Name: Bill Burr - Advice: Stinky Coworker
Uploaded: 2014-10-20T11:56:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Advice: Stinky Coworker' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-10-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Advice: Stinky Coworker' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-10-20. Transcript available.

uh stinky co-worker hey uh billy switchblade i work in a small office with
another girl who
is really nice and helpful helpful her and i share a small cubicle and i've
noticed since
the first day she does not shower and she smells like bo oh jesus oh jesus um
anyway since we are
so close together for eight hours a day it seems to be ruining my concentration
my question is how do
i tell her to get rid of the smell without offending her or without getting my
boss involved it seriously
is making me think about switching jobs thanks for the help big fan of your
comedy and the podcast ps go
fuck yourself dude i don't know if it was a dude you could just say it how do
you say it to a lady
all right well let's let's just brainstorm here by the way 21 19 and they go
for two points seattle
oh and they don't get it they don't get it
well it gives a fuck it's 21 19 seattle's gonna win this fucking game anyways
let's see what the fuck
would i say hey listen i'm not trying to be a jerk
you know you know i love you i love working with you and everything but uh
you know
you just kind of i don't know how do i put this you just you kind of like smell
really bad i mean how the fuck do you there's no way to say it dude you stink
hey listen let me try this one hey listen samantha come here for a
second you know no that's close enough uh
come over here but stay there if you know what i mean
i want to hose you down i don't know what the fuck do you say i don't know what
to say
you fucking smell there's no way to say it like listen
i hate to be the one to tell you this but you don't smell good
you need to bathe more often you're coming in here and you smell like body odor
ah dude there's no there's no way to fucking do it there's no way to the only
way you to do it
is you go to your boss and then you look like a bitch or you you can go passive
aggressive
um you could just bring in like a ridiculous you go out and you buy a bunch of
air fresheners
all right and you just stick an air freshener in the cubicle okay and if she
doesn't get the
hint the next day you have two air fresheners wednesday there's three you get
the point right
and you just keep bringing in more and more air fresheners until she finally
takes the bait and says
why do you have all those air fresheners why do you keep putting all these air
fresheners in there
and without saying a word you look at her you hold your nose and then you just
point at her
and then that's it and then you turn back around and you go back to work like
it like it never happened
and then when she runs out of the cubicle crying you quickly take all of the
air fresheners you throw
them in the basket you tie them off you hand them to a co-worker who's
obviously been informed you
know of what to do you hand it off to them and they spread to the trash bin and
they throw it out
then when the boss shows up and says why did you tell old stink toast over here
that she smelled
uh you're like i never said that i never said anything i know she says you have
a bunch of air
fresheners there are no air fresheners here sir i do not know what you're
talking about you just
fucking deny all of it did you at any point pinch your nose and point in her
direction i have no
recollection of any type of behavior i was at my cubicle doing my job did
anyone hear him pinch his nose and
point in her absolutely not no one can hear that sir even if he did and you're
covered you just have
to realize at that point you're going to be trashing a a your working
friendship
what if you just went out and you bought some ladies deodorant right and you
put a little pink
bow on it and when she walked in you bowed your head and genuflected as you
held it up to her
i'm trying to give a nice way of telling somebody that they stink a female
um
all right here's another one where you get like your other co-workers involved
um
it's like throwback sports fan day and you decide everybody's going to do the
wave
all right and then the one person conducting them also has this little spray
bottle of perfume when it
comes by her for me like yeah she raises her thing like people on either side
just spray perfume into
her armpits really quickly then everybody runs away not then ever she'd start
crying again
just ask her just say listen is there a way for me to tell you that you have
body odor that
won't make you cry is there a way for me to do that
how could is there anything worse since when somebody puts you in a position to
have to
fucking do that you know
oh my god you fucking stink you know what's the worst is the air freshener
thing because there's
going to be this this tipping point where the air freshener and the bo are
are competing for your fucking sense of smell and if you can somehow tough your
way through that
day without puking you're a better man than me