Name: Bill Burr - DJs / EDM
Uploaded: 2014-07-01T12:53:04.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - DJs / EDM' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-07-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - DJs / EDM' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-07-01. Transcript available.

So I'm in Las Vegas right now, and I have to tell you, the landscape of this
town just keeps changing.
Like, I didn't realize, like, out here right now, you know that DJ music?
Oh my god!
That shit, like, is the biggest fucking thing ever.
Out here, in Las Vegas right now, the highest-paid entertainers are all those
DJs.
That shit.
That shit is the biggest fucking thing.
Pause.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, bam.
Right, we get it, Bill.
Okay, yeah, so that fucking shit is huge.
There is literally, out here, these fucking clubs.
I mean, these casinos are building these clubs.
They have more clubs than they actually have, like, legitimate DJs.
And they are, I was literally, I was reading this thing.
A lot of literal stuff, Bill.
We get it.
You're not lying to us.
I was reading this article called DJ Wars, inside the Las Vegas battle for the
world's top electric, electronic music talent.
Now, these fucking guys, like, I don't know who any of them are, because I'm
old.
Afro Jack, Calvin Harris.
I don't know who any of these guys are.
A couple of their songs, I've heard them, though.
You know, because my wife watches Keeping Up with the Kardashians and shit, and
they're always playing that.
And then the Iranian one, the Shas of Sunset, where they got that dude, the gay
guy on that show, looks like Freddie Mercury fucked Joseph Stalin.
He looks like gay Saddam Hussein, is what he looks like.
And he's a fucking riot, because he's always stirring shit up between the
ladies.
He absolutely loves it, and he's so fucking passive-aggressive.
He'll be like, hey, so what did Miranda say when she called you this?
What happened?
And then they just, I'm doing a hacky gay accent.
He fucking, I don't know, whatever.
Stay on the topic, Bill.
So these fucking DJs, dude, like, they're making, like, what do they say here?
Which one's most, $100 million.
Dude, whatever, they're building these clubs.
They're these giant, like, square rooms, and they just pack in, like, 5,000, 6,000
young, beautiful people.
And the dude, or whatever, I don't know if there's any women DJs, it's gotta be.
Whatever.
The men and women DJs go up there, and they're not just playing records like I
thought.
I guess they come up with that shit.
They come up with that.
That's theirs.
That's not a sample from, like, fucking John Lennon imitating one of the Three
Stooges.
This is their original shit.
So they fucking go up there.
They're famous across.
I know a lot of you guys already know this shit.
I don't know.
They are fucking world famous.
They gotta lug all their mixes and all their shit around the world, their giant
mouse heads and all this stuff.
And they just go out there, and they play their shit, and they're making a zillion
dollars.
So anyways, out here in Vegas, that's how they're making all the money.
That's how they're packing out the casinos, are these DJs.
And they barely promote anything else.
I guess that is the deal.
But they try to say that the young kids don't really gamble, and they just come
out, and they get fucked up, and they go to these DJ shows, and they're able to
make their money.
But I don't want to, like, name names.
I mean, the article basically names names and says how much money they're
making.
I think that's a little fucking tacky.
But they were saying one guy made, like, $58 million last year playing that
shit.
To these kids.
And I gotta tell you something.
If you're in a fucking casino, and they don't have that DJ music going on, I
swear to God.
Like, the casinos I was in last night, at 46 years of age, I was kind of like
the youngest person in the casino.
It was fucking unreal.
I was looking around going, like, where are all the, where is everybody?
It's just a bunch of old people just sitting there.
And I guess they're all at these other casinos that have these DJ rooms.
So here's the funny thing.
The typical fucking thing.
So this is the, so this is the big war now.
So all these fucking casinos are building these giant square rooms.
And then they're, they're fighting over, you know, the top DJs to get them
there.
And they're, like, doubling the asking prices and all that.
It's going through the fucking roof.
And it's literally reminding me of the stand-up comedy boom when they start,
when they, because, like, right now they have more rooms than they actually
have legitimate people that can fill up the rooms.
And they pack in, like, 5,000, 6,000 people a night.
But I guess that's down from, like, 7,000, 8,000.
And it's, it's the exact same thing that, I can't say I saw it in stand-up
comedy, but right when I started stand-up comedy, I started in March of 1992.
Yeah, I know, I'm old.
They, they had basically, at that point, the fallout had already begun from
having more comedy clubs than you actually had comedians.
So what happens is, obviously, then you just start, anybody with a pulse, they
just start sticking up there behind the microphone, going, you know, watch the
deal with everything, right?
And, um, yeah, and it just went down the shitter.
And I just don't fucking get why they, they, they just, they keep doing this.
It's like, you got a great thing, EDM, electronic dance music, I guess is what
it's called.
And, uh, well, I guess, yeah, because if you don't have it, there's a bunch of
old people like me.
At your fucking casino.
It's, I've never seen the distance between young people and old people greater.
And the entire time that I've been coming out to Las Vegas, which has been, um,
since the late 90s, I've never seen it bigger.
But you used to see a decent mix of people in the casino.
And then, like, certain places like the Hard Rock Cafe, Casino, whatever the
fuck they call it, that was, like, the place to go.
And you went in there, and there was a bunch of young, young kids in there.
And by kids, I just mean people in their 20s.
Um, but basically all the other ones were kind of like, you know, it was a
decent fucking mix of people.
And there were people gambling.
And now, I don't know, the tables and shit were dead.
Granted, it's a fucked up time to come out here.
Hockey and basketball are over, so a lot of the sports books are kind of drying
up.
But, like, um, it's going to be interesting to see when this bubble bursts,
exactly what is going to happen.
And what the fuck they're going to, they don't give a shit.
I was going to say what they were going to do with their rooms.
Those giant square rooms, what they can turn them into.
Um, so right now, yeah, you basically have ventriloquists or that fucking, that,
that, uh, EDM music out here.
And, uh, I don't know, man.
It's, it's a, uh, I, I, I just, that, that thing is going to, that thing is
going to fucking nosedive.
It's going to nosedive.
I mean, you got to be thinking that as you just keep building another room.
We're giving him 50 million.
We'll give him 60 million.
This is like what the Red Sox and Yankees did.
The next thing you know, you know, you got Eric Garnier up there fucking doing
that shit.
Then it's over.
Then one day somebody just stands back and goes, what the fuck are we doing?
But you got to do it.
That's what you, you know, back when I was coming up,
it was that hair metal shit and everybody blew out their hair, right?
Said something about the devil.
And then you had a little fucking ballad and then you shot the ballad, right?
And the ballad was always in black and white in the beginning.
And then when the guitar solo finally came in, um, that's when it went into
color.
They just ride it into the fucking ground.
I think that's what you do on that side of the business.
You see a trend.
This is where the money's going.
And you just fucking jump on that horse.
You don't stop for water.
You just ride that thing until it fucking, it dies.
And then you get off the fucking thing and you act like you, you, you never
rode the horse.
And job, dude, I'm a EDM.
I can't even listen to that shit.
Even though you made like a zillion fucking dollars off of it.
So, uh, I don't, I know I'm obviously in way over my head here.
I don't know what I'm talking about, but I found it really fascinating.
And I got to tell you, I'm happy for all those goddamn DJs, you know?
I mean, you know, what's great about their, their, uh, their like standup
comedy bubble here.
This thing that they're fucking riding is they are making money.
They're going to be set for life.
All right.
So if there's any goddamn DJs, listen to this fucking thing.
I better not see you on some behind the music thing talking about how you blew
your $50 million a fucking year.
You should be set for life.
Oh my God.
If I made 50 million in one fucking year, you figure, all right, you got to,
you give it away.
10 to your agent, 10 to your manager.
That's 10 million.
Now you're down to 40 million.
Then the government's going to come in and they're going to fucking whack you
for at least half that.
So you still got like 19 million bucks.
Just go out and just buy a $5 billion piece of product.
Oh, but then what do you, then you got to pay the property taxes on that.
Someday when the DJ shit ends, buy like a million dollar house and Allah
fucking Bama.
Right.
Go down there in Alabama where everything's fucking cheap or Arkansas,
something like that.
And just buy yourself a big spread.
Pay the fucker off.
And then when the whole thing goes into the shitter and nobody cares about that
music anymore.
Cause it's, you know, you got to wait 20 years until it becomes cool again
because it goes down the shitter.
And then the next decade, they got to have their own personality.
So they, they got to hate on the decade before, but the decade before the
decade before is always considered cool.
Right.
Like right now, slowly the nineties are going to start coming back.
You know, like in the nineties, then the eighties, when I was coming up,
everybody was into the sixties and everybody thought the seventies sucked with
disco and soft rock and all of that fucking shit.
And then in the nineties, all of a sudden the seventies became cool again.
Right.
And then there was all these movies like boogie nights and all of that fucking
stuff and all this disco music that everybody loved and then hated.
Then they loved it again.
So I'm calling this right now.
Like Paul Verzi, this DJ music is going to be considered the shit by a certain
segment of the population.
Okay.
In the 2020s, everyone's been like, oh my God, it's fucking awful.
Emperor's new clothes.
What was going on?
And everybody stood there with glow sticks, pumping their fist in the fucking
air.
And then, uh, the hipsters of the 2030s of the thirties, they're basically
going to be like, uh, I don't know.
I don't know what the fuck they're going to do.
They'll be walking around with mouse heads on, on top of their fucking heads.
Gee, Bill, that's really insightful.
So you mean like nothing's going to change in the future?
Yeah.
That's basically what I'm saying.
Go fuck yourselves.
All right.
This is the Monday morning podcast.
Uh, if you're new to the podcast, this is about as good as it gets.
I hate to tell you, this is, this is what I'm bringing to the table.
And, um, so if you want to leave, I totally understand.
Oh my God, the fucking iPhone.
I get it.
I heard the first fucking one.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Why does it do that?
It rings and then you don't pick it up.
I literally push the fucking button to say I don't want to.
You know what's funny?
Some DJ that boom, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.
They could turn that into a hit song.
And if you'd be, you know, like they could blend that with Guns N' Roses,
whatever the fuck, that sweet child of mine.
Which, by the way, I heard the blending of that last night at this bar that I
was at.
And I literally thought that somebody had put on two fucking stereos at the
same time.
Stereos.
That's how old I am.
And I got to be honest with you.
It sounded like absolute shit.
That was not a good example of that.
It fucking annoys the shit out of me when young kids think that that's fucking
amazing.
When somebody blends this album with that album and they can't fucking believe
it.
Like, oh shit.
How did they do that?
It's like, well, you basically, you find two songs that are the same tempo.
You know?
That's all you need.
If they're the same tempo, they'll all fit.
That's it.
So that's your homework this week.
Some up-and-coming DJ.
I want you to have a hit.
I want you to get out here to Vegas and start vacuuming up all this money that
they're throwing at these DJs out here.
Take that fucking boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop,
whatever the fuck that is, you know, and blend that with Lawrence Welk's Winchester
Cathedral or whatever the fuck you want to do with it.
I don't give a shit.

Bill Burr - DJs / EDM

So I'm in Las Vegas right now, and I have to tell you, the landscape of this
town just keeps changing.
Like, I didn't realize, like, out here right now, you know that DJ music?
Oh my god!
That shit, like, is the biggest fucking thing ever.
Out here, in Las Vegas right now, the highest-paid entertainers are all those
DJs.
That shit.
That shit is the biggest fucking thing.
Pause.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, bam.
Right, we get it, Bill.
Okay, yeah, so that fucking shit is huge.
There is literally, out here, these fucking clubs.
I mean, these casinos are building these clubs.
They have more clubs than they actually have, like, legitimate DJs.
And they are, I was literally, I was reading this thing.
A lot of literal stuff, Bill.
We get it.
You're not lying to us.
I was reading this article called DJ Wars, inside the Las Vegas battle for the
world's top electric, electronic music talent.
Now, these fucking guys, like, I don't know who any of them are, because I'm
old.
Afro Jack, Calvin Harris.
I don't know who any of these guys are.
A couple of their songs, I've heard them, though.
You know, because my wife watches Keeping Up with the Kardashians and shit, and
they're always playing that.
And then the Iranian one, the Shas of Sunset, where they got that dude, the gay
guy on that show, looks like Freddie Mercury fucked Joseph Stalin.
He looks like gay Saddam Hussein, is what he looks like.
And he's a fucking riot, because he's always stirring shit up between the
ladies.
He absolutely loves it, and he's so fucking passive-aggressive.
He'll be like, hey, so what did Miranda say when she called you this?
What happened?
And then they just, I'm doing a hacky gay accent.
He fucking, I don't know, whatever.
Stay on the topic, Bill.
So these fucking DJs, dude, like, they're making, like, what do they say here?
Which one's most, $100 million.
Dude, whatever, they're building these clubs.
They're these giant, like, square rooms, and they just pack in, like, 5,000, 6,000
young, beautiful people.
And the dude, or whatever, I don't know if there's any women DJs, it's gotta be.
Whatever.
The men and women DJs go up there, and they're not just playing records like I
thought.
I guess they come up with that shit.
They come up with that.
That's theirs.
That's not a sample from, like, fucking John Lennon imitating one of the Three
Stooges.
This is their original shit.
So they fucking go up there.
They're famous across.
I know a lot of you guys already know this shit.
I don't know.
They are fucking world famous.
They gotta lug all their mixes and all their shit around the world, their giant
mouse heads and all this stuff.
And they just go out there, and they play their shit, and they're making a zillion
dollars.
So anyways, out here in Vegas, that's how they're making all the money.
That's how they're packing out the casinos, are these DJs.
And they barely promote anything else.
I guess that is the deal.
But they try to say that the young kids don't really gamble, and they just come
out, and they get fucked up, and they go to these DJ shows, and they're able to
make their money.
But I don't want to, like, name names.
I mean, the article basically names names and says how much money they're
making.
I think that's a little fucking tacky.
But they were saying one guy made, like, $58 million last year playing that
shit.
To these kids.
And I gotta tell you something.
If you're in a fucking casino, and they don't have that DJ music going on, I
swear to God.
Like, the casinos I was in last night, at 46 years of age, I was kind of like
the youngest person in the casino.
It was fucking unreal.
I was looking around going, like, where are all the, where is everybody?
It's just a bunch of old people just sitting there.
And I guess they're all at these other casinos that have these DJ rooms.
So here's the funny thing.
The typical fucking thing.
So this is the, so this is the big war now.
So all these fucking casinos are building these giant square rooms.
And then they're, they're fighting over, you know, the top DJs to get them
there.
And they're, like, doubling the asking prices and all that.
It's going through the fucking roof.
And it's literally reminding me of the stand-up comedy boom when they start,
when they, because, like, right now they have more rooms than they actually
have legitimate people that can fill up the rooms.
And they pack in, like, 5,000, 6,000 people a night.
But I guess that's down from, like, 7,000, 8,000.
And it's, it's the exact same thing that, I can't say I saw it in stand-up
comedy, but right when I started stand-up comedy, I started in March of 1992.
Yeah, I know, I'm old.
They, they had basically, at that point, the fallout had already begun from
having more comedy clubs than you actually had comedians.
So what happens is, obviously, then you just start, anybody with a pulse, they
just start sticking up there behind the microphone, going, you know, watch the
deal with everything, right?
And, um, yeah, and it just went down the shitter.
And I just don't fucking get why they, they, they just, they keep doing this.
It's like, you got a great thing, EDM, electronic dance music, I guess is what
it's called.
And, uh, well, I guess, yeah, because if you don't have it, there's a bunch of
old people like me.
At your fucking casino.
It's, I've never seen the distance between young people and old people greater.
And the entire time that I've been coming out to Las Vegas, which has been, um,
since the late 90s, I've never seen it bigger.
But you used to see a decent mix of people in the casino.
And then, like, certain places like the Hard Rock Cafe, Casino, whatever the
fuck they call it, that was, like, the place to go.
And you went in there, and there was a bunch of young, young kids in there.
And by kids, I just mean people in their 20s.
Um, but basically all the other ones were kind of like, you know, it was a
decent fucking mix of people.
And there were people gambling.
And now, I don't know, the tables and shit were dead.
Granted, it's a fucked up time to come out here.
Hockey and basketball are over, so a lot of the sports books are kind of drying
up.
But, like, um, it's going to be interesting to see when this bubble bursts,
exactly what is going to happen.
And what the fuck they're going to, they don't give a shit.
I was going to say what they were going to do with their rooms.
Those giant square rooms, what they can turn them into.
Um, so right now, yeah, you basically have ventriloquists or that fucking, that,
that, uh, EDM music out here.
And, uh, I don't know, man.
It's, it's a, uh, I, I, I just, that, that thing is going to, that thing is
going to fucking nosedive.
It's going to nosedive.
I mean, you got to be thinking that as you just keep building another room.
We're giving him 50 million.
We'll give him 60 million.
This is like what the Red Sox and Yankees did.
The next thing you know, you know, you got Eric Garnier up there fucking doing
that shit.
Then it's over.
Then one day somebody just stands back and goes, what the fuck are we doing?
But you got to do it.
That's what you, you know, back when I was coming up,
it was that hair metal shit and everybody blew out their hair, right?
Said something about the devil.
And then you had a little fucking ballad and then you shot the ballad, right?
And the ballad was always in black and white in the beginning.
And then when the guitar solo finally came in, um, that's when it went into
color.
They just ride it into the fucking ground.
I think that's what you do on that side of the business.
You see a trend.
This is where the money's going.
And you just fucking jump on that horse.
You don't stop for water.
You just ride that thing until it fucking, it dies.
And then you get off the fucking thing and you act like you, you, you never
rode the horse.
And job, dude, I'm a EDM.
I can't even listen to that shit.
Even though you made like a zillion fucking dollars off of it.
So, uh, I don't, I know I'm obviously in way over my head here.
I don't know what I'm talking about, but I found it really fascinating.
And I got to tell you, I'm happy for all those goddamn DJs, you know?
I mean, you know, what's great about their, their, uh, their like standup
comedy bubble here.
This thing that they're fucking riding is they are making money.
They're going to be set for life.
All right.
So if there's any goddamn DJs, listen to this fucking thing.
I better not see you on some behind the music thing talking about how you blew
your $50 million a fucking year.
You should be set for life.
Oh my God.
If I made 50 million in one fucking year, you figure, all right, you got to,
you give it away.
10 to your agent, 10 to your manager.
That's 10 million.
Now you're down to 40 million.
Then the government's going to come in and they're going to fucking whack you
for at least half that.
So you still got like 19 million bucks.
Just go out and just buy a $5 billion piece of product.
Oh, but then what do you, then you got to pay the property taxes on that.
Someday when the DJ shit ends, buy like a million dollar house and Allah
fucking Bama.
Right.
Go down there in Alabama where everything's fucking cheap or Arkansas,
something like that.
And just buy yourself a big spread.
Pay the fucker off.
And then when the whole thing goes into the shitter and nobody cares about that
music anymore.
Cause it's, you know, you got to wait 20 years until it becomes cool again
because it goes down the shitter.
And then the next decade, they got to have their own personality.
So they, they got to hate on the decade before, but the decade before the
decade before is always considered cool.
Right.
Like right now, slowly the nineties are going to start coming back.
You know, like in the nineties, then the eighties, when I was coming up,
everybody was into the sixties and everybody thought the seventies sucked with
disco and soft rock and all of that fucking shit.
And then in the nineties, all of a sudden the seventies became cool again.
Right.
And then there was all these movies like boogie nights and all of that fucking
stuff and all this disco music that everybody loved and then hated.
Then they loved it again.
So I'm calling this right now.
Like Paul Verzi, this DJ music is going to be considered the shit by a certain
segment of the population.
Okay.
In the 2020s, everyone's been like, oh my God, it's fucking awful.
Emperor's new clothes.
What was going on?
And everybody stood there with glow sticks, pumping their fist in the fucking
air.
And then, uh, the hipsters of the 2030s of the thirties, they're basically
going to be like, uh, I don't know.
I don't know what the fuck they're going to do.
They'll be walking around with mouse heads on, on top of their fucking heads.
Gee, Bill, that's really insightful.
So you mean like nothing's going to change in the future?
Yeah.
That's basically what I'm saying.
Go fuck yourselves.
All right.
This is the Monday morning podcast.
Uh, if you're new to the podcast, this is about as good as it gets.
I hate to tell you, this is, this is what I'm bringing to the table.
And, um, so if you want to leave, I totally understand.
Oh my God, the fucking iPhone.
I get it.
I heard the first fucking one.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Why does it do that?
It rings and then you don't pick it up.
I literally push the fucking button to say I don't want to.
You know what's funny?
Some DJ that boom, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.
They could turn that into a hit song.
And if you'd be, you know, like they could blend that with Guns N' Roses,
whatever the fuck, that sweet child of mine.
Which, by the way, I heard the blending of that last night at this bar that I
was at.
And I literally thought that somebody had put on two fucking stereos at the
same time.
Stereos.
That's how old I am.
And I got to be honest with you.
It sounded like absolute shit.
That was not a good example of that.
It fucking annoys the shit out of me when young kids think 