Name: Bill Burr - Stock Market / Poisoning Food Supply
Uploaded: 2014-11-25T14:18:36.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Stock Market / Poisoning Food Supply' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-11-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Stock Market / Poisoning Food Supply' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2014-11-25. Transcript available.

The stock market, Billy Market Belt, are you involved in the buying and trading
of stocks or mutual funds?
Do you have a business manager diversifying your shit?
Come to San Diego and go fuck yourself.
That is an unbelievably personal fucking question, but I'll answer it.
This is what I think about the stock market.
I think it's like Vegas.
It's just a crap table.
And I think insider trading happens all the time, and I think there's people
who go in and they drive the market up, and then they pull their money out, and
it falls down, and then they buy it low, and they do it all the fucking time.
And the same people that do that put the money behind these campaigns for the
people who become president and only make $500,000 a fucking year, and that's
why people look the other way.
And then once they have you fucking 20 years, they throw a celebrity chef in
jail to make it seem like they're doing something.
So, am I in the stock market?
Sort of, but not really.
I'm super conservative, and I just look at my retirement account that I just
want it to still be there.
I'm not worried about it gaining interest.
I'm just more worried about the sum of the money.
But I don't look at my retirement fund like it's even going to be there, the
way these banks are fucking running wild, as Hulk Hogan says.
And nobody is trying to stop these guys.
And I've lately been fucking bitching about why we're still having fucking wards
over in the Middle East and fighting fucking terrorist groups of 30 fucking
people who don't even have a fucking airplane.
You know what I mean?
Like they're going to come over here and do something to us?
And like what?
Destroy this fucking company?
And of course, of course, of course they could come over here and they could
fucking blow something up.
Yeah, all right.
We're going to survive that.
Do we need to spend billions of fucking dollars over there?
Going after 30,000 fucking jerk offs?
You know?
Meanwhile, you got insurance companies and bankers raping everybody over here.
And then you got other people poisoning the food supply.
You know?
What do they got there?
They're so fucking powerful.
Like you're not even allowed to say what's in the food.
You got this dumb shit.
You're watching the World Series and they have stand up for cancer.
And nobody's talking about the fucking food supply.
And then if you criticize this, I'm standing up for cancer, like you don't give
a shit about it.
And they just start, they always just start yelling at people.
And they never yell at the fucking five fucking guys that they could actually
change the shit.
It drives me up the fucking wall.
It's like that whole fucking no more campaign.
It's classic NFL.
Classic NFL.
Like they're reprimanding you.
Like you were the one who didn't show that whole fucking tape.
At the very least, they're trying to say we're all guilty.
It's like, no, you're guilty, you cunt.
So whatever.
So that's what I say.
I say bring the boys and girls home.
And, you know, we start out, we invade the fucking people that are putting all
this crazy shit in the food supply.
I'd start with that.
I'd knock on some banker's house.
You know?
You're like, what the fuck are you doing?
You know?
That's, would make everybody's life way better.
I would think.
Rather than going after fucking 5,000 people working out on a jungle gym.
Billy, you're kind of oversimplifying things.
Well, that's what I do.
If you don't like it, listen to another fucking podcast.
You want to listen to somebody who reads?
Yeah, go listen to Joe Rogan.
There's an informed human being.
All right?
You listen to the Joe Rogan experience to learn things.
You listen to my podcast to feel better about yourself, to feel smarter.
You know?
Does that make you feel good, hon?
That you're smarter than me?
Well, fuck you, all right?