Name: Bill Burr & Nia - Email: Shaving In The Steam Room
Uploaded: 2014-10-28T18:24:20.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Nia - Email: Shaving In The Steam Room' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-10-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Nia - Email: Shaving In The Steam Room' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-10-28. Transcript available.

reminders for listeners of the podcast the email to ask me questions is bill at
the mmpodcast.com
bill at the mmpodcast.com shaving in the steam room all right what do we got
here bill you like
steams after my workout i like to take a steam what i find is people coming in
and shaving in
the steam room what the fuck dude people are just they're fucking animals man
fucking animals
there's a sign outside no shaving but it must be for someone else you're a
quick-witted guy
what backhanded response can i give these assholes when they come in and start
shaving
am i the most negative guy ever that i took your you're a quick-witted guy as
an insult hey bill
you're a quick-witted guy why don't you write me a fucking comeback what am i
on the writing staff
of your life here sir um what would you say i would sit there in the steam be
like buddy there's no
shaving in here that's disgusting we all have to use it what's wrong with you
you fucking animal
oh look who's here look who's here everybody it's the lovely nia making
appearance for the first time
in a while people thought you'd dump me get over here i only have one
microphone don't touch the
fucking mixer what are you doing oh jesus i'm in the other room listening to
you screaming like a
moron about god knows what what are you yelling about again
yeah this this podcast is uh it's an important thing i gotta bring the energy i
gotta bring the
laughs i know it's literally monday morning you're like i'll have butter on it
you're fucking
screaming about pumpkin bread it's nine in the morning what is the matter with
you
seriously and when someone calls as you for a a nice quip or something to say
to somebody you get
an attitude about it what's the matter with you i don't know look at look how
it's written look how
it's written tell me i'm wrong there somebody was shaving in the steam room how
gross is that that's
disgusting absolutely fucking disgusting they should literally just put a
collar around that guy and
stick him in a fucking cage take him down to the pound yeah i mean you can
either just go straight
up to him like you said hey buddy there's no shaving in here that sounds like
exactly what we would say
you would definitely say hey buddy in that really fucking tense way no i would
or you could like you
know what he should tell on them to the uh no place and get him banned you know
what you stand up
we're getting reports that you're you're shaving in the steam room and sir well
you've been warned
several times about this we're gonna have to ask you to leave can i have your
your locker room key
please no the guy initially denies it i wasn't shaving in there and then the
guy like gently
reaches out and touches the side of his face come on we both know we both know
there's no way your
face is going to be that smooth unless you're shaving you know what the guy you
guys should do
is just stand up and start peeing on his leg no this is what you do you say
what yeah no you say
sir there's no shaving in here and if he has an attitude then you pee on his
leg and then you both
get kicked out and it's just then you make the news like that tmz a man was
shaving i wasn't gonna make
the show let me get a tighter shirt the man this man was shaving in the steam
room with this other
guy he gets so many pees on his leg no way no way that doesn't happen that's my
tmz impression
i hate that you watch that stupid fucking show with all those goddamn geeks
standing around i don't
watch it on a regular basis but i do uh i watch it from time to time to get
caught up on the on the
celebrity tea i have never seen however long it seems like it's an hour long an
hour long of
nothing yeah just watching people coming out of restaurants you know hey sean
penn what do you
think about ebola and he's just like what i just had some muscles
oh cleo cleo wants to be on the podcast too all right all right all right all
right it was going
off the rails it's going off the rails here get down get down come on the
original cock block
anytime we hug the dog comes over like i want to be a part of it go lie down
mommy
go lie down get over there get over there stupid don't call the dog stupid oh
that dog i fucking love
that dog you don't even understand all right i don't understand yeah you don't
understand i do
understand the way you throw yourself on top of her and go oh cleo as loud as
possible it's one of my
favorite things to do you can't stop doing it you do it constantly throughout
the day you do it like
10 times a day i'm not exaggerating i'm not going to defend myself it's like
how do you not go over
and hug your dog that's what i do i always go all right she she sees me coming
over she lays down
her side and i just grab her and i squeeze her and i scream oh cleo yeah you
get her all in that
fucking state you know and who takes her for a hike every fucking day me yeah
you do but you also
like literally you walk into the room and she's like up on her feet and she's
like like you
you're giving the dog your energy your manic energy that's true i know i'm a
fucking psycho what do you
want from me but you know what i don't shave in the steam room so what would i
say to this guy
i would say uh i'd be like buddy there's no shaving in here that's fucking
gross yeah it's
disgusting yeah what's wrong with your little stupid whiskers are gonna be
there on the floor you
fucking animal dude i i swear to god i swear to god the fucking animals that go
into steam rooms
fucking animals fucking guy like cleaning the his toenails or his dead skin off
of his feet just
sitting there scrubbing it yeah yeah no you know something i only think that
that's 10 percent of
people that go into steam rooms i think the rest of us we need to speak up we're
just sitting there
silently they're not saying anything what the fuck is wrong with you dude that's
gross
sitting there yelling at somebody you both got your dicks out
things flapping around
Thank you.