Name: Bill Burr - Gay Conversion Therapy
Uploaded: 2014-06-24T16:11:20.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Gay Conversion Therapy' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-06-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Gay Conversion Therapy' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-06-24. Transcript available.

Keeping them honest, gay conversion therapy.
Oh, Jesus Christ, I can't imagine the tension there.
Dude, how fucking retarded are you that you actually think that you can stop
somebody
from being attracted to what they're attracted to and then also thinking that
it's unnatural?
You know, I don't understand that.
Unless you're talking about pedophiles, but even them, it's the way they're
wired
or something happened to them, and then they try to undo that wiring, that's
noble work.
But, I mean, at the end of the day, I mean, we all know what needs to happen.
You got to take them out behind the barn and give them the old fucking old
yellow treatment, right?
It's over.
You can't help it.
I know it's not your fault.
You want to fuck a kid.
We can't have that, okay?
Maybe someday in the future.
I don't know when, but not now.
When would you?
I don't know when you would, but it's not going to happen.
So, you're done.
It's over.
Quit your crying.
Be a goddamn man, right?
And that's it.
So, keeping them honest, gay conversion therapy.
Look at this fucking weirdo.
How do they try to convert you from not being gay?
I bet they just have you sitting there, right?
If it's a gay man, and they'd be like, all right, okay, we're going to do
something different here, okay?
What I want you to do is think about having sex with a man, okay?
Are you doing it?
Yeah, yeah, I'm doing it.
All right, just keep thinking about that.
You're having sex, you know?
He smells like Old Spice, you know, whatever you're into, blah, blah, blah.
And it gets the fucking dude aroused, and then he just has some naked woman
come in and do like a flying scissor kick and put her snatch right in his face,
right?
Gets that stinker on him while he still has an erection.
Thinking that maybe that would take, you know?
Other than that, I don't know how you do it.
But what's funny about that was then if they wanted to convert me to being gay,
then they would do the exact same thing, except the flying scissor kick would
be somebody's package coming flying at my face.
I mean, I'm going to go on a limb and say that that's not going to work.
Dude, how isolated are you as a fucking human being that you're actually part
of a group that's trying to do some shit like this?
I mean, I guess people looked at Orville and Wilbur Wright like, are you out of
your fucking mind?
You're trying to fly?
That's crazy.
So maybe they think that they're doing that except with, like, sexuality.
You know what's funny about the early planes is when the people didn't
understand that the flapping of the wings was to gain speed.
So they tried to have, like, well, I don't know.
Isn't that what they thought?
Isn't that something else that I haven't read about?
They thought that it's got something to do with the flapping of the wings.
Before they realized, like, no, we just need to somehow gain some speed.
We've got to build something that somebody can run with.
Oh, Jesus.
Look, fuck you guys.
I already told you I didn't take any science classes, okay?
Because, you know, anyways.
Jesus, this fucking podcast is all over the place.
- Bye.