Name: Bill Burr - Ginger Seal and Fracking
Uploaded: 2015-03-31T13:53:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Ginger Seal and Fracking' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-03-31. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Ginger Seal and Fracking' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-03-31. Transcript available.

Somebody sent me this picture. This is the saddest fucking pictures I've ever
seen.
It was of a seal that was born like a redhead.
And the entire seal community just rejected this seal.
And they take this fucking picture of this seal, and it's all by itself.
And looking way off in the distance are all the other seals that it just wants
to hang out and play with,
you know, and learn how to fucking fish and not get eaten by a shark or
whatever.
And they just totally leave it alone.
It's unbelievable.
This is just like we're fucking animals.
Same thing.
Same fucking treatment I got on the goddamn playground.
It's happening to a fucking seal.
I saw that seal.
And you know what kills me is the people that, like, take pictures of it and
don't interfere in nature.
It's like, would it kill you to take that thing home with you?
Just get one of those above-ground pools.
You know?
Let the fucking thing hang out a couple times a year.
It comes in for the Super Bowl.
You know?
Come up on the couch there, redheaded seal.
I feel your pain.
I have empathy.
Who do you got?
Don't fucking say Seattle.
You're going to be back outside.
It's one of the saddest fucking pictures I've ever seen.
It's one of the saddest fucking pictures I've ever seen.
I can't get it out of my head.
It just, it fucking killed me.
It fucking killed me.
It's unreal.
It's unreal the human things that I can laugh at.
But you show me a fucking sad animal and it crushes me.
It's why I stopped watching the Discovery Channel like a decade ago.
I don't watch any fucking nature shows because I know how it's going to start.
It's going to start with me being all wide-eyed and excited and enjoying the
program.
And then it is the inevitable.
And then man came and fucked everything up.
I'll tell you right now, if you work for a fucking corporation, I mean, can you
slowly work your way out of not working for one?
Is it even possible?
I was watching, did you guys see that clip?
I retweeted it.
Somebody sent it to me of, you know, they're doing that fracking out in
Nebraska.
Horizontal drilling, whatever the fuck it is.
And however they go about it, people are claiming that it pollutes the fucking
drinking water.
So this farmer comes in.
He talks about all the great drinking water that they have in Nebraska.
And then he pours in the goop.
He's sitting there at this town meeting.
And he's allowed to talk.
So he asked these cunts that work for the fracking company.
He said, hey, would you drink this water?
I just want you to answer me that.
Would you drink this water?
And then the fucking chairman of the board goes, you're not allowed to ask them
questions.
All you're allowed to do is come up and make comments.
It's like, well, then what the fuck are we doing here?
You're supposed to let me just say what I have to say and then I run along.
And then you fucking let these guys destroy the drinking water in this state
because you don't make any fucking money as a politician.
I don't know.
I watched that thing and I got to commend that, that, that Nebraska guy for
fucking not flipping out.
Oh, you know, I'm just allowed to make comments.
Well, here's my comment.
At least go and dump it over their fucking heads.
What kind of fucking people are involved in a goddamn business like that that
ends up polluting the fucking drinking water?
And you're so thinking about all you give a fuck is your next quarter profits.
Like, where is that all going to go?
Like, where, where does, what's the end game in that?
You just keep having a more profitable thing.
Then there's no more clean drinking water.
And then what?
You've made enough money to have the machine to fucking have, make sure you
have clean drinking water and everybody else fucking dies.
And you somehow justify it is you lie in your giant fucking bed.
Oh, I'm on a rant here.
It's so fucking depressing.
I mean, that's why I sit around.
I watch sports.
I watch people build cars.
Those are like the two fucking areas that I can kind of stay in where I can
kind of, I don't know.
Nobody says anything racist.
Nobody pollutes drinking water.
And there's not a redheaded seal who just wants to be part of the fucking group.
Just sitting there looking all sad.
The thing was a fucking baby.
She had a baby, man.
And they just, they fuck, you know what?
Fuck seals.
You know what?
Fuck all those fucking seals.
I'm glad they get eaten by those goddamn sharks.
I used to give a shit about seals.
Now that I know that they're fucking racists.
Bunch of cunts.
You know what it is, too?
I bet there was some seals down there that didn't give a fuck.
They just went along with the group and sat there silently.
Right?
As the one bully seal.
Oh, Jesus, Bill.
Is this about the seals or your fucking childhood?
All right.