociopaths, but
there's firemen,
there's mothers, there's all kinds of people that are – there's leaders of
the world who are sociopaths.
Sociopaths, it just – what it is is that I think it's people who aren't funny.
Only somebody who's not funny would try to figure out why the fuck something's
funny.
Absolutely.
Like, I wouldn't even know – I wouldn't even – like, when you were talking
about that guy at the Yankee game
who kept yelling out – they had this commercial where it was a bunch of Yankee
fans you were saying
that had spelt out Yankees across their chest.
And they were wrong.
Yeah, and they were hammered or whatever, right?
Or they just were wrong.
They were just like – they were just not organized where it said Yankee, so
it said Anski.
Anski.
So this guy at the game, any time there was a lull in the game would –
Out of nowhere.
What would he do?
Yeah, there would be a lull in the game and he would go, hey, hey, what the
hell is Anski?
And everybody would just start laughing.
Yeah, and he knew when to do it.
Yes.
Like, that guy – he had a – now, that guy was not a comedian, but he had
that comic timing
when there was a lull in the game.
Yeah, he knew.
It wasn't an important time in the game.
He knew probably if there was a TV timeout.
Yep.
You know, and he wanted to keep the excitement going and people's focus.
Like, you just – it's like when I look at people who can, like, just fucking
play an
instrument unbelievably, play it by ear, you know, that's obviously just a
hobby for me.
So I have a tremendous amount of respect for people who can do that shit.
But, like, they could never just break down.
Would you just sit there and be like, no, what makes this guy be able to play
the guitar
like that?
It's just like – it's just – they're good at it.
It's an envious nerd who can't do it.
That's what it is.
It's somebody who wished – maybe they wished they could do comedy.
But the fact that somebody would do a study saying comedians are all sociopaths,
that
person never picked up a microphone once in their life.
And maybe they had an issue with a comedian.
No, I'm not saying that I'm not a sociopath.
But you, you know, you're a family man.
You got two kids.
Listen.
You seem all right.
Listen.
Are you a psycho, Paul?
Comedians might be narcissistic.
Sociopath – I looked up the definition of sociopath.
Okay?
There's like 11 things or something like that that you could have.
Dude, let's look this up right now.
Go it up right now.
Look this up.
One thing I know for a fact, antisocial parents is one of them.
Okay?
Parents who – but, like, I mean antisocial.
The world's out to get you.
No, we're not going over there.
They think this of us.
We're not going over there.
All right.
Check.
Check one for me.
What?
My parents were like that.
Hey, can I go on this field trip?
No, Christ.
I had a patient in the other day.
He went on a field trip and he fell off the bus.
He's gone.
He's gone.
There's nothing you can do about it.
That was one of my first jokes I did in my act.
Whatever you wanted to do, my dad had a patient in the other day and the kid
died from it.
Oh, that's funny.
Yeah, he didn't want to drive us over to do it.
No, my dad – my dad would do it.
Now if I look at it, it's fucking hilarious.
I wouldn't do it either with one kid.
Forget about having fucking – all the ones he had.
Hang on a second.
How to spot a sociopath – wait.
Sociopath – sorry with the bad mic here.
Sociopath traits, which I misspelled.
I misspelled trats.
How do I identify a sociopath?
Telling signs and behavior – oh, what the fuck?
Why won't this work?
Come on, man.
My dad used to say to people, when he disagreed with it, that they were crazy.
Here we go.
Not crazy.
They're crazy.
He's a sociopath.
All right, here we go.
What is a sociopath who gives a fuck?
Common traits.
All right.
The common characteristics and personality traits of sociopaths are based on
the criteria
used by clinicians who use the DSM.
What the – don't they realize morons want to read this?
I don't give a shit.
Just make a list.
Yeah, there should be just a list there.
There should.
Dumb it down, right?
One of the most common personality characteristics of a sociopath is their
grandiose sense of self-entitlement.
Now, I don't have that.
No, no.
I go the other way.
Sociopaths also often display a lack of remorse.
Yep.
And most have a very manipulative personality covered by superficial charm.
Jesus, I know a couple of those.
Dude, I –
I know a couple of these guys.
Me too.
All right.
Now, wait a minute.
So, I'm not –
No, dude.
You're a narcissist who has ADD.
Yeah.
I would be that – yeah.
I would go with that.
That's – yeah.
I would totally go with that.
Yeah, dude.
You don't – dude, that's hitman shit.
That's hitman.
I don't have a – I don't have a sense of self-entitlement.
No, dude.
A hitman blows someone's brains out and goes eat a sandwich.
That's a sociopath.
Yeah, he gets mad that he got blood on his shirt, right?
Yeah.
That was – that thing in Goodfellas when he goes, I'm sorry about your floor.
That's – that's it.
That's what it is.
I didn't want to get blood on the floor.
Kind of fucked up people today.
All right.
Friendships and romantic partners are often frequently disregarded and replaced
when the
relationship no longer suits their self-centered needs.
The emotions of a sociopath – no, but even like the guy I was just thinking
about, about
being a sociopath, he doesn't have that.
Well, I guess, can you have like most of it and then be a sociopath?
What do you think there, Dr. Verzi?
Not Dr. Verzi?
Being talked to by not Dr. Burr?
No, I think – what's it called?
I think that it's the remorse thing and I definitely think it's the first thing
you said, the sense
of entitlement.
This is the cool one here.
Look at this one.
Jesus Christ.
Cool, like in a reptilian scary way.
The emotions of a sociopath may appear to be sincere on the surface, cleverly
disguised
by superficial charm and feigned interest.
Jesus Christ.
That was me in every classroom I ever was in, sitting there acting like you
were interested
so they wouldn't fucking call on you.
Many sociopaths use manipulative measures to draw others to them.
Chronic lying is a characteristic of nearly all sociopaths.
But recklessness and aggressive behaviors are other characteristics as well as
impulsivity.
A lack of remorse – he already said that – or what is generally termed
conscience is typical
for sociopaths.
This guy's repeating himself.
The combination of at least three of the common sociopath characteristics
paints a pretty
good description of the common sociopath.
I don't know.
I actually lost interest halfway fucking through that.
All right.
It's ADD.
I didn't – I wasn't even trying to be funny.
That came out of my mouth and I realized I just did that again.
Well, no, why don't you look up a narcissist?
See the difference?
Because narcissist is a selfishness, but it's almost like a good guy's selfishness.
Yeah, but dude, I'm a Gemini, so I have like – I can be really like – I
mean, I think –
My son's a Gemini.
Lucas is a Gemini.
But I think I'm mainly a narcissist, but then I can be like really considerate
and generous.
Dude, Lucas.
My son Lucas is a Gemini.
He's got – when you look at what a Gemini's traits are, dude, he's every one
of them.
Jesus Christ.
When are you taking out the crystal ball?
All right.
Hang on a second.
I love how I brought up fucking –
What do you mean crystal ball?
I love how I brought up Gemini's and then you start talking about signs and
then I act like you brought it up.
Uh-uh.
All right.
How do you spell narcissist?
Come on, Paul.
Let's show how dumb we are.
N-A-R.
Narciss.
Narcissism.
I would say N-A-R.
Maybe what?
C-A maybe?
I would have gone with that if the right spelling didn't come up.
Narcissistic.
Traits.
Let's go with behaviors.
Narcissistic behaviors.
All right.
Narcissists have remorse.
Do they?
Yeah, I think so.
They feel bad.
They suck.
Oh, here we go.
I found one that's dumbed down.
30 red flags of being a narcissist.
Here we go.
Go ahead.
Go ahead.
Go ahead.
All right.
All right.
You feel on edge around this person, but you still want to – but you still
want them to like you.
What is this?
Wait a second.
Let me – I got to figure what the fuck – who is you in this?
So what's the difference about this list?
Well, for one, it's specifically about relationship, but it's also about you.
Each point requires introspection and self-awareness because if you want to
spot toxic people, you cannot focus entirely on their behavior.
That's only half the battle.
Oh, that's pretty cool.
You must also come to recognize the looming red flags in your own heart.
All right.
So this is saying if you're in a relationship with a narcissist.
Yeah.
They don't have a list?
They don't just have a list?
I have – Paul, I'm trying to make it easy here.
No, no.
I thought they said 30 lists, like 30 things.
Nothing?
Well, maybe we can actually use our brains and just figure this out here.
Okay.
You feel on edge around this person, but you still want them to like you.
Two, uses sex as a tool for control.
Creepo.
That's sick.
Plasters your Facebook page with compliments, flattery, songs, and poems.
They text you dozens, if not hundreds of times per day.
You come to rely on this overcommunication as a source of confidence.
Wow.
Oh, so they give it to you, then they take it away.
You're not texting me 400 times a day.
Did I do something wrong?
Oh, then I'm definitely –
Is that what they're doing?
No, I'm not.
Yeah, I'm not that.
No.
I can't spell enough words to text more than 30 times a day.
All right.
Quickly declares you their soulmate.
I don't do that.
Compares you to everyone else in their life.
You're just like my mother.
Lies.
You remind me of my Uncle Petey.
Lies and excuses.
Lies and excuses.
That's everybody.
No startle response.
You know what the fuck?
Can you just have a one for dumb people?
All right.
Here we go.
Red flag, narcissistic behaviors.
Jesus Christ.
Look at the bitch's fucking picture on this.
Holy shit.
Is this about her or is she going to tell me?
Okay.
Extreme infatuation with oneself.
Self-centered.
Expects to be recognized as superior.
All right.
Now you're getting warmer