Name: Bill Burr & Jim Norton - Hecklers /Comedians Busting Balls Part2
Uploaded: 2014-07-22T15:52:22.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Jim Norton - Hecklers /Comedians Busting Balls Part2' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-07-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Jim Norton - Hecklers /Comedians Busting Balls Part2' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-07-22. Transcript available.

The bus pounding, which is one of the all-time classes.
You guys literally did a headlining set.
You did 45 minutes on me when I was going to do...
Oh, fuck! That was it!
That was it!
We were both going to do it.
No, no.
Estee, Estee, whatever the fuck it was.
Estee, somebody approached the comedy cell,
these Atlanta Brave fans, and they said...
The Braves, right, right.
Was it the Braves or no?
No, it was the Braves.
Okay.
And they said, you know,
they were taking a bus from Manhattan up to Yankee Stadium,
and they wanted to hire a comic for the bus ride up.
And at the end of it,
they were going to give you a World Series ticket.
So we sat there going,
oh, man, that's going to be brutal.
I don't know, blah, blah, blah, blah.
All of that type of shit.
And I forget what happened at the last...
Without me knowing, you said,
you know what, I'm not fucking doing that.
That's bullshit, right?
And I didn't know it, so I agreed to do it.
And then we sat down and we started trashing each other.
And this is what...
You started it.
I fucking go...
I vaguely remember that.
I said this to you.
I made fun of your shirt, blah, blah, blah.
And I was getting you and everyone was laughing.
And you know that thing at the table.
You're like, oh, my God, I'm winning.
I'm winning.
I'm finally winning here.
And then as they're all laughing,
you just lean in and you go, whatever, bus boy.
And the whole table stopped and went, what?
And you said, Bill Burr is going to do stand-up on a bus on the way to the road.
And all fucking chairs turned at me.
That's the funny...
And, dude, all the killers were there.
You, Patrice, Voss, Kevin Hart.
Kevin Hart was there.
Keith was there.
45 minutes.
I didn't say a word and just got pounded.
And then...
And I was still going to do the gig.
Because to me, that was an easy gig.
All I had to do was shit on the Yankees the whole way.
Make fun of fucking New York and say that Atlanta was better.
Say that I was a Red Sox fan.
I would have been fucking shotgunning beers with them.
It would have been a joke.
But I ended up not doing the gig, which a lot of people don't know.
I didn't do the gig because Patrice, in the end of it...
Dude, you guys were trashing me so bad.
But, like, strangers were either laughing or they were going,
Oh, I'm trying to think of some of the great ones.
Patrice imitating me.
Oh, Patrice goes, Hey, when they call you out on stage,
he goes, Are you going to come out of the bathroom
or are you going to walk up those little steps?
I remember all of them.
He had another one where he was imitating me at the end of the show.
This is a visual.
So I'll have to explain it.
I finished.
I'm in the front of the bus.
I go, Hey, thanks a lot.
You guys are great.
And then he imitates me turning around, sitting down.
And then as people are walking by, reaching over my show,
Good show.
Good show.
I'm going, Hey, thanks a lot.
Thanks a lot.
Thanks a lot.
Reaching over my shoulder.
You guys asked if I was going to use the bus driver's microphone
to do the show.
If I was going to bring my own.
Dude, every joke was just funnier than the next one.
And it was never ending.
I took this fucking brutal pounding.
But I was still going to do it.
I was like, Fuck these guys.
I'm a sports fan.
I want to go to the game.
I don't give a fuck.
So in the end, you guys had all left and it was just me and Patrice
sitting there.
And he just goes, Bill, he goes, you're making enough money at this
point.
If you want, if you want to go to the game, buy a fucking ticket.
All right.
He goes, dude, I will, he called me the N word.
He gets that N word.
He goes, I will stand in front of that bus.
So you don't do that gig.
Do not do that fucking gig.
And it was the first time I ever thought of like, you know, like self-esteem,
like why
not just blow the cash and actually have a little dignity?
Cause you just come into this business doing like those Jersey turnpike gigs
and all that
shit that you don't, you just feel like I need to learn how to do this.
So I didn't do the gig and I actually passed the gig off to somebody else.
And I had taken such a bad pounding.
I said, listen, I'll never tell anybody.
I'll never tell anybody who I gave this gig to.
And I think the person who did it, didn't they come in and say who it was?
I believe they did.
I'll tell you when we're done.
Cause I mean, it doesn't matter now.
No, it's fun.
It doesn't matter now, but I, I, I don't think he would care.
I passed it on.
Not at all.
No, we would feel bad.
That's a, that's a many, many years ago.
And he'd probably be loved to be associated.
I asked him what it was like.
And he, he told me later, I go, what was it like?
He goes, Oh dude, he goes, it was brutal.
It was brutal.
He goes, but the second it was over and I had that world series ticket, dude,
he ran
away from those people and it's hilarious.
It was their ticket.
So then you just sort of sat next to them.
So he kind of couldn't leave them.
But, uh, I'll never forget that.
That was, that was another turning point that I learned from someone who I
started with was
to have self-esteem.
Like at some point you can say no, like I'm not, you know what?
I'm making enough money here in this city.
It wasn't, I was making great money, but I was making enough money that if I
wanted to
blow, I mean, how much was this?
World series ticket four or 500 bucks back then to sit in the upper deck to not
stand
on a bus.
You fucking moron and humiliate yourself.
So you know what those gigs teach you to like, like the seller is getting pounded
so terribly.
Like I get beaten so badly sometimes, like, you know, Bobby or Keith and Colin
and you know,
when they're all attacking you, there's times where I'm, I'm a comedian for
over 20 years
and I find myself still answering seriously.
Like when they're killing me, I'm like, well, no, that's not exactly what
happened.
Like I'm getting beaten up so bad.
I know I'm a helpless, I'm fucking, I'm turning into like my girlfriend, but I'm
annoyed.
Like, you know, that's not accurate at all.
It's so, it's cleansing though to get a beating like that.
It's, it's like, you know, one of my favorite ones watching you taking a
beating was that
time when you were on a date and Patrice was yelling over at you and you weren't
talking
back to him and he started and you, you had just started opening for Dice and
you were thrilled
your hero and you guys were hanging out and Patrice started imitating Dice
talking to you
in the character during the day and you were sitting in the corner trying to
ignore him and Patrice
was all the way across the restaurant and he's going, Hey Jim, let's go to the
mall.
And we were all fucking crying, laughing and you finally had to give in to it.
Man, like those are the things, what I loved about it.
And like, I love watching your date kind of keep hearing the name Jim and
hearing us laughing
and slowly figuring out like, is he talking about you and you trying to stay in
the date
for an excruciating five minutes, dude.
Fuck.
I miss that guy, man.
I remember one time I was, uh, I would, I would always come in off the road and
not sleep.
We would, I would be done with usually Dice on Saturday nights or Sunday
morning at fly
home with no sleep.
And I wasn't doing radio at that time.
So Sunday nights I'd be loopy and go on at the cellar on no sleep.
And I always had good sets cause I'd be creative cause I'd be overtired.
And I would come in and we played chess every night there.
I would play with Keith.
I remember you were good too, man.
I stuck.
In our little circle.
Yeah.
But I mean, compared to a real chess player, I'm a fucking, I'm a chimp.
But I mean, you know, in our little, me, you, Bobby.
Yeah.
But you were like reading the Bobby Fisher book.
You were into it, dude.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I do enjoy him.
He's quite a character.
I was getting, I remember I was, cause Keith was such a shit talker.
Like he's like a, he's like one of those fucking bums in the park.
Like they're like master level players because they're all homeless and they
play for drinks.
They play for foods.
They're real players.
But Keith, you know, you'd move your queen.
He'd do that stupid thing with his fingers.
Like he was sprinkling salt.
Like he's sprinkling salt.
He'd pick up, ah, let's see what color panty she'd get on.
And I would like literally be non-comedian guy.
Quit touching my fucking piece, man.
Oh, you gotta, you gotta re-explain that to the listeners.
Keith, what Keith Robinson would do when he knew he was closing in on your
queen, he would
reach over and pick it up and be like, ah, what color panties is she wearing?
And set it down.
Like he was just.
Touching your pieces.
Oh yeah.
It was annoying as shit.
And I remember one time Patrice pulled my chair out after I had lost.
I had lost and I was so fucking overtired and cranky and he wanted to play
Keith.
So he had winners and I lost.
And he was just such a dismissive, pull my chair out and move me.
Were you still sitting in it?
I was.
Of course I was.
And he dragged me out and I was so mad.
I went, don't touch my chair.
Like I'm fucking a grown man and that's my comeback.
Don't touch my chair.
Like, oh.
And how long did you get pounded for that?
It was just an awful night.
And that was a bad night.
I was overtired and I sucked.
And yeah, that was great.
You know what was the worst was the carryover.
The carryover trashing where there was so much meat left over on the bone.
You'd come back the next night.
Hey, the fucking chair guy.
Sit down.
Don't touch his chair.
You're like, oh.
Sometimes I think about those days and I was just like, it's fucking hilarious
and it's
a goddamn tragedy that we never sat down and wrote anything.
We took all of our comedic skills and just used them to humiliate each other.
Yeah.
We just sat there.
But it all worked out, didn't it?
I guess so.
Those moments made, I think made every one of us a better comic, a thicker skinned
comic.
Yeah.