Name: Bill Burr & Nia - Email: Artificial Intelligence
Uploaded: 2014-10-29T01:25:39.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Nia - Email: Artificial Intelligence' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-10-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Nia - Email: Artificial Intelligence' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-10-29. Transcript available.

Artificial intelligence. Also known as Bill Burr.
Oh, Jesus. Artificial intelligence.
And it's as long as there's intelligence in there, I'll take it.
And its impact on humanity.
Dear Bill Boo Baggins,
what are your thoughts on Tesla founder Elon Musk's warnings
on artificial intelligence?
I just love the fact that you think that I actually read it.
He said that through recursive self-improvement,
simple tasks like preventing spam could lead to an AI
determining humans are the problem.
Is this like a sci-fi script?
I know. Okay, yeah, I get it.
I'm totally interested, but I don't know what's going on here.
Recursive self-improvement means it could reason with itself.
Oh, this is like when you make a computer that has emotions like a human being?
Well, no, it's like he's talking about we're trying to get rid of spam
and email and stuff, but whatever program is like,
wait, there's a human being behind the spam.
There's a human being behind the Nigerian prince scheme
or the, oh my God, friend, I'm trapped in Denmark
and I've had my passport and all my money taken from me.
I don't think that is.
I think he's talking AI.
Simple tasks like preventing spam could lead to AI.
Artificial intelligence is a computer.
Yeah.
It's a robot.
Determining humans are the problem.
Yeah.
Okay.
So how is there a guy in Nigeria?
Recursive self-improvement.
It's saying like it's realizing that human beings are behind the spam in your
email.
Like there's someone.
Oh, I see what you're saying.
I see what you're saying.
Okay.
Sorry about that.
Oh, boy.
That's going to be a long one.
Keep going.
Recursive self-improvement means it could reason with itself
and incrementally improve to overcome obstacles that prevent it from fulfilling
its objectives.
I listened to previous podcasts and you've mentioned you think there would be a
backdoor
built into any AI machine robots by the powers that be.
However, using the recursive self-improvement that Elon mentioned,
an AI could eventually reason with itself that a backdoor preventing it from
fulfilling its mandate
must be ignored or overcome.
Elon Musk is very intelligent, having founded PayPal, SpaceX, and Tesla,
as well as playing a key role in SolarCity.
So I don't think his concerns should be taken lightly.
Here's a book that delves into the subject in more detail because I know you're
a deep thinker.
See what I'm saying?
They're all giving me shit.
Oh, that's funny.
Our final invention, Artificial Intelligence and the End of the Human Era.
Thanks for your fucking opinion.
Is this some sort of like 1984 type shit?
No, 1984 was humans on humans.
Oh, okay.
We'll see.
That's already going on.
That's already going on where someone who was our ally yesterday is now the
enemy
and then the enemy is now the ally and vice versa and all that type of shit.
So this is basically like the machines are getting so smart that they're going
to eventually like take over.
Yeah, here's the thing about machines, Nia.
They don't have legs.
The robots might.
Maybe that's his whole point.
Like the robots.
The robots I'm afraid of, but just like a computer.
Right.
It's like you don't have legs and you have an umbilical cord plugged into that
fucking wall over there and I will snip that fucker and I will dump water on
you and that's the end of you.
I will dump water on you.
Yeah.
Go dump water on your computer.
See what happens.
But aren't they talking about making robots that'll be able to like surpass all
of that shit and that's the scary part about it.
It's like you don't want to give them too much intelligence because like he was
saying, they'll learn that like, hey, wait, I've got this whole backdoor thing
and fuck that backdoor.
Yeah.
Well, because they're going to evolve beyond that.
Here's the thing.
What people don't understand.
Like in Her.
Did you ever see that movie Her with Joaquin Phoenix?
There was too much red.
There's just too much red.
He was the only one really that wore red.
But anyway, go on.
Anyways, this is what I feel.
People are acting like this, just some nerdy scientist.
I'm going to make this artificial intelligence bullshit.
It isn't.
It's rich people and rich people.
At the top want to phase out us.
They're sick of us like we are an inconvenience to them with our complaints and
our needs.
They want us to shut the fuck up.
They want us all to be making fucking slippers for them for fucking 50 cents a
month.
They want to have all the cars.
It's like when I went to the farmer's market yesterday, right?
To add to my effeminate weekend of pumpkin bread and driving a Prius.
Speaking of which, you need to store your strawberries more correctly because
they're just sitting out on the counter and they're going to go bad.
You know why?
You know why I left them out there?
Why?
Why did you leave your strawberries out on the counter?
Because they're not organic.
I went to a farmer's market and they actually just have regular, you have to
ask them, is this organic?
And they'll be like, well, you know, our farmers, blah, blah, blah, blah.
They can't even handle 200 people.
The grocery stores can't handle 200 fucking people walking into a parking lot
to buy some goddamn eggs.
They even have to get that money.
Like, they just, they don't, they want, they want it all.
The people at the top.
So can I have those strawberries if you're not going to eat them?
See, did you hear, did you hear that back and forth?
This is why we deserve to get fucking taken over.
Right here.
Because you can't keep people on, you just give a fuck about the strawberries.
I'm talking about the overall picture, man.
I don't care if the strawberries are organic or not.
That's not my cause right now.
I'm just, I like strawberries, so.
I'm trying to stay on topic with this.
I'm sorry, yes, yeah, let's stay.
Can you come near the mic, please?
So basically, what is he, what is this person asking you?
So he's asking me if I'm worried about artificial intelligence.
I actually think that there's human beings behind it.
And it's going to play out like the classic, like Frankenstein, where you build
it and then it comes back and kicks the shit out of you.
But like, I think, you know, a lot of people looking at us like, like human
beings as a collective.
What are we doing?
We aren't doing anything.
You're expendable.
I'm expendable.
We're an annoyance to them.
What, what, the reason why we're still here is because we pay taxes.
We pay interest.
They got their foot on the back of our fucking neck and we're helping to buy
like some more fucking gold coins for them every single month.
But eventually, but the thing, the big flaw with human beings is that we
complain and we pay attention and we go, hey, that isn't fair.
And I think super rich people are sick of it.
And it'd be great.
Wouldn't it be great if we could somehow get them to just work, not bitch and
not have to pay them at all?
What is the solution?
Let's make some fucking robots.
Yeah, but then, you know, the robots would be great.
But then who are we going to fucking pull over to the side of the road and have
them suck our dicks in the back of our limos?
Well, we got to make them more lifelike.
So they're going to try to make these lifelike robots that will do whatever the
fuck they want and suck their dicks and work out in the fields and all that
fucking shit.
But then eventually they're going to get overrun.
So you are concerned about artificial intelligence then?
No, I'm not concerned about it because there's nothing to stop it.
I just was talking to you about it and your main focus is the strawberries.
Right there, that little microcosm of that fucking conversation is why I tapped
out a conspiracy theory.
I will not talk, I mean, I'll just, I'll do it on this podcast because I don't
have to listen to somebody else either saying that's fucking bullshit or this
or that or that or here's my even crazier theory because I'm nuts.
Everybody's fucking nuts.
Everything has, the thing I believe, everything has a beginning, a middle, and
an end.
And human beings are no different and, you know, whatever.
I'm going to die anyway, so what the fuck do I care?
You know how you were talking about rich people being annoyed by non-rich
people?
I was just reading something online that was talking about a dear prudence, you
know, like an advice column over the weekend or something.
And there was a rich person that was saying, you know, I live in a very wealthy
community and, you know, there are billionaires and stuff around us.
For the most part, like the street where I live is just doctors and lawyers and
things.
Anyway, we just noticed that every Halloween there are all these people from
the poorer neighborhoods that come in and, like, you know, trick-or-treat and
ask for candy.
And I just really feel like we're already doing so much, you know, and paying
so many taxes for this, that, and the other.
Like, does Halloween now have to become a social service?
And basically the advice giver was like, wow, like, you are an asshole.
Like, it's Halloween.
It's kids and candy.
Like, are you really trying to make a bigger statement about society over
Halloween?
Wait a minute, wait a minute, you canceled Halloween at our house.
Not because of any sort of, like, class issue.
I canceled Halloween because people were coming over here acting like fucking
morons.
I don't want 40-year-old people just standing there dead-eyed looking at me
like, what's up with the candy?
Or high school kids who don't even have...
Well, isn't that what this guy's saying in a way?
Who don't even have the decency.
All right, well, then let's take the age of the people out of it.
High school kids who don't even have the decency to come in a fucking costume.
Who don't even have the decency to say trick-or-treat.
They stand there staring at you.
You would get an applause break in this guy's gated community right now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But it's like, come in a costume.
I usually don't like women of color, but this one makes sense.
Yeah, exactly.
It's like, don't come in here and be, like, fucking weird about it.
I don't care if whoever...
Any kid that comes into the neighborhood from wherever they are.
Halloween is awesome in that way because it's cute, fun kids.
They're excited about going out.
They're with their parents.
Their parents are like, say thank you.
Like, it's a lovely thing.
You give out candy to 8 o'clock at night, and then you turn the light out.
Exactly.
That's the thing.
I just...
The kids that come with no costumes, and it's like I'm afraid they're going to
egg the house,
so I feel like I have to give them candy.
Like, it's bullshit.
It's annoying.
I just want people to reciprocate the spirit of Halloween, okay?
It's not just me handing out candy.
I need a little something from you, too.
Can you imagine you're so broke that you look forward to Halloween so you can
fucking walk up
and try to get a candy bar from another adult?
Do you realize how fucking demoralizing that is?
I'm saying this to her, but we're getting off track.
We're getting off track.
It's terrible.
But there's also freeloaders out there, too.
But this is the thing.
This is the thing, NeNe, is what that guy is saying is how a lot of rich people
view people
who aren't rich.
We should be privileged that we're in their presence.
Yeah, like that type of guy.
That type of guy.
Do you think that that type of guy would give a shit if the rest of the world
got phased out
and was replaced by robots that would work for him, would never go on strike,
and were so lifelike
that he could fuck them, and it would feel like he was with the person?
I mean, that's their idea of utopia, because they're fucking sociopaths.
Not all of them, but generally speaking, they're sociopaths.
Is that the beginning of most sci-fi novels, and it's like the convenience of
it, and it's great,
and then the robots eventually take over?
Yeah.
Because they're smarter than us, and they've somehow been able to continue to
evolve beyond our programming?
Right.
Which is kind of like what her was about a little bit.
And then, yeah, and then basically what happens is then they forget that they
don't know how to,
well, actually a sci-fi movie.
What would happen was there'd be a few humans that they allow to live, and then
we work for them.
It's basically the Planet of the Apes fucking template over and over and over
again.
And then we come back, and either Mark Wahlberg or Morris Chestnut or one of
those fucking guys.
Ooh, Morris Chestnut, please.
Would be, um, is that really his name?
Yes, it is.
That sounds like the name of a cat.
Morris Chestnut?
Yeah, it does.
Like somebody who, like, lives with cats and not people, and then all of a
sudden just, like,
and gives them, like, real names.
Morris Chestnut.
That over there, that, now that's Morris Chestnut.
Strapping, hunking, chocolate piece of gorgeousness that's in movies.
You've never said that about me.
All right.
Uh.

Bill Burr & Nia - Email: Artificial Intelligence

Artificial intelligence. Also known as Bill Burr.
Oh, Jesus. Artificial intelligence.
And it's as long as there's intelligence in there, I'll take it.
And its impact on humanity.
Dear Bill Boo Baggins,
what are your thoughts on Tesla founder Elon Musk's warnings
on artificial intelligence?
I just love the fact that you think that I actually read it.
He said that through recursive self-improvement,
simple tasks like preventing spam could lead to an AI
determining humans are the problem.
Is this like a sci-fi script?
I know. Okay, yeah, I get it.
I'm totally interested, but I don't know what's going on here.
Recursive self-improvement means it could reason with itself.
Oh, this is like when you make a computer that has emotions like a human being?
Well, no, it's like he's talking about we're trying to get rid of spam
and email and stuff, but whatever program is like,
wait, there's a human being behind the spam.
There's a human being behind the Nigerian prince scheme
or the, oh my God, friend, I'm trapped in Denmark
and I've had my passport and all my money taken from me.
I don't think that is.
I think he's talking AI.
Simple tasks like preventing spam could lead to AI.
Artificial intelligence is a computer.
Yeah.
It's a robot.
Determining humans are the problem.
Yeah.
Okay.
So how is there a guy in Nigeria?
Recursive self-improvement.
It's saying like it's realizing that human beings are behind the spam in your
email.
Like there's someone.
Oh, I see what you're saying.
I see what you're saying.
Okay.
Sorry about that.
Oh, boy.
That's going to be a long one.
Keep going.
Recursive self-improvement means it could reason with itself
and incrementally improve to overcome obstacles that prevent it from fulfilling
its objectives.
I listened to previous podcasts and you've mentioned you think there would be a
backdoor
built into any AI machine robots by the powers that be.
However, using the recursive self-improvement that Elon mentioned,
an AI could eventually reason with itself that a backdoor preventing it from
fulfilling its mandate
must be ignored or overcome.
Elon Musk is very intelligent, having founded PayPal, SpaceX, and Tesla,
as well as playing a key role in SolarCity.
So I don't think his concerns should be taken lightly.
Here's a book that delves into the subject in more detail because I know you're
a deep thinker.
See what I'm saying?
They're all giving me shit.
Oh, that's funny.
Our final invention, Artificial Intelligence and the End of the Human Era.
Thanks for your fucking opinion.
Is this some sort of like 1984 type shit?
No, 1984 was humans on humans.
Oh, okay.
We'll see.
That's already going on.
That's already going on where someone who was our ally yesterday is now the
enemy
and then the enemy is now the ally and vice versa and all that type of shit.
So this is basically like the machines are getting so smart that they're going
to eventually like take over.
Yeah, here's the thing about machines, Nia.
They don't have legs.
The robots might.
Maybe that's his whole point.
Like the robots.
The robots I'm afraid of, but just like a computer.
Right.
It's like you don't have legs and you have an umbilical cord plugged into that
fucking wall over there and I will snip that fucker and I will dump water on
you and that's the end of you.
I will dump water on you.
Yeah.
Go dump water on your computer.
See what happens.
But aren't they talking about making robots that'll be able to like surpass all
of that shit and that's the scary part about it.
It's like you don't want to give them too much intelligence because like he was
saying, they'll learn that like, hey, wait, I've got this whole backdoor thing
and fuck that backdoor.
Yeah.
Well, because they're going to evolve beyond that.
Here's the thing.
What people don't understand.
Like in Her.
Did you ever see that movie Her with Joaquin Phoenix?
There was too much red.
There's just too much red.
He was the only one really that wore red.
But anyway, go on.
Anyways, this is what I feel.
People are acting like this, just some nerdy scientist.
I'm going to make this artificial intelligence bullshit.
It isn't.
It's rich people and rich people.
At the top want to phase out us.
They're sick of us like we are an inconvenience to them with our complaints and
our needs.
They want us to shut the fuck up.
They want us all to be making fucking slippers for them for fucking 50 cents a
month.
They want to have all the cars.
It's like when I went to the farmer's market yesterday, right?
To add to my effeminate weekend of pumpkin bread and driving a Prius.
Speaking of which, you need to store your strawberries more correctly because
they're just sitting out on the counter and they're going to go bad.
You know why?
You know why I left them out there?
Why?
Why did you leave your strawberries out on the counter?
Because they're not organic.
I went to a farmer's market and they actually just have regular, you have to
ask them, is this organic?
And they'll be like, well, you know, our farmers, blah, blah, blah, blah.
They can't even handle 200 people.
The grocery stores can't handle 200 fucking people walking into a parking lot
to buy some goddamn eggs.
They even have to get that money.
Like, they just, they don't, they want, they want it all.
The people at the top.
So can I have those strawberries if you're not going to eat them?
See, did you hear, did you hear that back and forth?
This is why we deserve to get fucking taken over.
Right here.
Because you can't keep people on, you just give a fuck about the strawberries.
I'm talking about the overall picture, man.
I don't care if the strawberries are organic or not.
That's not my cause right now.
I'm just, I like strawberries, so.
I'm trying to stay on topic with this.
I'm sorry, yes, yeah, let's stay.
Can you come near the mic, please?
So basically, what is he, what is this person asking you?
So he's asking me if I'm worried about artificial intelligence.
I actually think that there's human beings behind it.
And it's going to play out like the classic, like Frankenstein, where you build
it and then it comes back and kicks the shit out of you.
But like, I think, you know, a lot of people looking at us like, like human
beings as a collective.
What are we doing?
We aren't doing anything.
You're expendable.
I'm expendable.
We're an annoyance to them.
What, what, the reason why we're still here is because we pay taxes.
We pay interest.
They got their foot on the back of our fucking neck and we're helping to buy
like some more fucking gold coins for them every single month.
But eventually, but the thing, the big flaw with human beings is that we
complain and we pay attention and we go, hey, that isn't fair.
And I think super rich people are sick of it.
And it'd be great.
Wouldn't it be great if we could somehow get them to just work, not bitch and
not have to pay them at all?
What is the solution?
Let's make some fucking robots.
Yeah, but then, you know, the robots would be great.
But then who are we going to fucking pull over to the side of the road and have
them suck our dicks in the back of our limos?
Well, we got to make them more lifelike.
So they're going to try to make these lifelike robots that will do whatever the
fuck they want and suck their dicks and work out in the fields and all that
fucking shit.
But then eventually they're going to get overrun.
So you are concerned about artificial intelligence then?
No, I'm not concerned about it because there's nothing to stop it.
I just was talking to you about it and your main focus is the strawberries.
Right there, that little microcosm of that fucking conversation is why I tapped
out a conspiracy theory.
I will not talk, I mean, I'll just, I'll do it on this podcast because I don't
have to listen to somebody else either saying that's fucking bullshit or this
or that or that or here's my even crazier theory because I'm nuts.
Everybody's fucking nuts.
Everything has, the thing I believe, everything has a beginning, a middle, and
an end.
And human beings are no different and, you know, whatever.
I'm going to die anyway, so what the fuck do I care?
You know how you were talking about rich people being annoyed by non-rich
people?
I was just reading something online that was talking about a dear prudence, you
know, like an advice column over the weekend or something.
And there was a rich person that was saying, you know, I live in a very wealthy
community and, you know, there are billionaires and stuff around us.
For the most part, like the street where I live is just doctors and lawyers and
things.
Anyway, we just noticed that every Halloween there are all these people from
the poorer neighborhoods that come in and, like, you know, trick-or-treat and
ask for candy.
And I just really feel like we're already doing so much, you know, and paying
so many taxes for this, that, and the other.
Like, does Halloween now have to become a social service?
And basically the advice giver was like, wow, like, you are an asshole.
Like, it's Halloween.
It's kids and candy.
Like, are you really trying to make a bigger statement about society over
Halloween?
Wait a minute, wait a minute, you canceled Halloween at our house.
Not because of any sort of, like, class issue.
I canceled Halloween because people were coming over here acting like fucking
morons.
I don't want 40-year-old people just standing there dead-eyed looking at me
like, what's up with the candy?
Or high school kids who don't even have...
Well, isn't that what this guy's saying in a way?
Who don't even have the decency.
All right, well, then let's take the age of the people out of it.
High school kids who don't even have the decency to come in a fucking costume.
Who don't even have the decency to say trick-or-treat.
They stand there staring at you.
You would get an applause break in this guy's gated community right now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But it's like, come in a costume.
I usually don't like women of color, but this one makes sense.
Yeah, exactly.
It's like, don't come in here and be, like, fucking weird about it.
I don't care if whoever...
Any kid that comes into the neighborhood from wherever they are.
Halloween is awesome in that way because it's cute, fun kids.
They're excited about going out.
They're with their parents.
Their parents are like, say thank you.
Like, it's a lovely thing.
You give out candy to 8 o'clock at night, and then you turn the light out.
Exactly.
That's the thing.
I just...
The kids that come with no costumes, and it's like I'm afraid they're going to
egg the house,
so I feel like I have to give them candy.
Like, it's bullshit.
It's annoying.
I just want people to reciprocate the spirit of Halloween, okay?
It's not just me handing out candy.
I need a little something from you, too.
Can you imagine you're so broke that you look forward to Halloween so you can
fucking walk up
and try to get a candy bar from another adult?
Do you realize how fucking demoralizing that is?
I'm saying this to her, but we're getting off track.
We're getting off track.
It's terrible.
But there's also freeloaders out there, too.
But this is the thing.
This is the thing, NeNe, is what that guy is saying is how a lot of rich people
view people
who aren't rich.
We should be privileged that we're in their presence.
Yeah, like that type of guy.
That type of guy.
Do you think that that type of guy would give a shit if the rest of the world
got phased out
and was replaced by robots that would work for him, would never go on strike,
and were so lifelike
that he could fuck them, and it would feel like he was with the person?
I mean, that's their idea of utopia, because they're fucking sociopaths.
Not all of them, but generally speaking, they're sociopaths.
Is that the beginning of most sci-fi novels, and it's like the convenience of
it, and it's great,
and then the robots eventually take over?
Yeah.
Because they're smarter than us, and they've somehow been able to continue to
evolve beyond our programming?
Right.