Name: Bill Burr - Advice: Too Old To Start A Band
Uploaded: 2014-08-26T00:24:44.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Advice: Too Old To Start A Band' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-08-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Advice: Too Old To Start A Band' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-08-26. Transcript available.

all right when is too old to start a band well listen i just started playing
out with
i'm not in a band but i gotta tell you dude it's fucking i gotta tell you
something going down and
doing that goddamn comedy jam and sitting in with the band is the most fun shit
i've done in a long
time i literally drive down there with like butterflies like this nervous
excitement i you
know how long it's been since i've had that i'm getting outside my comfort zone
and uh i know
obviously i'm not going to join a band or anything but whatever that experience
is artistically is
going to help me in my acting it's somewhere down the road that experience is
going to fucking help me
and um i don't know it's just the best the fucking best anyways he goes when is
too old to start a
band he goes hey bill my boyfriend oh she says sorry oh nice a female wrote in
god damn it i love when
this happens he says my boyfriend of two years has been involved in a in has
always has been very
involved in theater and music he was in bands throughout high school and
college as a drummer
about a year ago he joined a cover band which i'm totally supportive of uh it's
a really nice hobby
and i love going to his shows now we are getting pretty close to to moving in
together um he talks
at length about our future that um what we need to do to get there etc
basically we are being grownups
and despite what you're probably thinking he is actually the one that brings up
our future and
more than me i'm not judging you i know i'm a cunt but i'm not judging here i'm
reading this open
mindedly he goes well she goes well i'm reading this open mindedly as i keep
calling you he she says this
um well about a week ago he says that he and the chick in the cover band want
to start their own
two-person original band and based on certain things he has said he seems
pretty serious about
trying to make something of it i.e comments about me going on tour with him or
about becoming a rich
musician musician etc my first reaction you're 31 you don't really like your
job much parentheses
people that hate their careers tend to want to try something else uh you talk
to me about our future
and what we have to do to get there you want to start dedicating your time to a
two-person band
i haven't said any of this to him because i don't want to come off as unsupportive
but i mean at what
age do you face the reality and stop trying to live out a 15 year old's dream
granted it seemed very
unlikely that anything will come of it sorry just being honest but doesn't this
seem like a midlife
crisis 10 years too early i should mention he also sent me this horrendous
skull tattoo today that he
suddenly wants on his arm uh or am i being selfish and an asshole be blunt i
can take it all right um
there's a lot of shit going on in this one um
is 31 too late to start in a band technically no i don't think it is um
and when you said you know that he's having a midlife crisis um i hate that
expression
um and however i actually and at first i didn't like that you used it until he
was talking about
getting the awful skull tattoo on his arm that gave that loaned a lot of credit
credibility to uh
the midlife crisis comment i would say this i think this is a person that
wanted to be in a band a
successful band and is now 31 and is realizing like fuck if i'm going to do
this i need to do this now
all right um
but going out and getting the skull tattoo is it that really i don't know i don't
know about that part
that's making me feel like your assessment of the situation i mean without me
seeing this guy play
i can't tell you but like um
at this point he's in a cover band and he has a job and that is your
relationship this guy has a job
he has a steady income and he has this cover band now all of a sudden he's
going to get a skull tattoo
quit his job and potentially go on the road and take you with him now i'm
assuming you have a
fucking job so he is creating an entirely new dynamic so you're in the right to
be like what
the fuck are we doing here um
and you're in a tough position where you don't want to be like listen this
dream that you've had
but for some reason didn't go after it the way you should have
you know i understand being in a cover band to like pay the fucking bills but
you know if you're
not making original music there's only so far that you can fucking go as far as
my understanding of
it um so
i i actually i don't think that you're being an asshole the skull tattoo thing
is really like a
major fucking red flag to me that uh does he have any other tattoos if he doesn't
have any other
tattoos and out of nowhere he's like all right i'm gonna stop being in this
cover band i'm gonna
finally take this fucking thing seriously and i'm gonna go out and get some
fucking awful goddamn
tattoo yeah i would be kind of concerned about the guy and what he was doing
but as far as the whole
midlife crisis thing that gets thrown around a lot when somebody goes after a
dream and there's nothing
wrong with being 31 years old and then assessing your life being like wait a
minute i've been on this road
i don't want to go on i need to go on this other road and i think a lot of
times people who aren't
going after a dream can't relate to it i'm not saying this is you but they can't
relate to somebody going
after a dream and taking a big risk and taking a big risk and they attribute it
to having a midlife crisis
or they don't have a dream they're just going to work and that's fine working
for somebody else and and
you know doing the nine to five grind as long as you make enough money and you
have your benefits
and you like where you live like that's fine like that's your dream and they
can't understand um
somebody going after something but um i would definitely not call it
a midlife i don't know i guess it is technically a midlife crisis i mean all
the midlife crisis is
like fuck i better get on the stick or the things that i wanted in life i'm not
gonna have it's like
you know me when i'm sitting here talking about you i'm finally gonna get
myself a nice
fucking car if i can ever get finished with this goddamn downstairs and you
know i'm talking about
some of the cars i'm looking at you know and it just comes it's like if i don't
ever do this i'm
never gonna do it i think when you're young you can be like oh i'll do this
someday i'll do this someday
someday i'm gonna do this you can lie to yourself and in life you have to
understand that no if i don't
do this i'm never gonna do this does that make sense if i don't go over to
fucking europe i'm not i'm
never gonna go to europe unless i get my fucking ass over there i'm never gonna
have this car that
i always wanted unless i go down to the dealership and fucking buy the goddamn
thing um and i don't
know and people see you when people see you step out of what they think that
you are which is i play in
a cover band and i have this job that i fucking don't like it's very easy to
say are you having a
midlife crisis he could also be having an awakening okay so this is a very
delicate thing oh man it
just keeps coming back to that awful skull tattoo to me that just seems like
first of all that's the
hackiest fucking tattoo out there you know to get you know fucking i'm in music
till i die what's
gonna be a guy with a skull fucking playing drums i mean that's just bad and i
just look at that like
you're dressing up like a rock star rather than legitimately being one and um i
don't think you're
being a dick here i think what you're an asshole i think what you're doing is
he's going to
he's making this big decision that's going to affect both of your lives in a
major way so
you're not being a an asshole so right now what you have to do is literally try
to like diffuse a bomb
okay you got to make sure you cut the right wire and what i mean by that is you're
able to convey
your concerns like listen i support you and all of that and i know you don't
like your day job
but you know i mean there's just no way to say you're 31 you know you are 31
years of age
i would say look
he's kind of making a move for himself here so you got to make a move for
yourself what i would do is
it's like i would talk him out of the skull tattoo just say listen this is this
is how you get rid of
the skull tattoo just say listen i will support you
okay you get with this woman you guys start making this fucking music okay but
you're not
getting the skull tattoo all right and then go down and watch them and if they
seem like they have
something who the fuck knows stranger things have happened i would never tell
somebody not to go after
a dream i would tell them not to get the skull fucking tattoo but uh see if
they have something
and if it seems like they have something then um i i don't know i i i don't
know that is that is a
that is then i guess you have to assess do i want to take this fucking ride
ride because that is a motherfucker of a ride um
yeah that's that's what that's i guess
i kind of was all over the map there but i think i came to a point no skull
tattoo
you can start making this fucking original music together and like
i mean i don't know how do you go out on the fucking road unless you're
actually doing well
what are they going to do you know they have to make some great music um
i would just lay it on the line it's like you're asking me you're making a
major change
here where music was your hobby and now you're going to make it your full-time
thing and you're
talking about taking me out on the road how are we going to afford to do this
and all of that type
of stuff um i will support you making the original music but you are by no
means getting a skull tattoo
on your fucking arm because that is a that is the trance tramp stamp for a guy
okay unless you're in a
motorcycle gang and you murdered somebody like there should not be any skulls
on your body all right there i said it