Name: Bill Burr - Park Perverts and Stephen A Smith
Uploaded: 2014-08-11T19:23:46.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Park Perverts and Stephen A Smith' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-08-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Park Perverts and Stephen A Smith' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-08-11. Transcript available.

well what did I do this week I went on a long hike this morning somebody sent
me a
nice article about the health benefits of hiking which is just like golfing
without all the douchebags you don't have to keep score everybody if you just
want to go walking just go just go hike do you know what's weird is they
actually issued a warning out here for certain parks that that women should not
be hiking alone because evidently there's one or two perverts that are
riding by on bicycles grabbing ass and titties as they go by and I know that
that's wrong but like what what do you what do you think like what kind of a
fucking game plan I mean we all like ass and titties right why wouldn't you
just
walk up and say hello try an opening line say how beautiful our eyes
are like I hated going to school but if I could go to school and become a
psychologist and just or a cop who in way when they finally catch this hunk of
shit who's kidding who this damaged child that now has become an adult you know
they
can afford a bicycle um like I don't understand
are they fat no because that wouldn't work because they're on a bike I'm
thinking like
they just I bet the person's small if I'm gonna try to break down what I think
this person looks
like here I'm gonna do a little police work all right I think the dude is small
because he's worried
that after he sexually assaults the woman by grabbing a boob or a butt uh
she's she's gonna she has the chance of beating the shit out of him so I think
he's a smaller fella
um just come and ride down the fucking hill
riding down the hill with his dick standing up
that's one of the scariest things I think I could ever think of
I wonder if he yells as he comes by
he just reaches out and grabs her ass oh that titties I mean that's fucking
horrible
what is now when they catch this guy and he goes to jail anybody who goes to
jail for uh for you know
you know any uh pedophiles or rapists anything sexually
fucked up they have a rough time so like what would they do with him
you know what would be the uh the punishment
I mean he doesn't deserve an ass raping for that does he
because if he deserves an ass raping then what what the
does the ass raping deserve it's a very slippery slope it's almost like you
know doing your stand-up
back you can't start with the closing bit you got nowhere to go
you can't be on 10 this guy deserves like what I'm gonna ask ladies like what
do you think this guy deserves
god knows what them it's never enough right it's never enough
like when they suspended steven a smith after he said you i'm gonna keep
talking about that because
it was such bullshit when he said you shouldn't hit a woman right um
and they still suspended him they went and they cut to this woman right this
lady and she's like
he got suspended like three days of some
shit cost him like half a million dollars
you know and uh because he said you should never hit a woman and then he had
the audacity to say
let's try to examine the problem from 360 degrees you know um he gets suspended
like three days and
this woman comes on tv and she goes i don't think it's enough
i don't think it's enough i so wanted to be on tv and just be like is it ever
enough with you
see that's right that's exactly it you're calling us all
bitches no i'm not you fucking cunt i'm calling you a
bitch all right that's all it's a joke
lighten the fuck up dude i swear to god you could go out the average woman you
could go if you went
out and you bought her a fucking mercedes-benz four-door hard top or whatever
you know what they'd say
how come you didn't get the convertible not saying all of them but enough of
them
i guess we do shit too like you didn't even notice i got my hair cut oh i
thought you got a new shirt
i mean we're morons i guess i'm trying to be more empathetic as i get older but
uh it's never enough
it's like they're treating the guy like he hit somebody
uh i don't know i guess i've exhaust exhausted that topic what do you do when
you have an hour-long
podcast and you don't have any fucking emails andrew was supposed to send me
these motherfucking
things but he's on a hiking excursion which i understand because i would not be
fucking sending emails either plus i'm doing it way early so i'm just gonna
have to sit here and
just fucking deal with this goddamn silence um what am i going to bring to the
pool party
other than my lack of pigment i don't want to fucking drink in the sun