Name: Bill Burr - The Food Supply
Uploaded: 2015-05-02T13:15:32.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - The Food Supply' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-05-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - The Food Supply' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-05-02. Transcript available.

Let me scroll. Oh, wait. McDonald's. Hey, did you guys see McDonald's is
closing some, uh...
McDonald's had to start closing some stores. Did I already talk about this? I
can't fucking remember.
I was talking the other day how our food supply has basically become poison,
and I got a couple people sending me,
Hey, Bill, care to send me some links to some of your research you did?
I understand. I'm worthy of that criticism, but also, if you're really going to
sit there and try to tell me
that I'm not at least half right on how fucked up our food supply is right now.
All right? I'll give you this right now. Here's my... I'll cite this source.
When I was a kid, a chicken was like maybe one or two weight classes above a
fucking pigeon.
And I'm not talking about a Cornish hen. All right? Some little fucking partridge.
I'm talking about a full-size adult chicken that lived a whole life,
accomplished its dreams before it got its head fucking lopped off.
Now, like, chickens look like Mark McGuire in 1998.
They're fucking gigantic. They're like Turkey Juniors.
So, like, what are the chickens doing now?
Huh? They hitting the gym?
Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop.
Sorry.
Um...
They're doing dips.
Drinking some protein shakes. Give me a fucking break.
Give me a fucking break. I don't trust anything.
And that does not make me somebody with a tinfoil hat on.
It makes me fucking smart.
I love how the cigarette people, for years, sat there and they're like,
I don't think nicotine is addicting.
Then they passed it to another guy.
I do not think nicotine is addicting.
According to my studies, nicotine is not addicting.
They all knew it was.
They didn't give a fuck.
All right?
But that's what they hitched their wagons to.
So they continued to lie.
You look at the fucking bankers that lie at that level.
Everybody lies at that fucking...
Everybody lies in general.
Right?
Forget about when there's a bunch of money, whores, and power involved.
Right?
The food is no different.
Why would you trust those cunts?
You know?
I don't know.
But you know what?
Go ahead and do it.
Have at it.
For as much as I sit here in bitch mode and complain about it,
I actually tried to eat, like, totally farmer's market, all of that stuff.
It was practically impossible.
First of all, you go down to the farmer's markets,
and the big farms, they're already in there,
and they just can legally have, like, you know,
they're fucking products called, you know,
homegrown Eddie's, you know?
And that's just the name of some giant corporation
that's got, you know, God knows what in their fucking food.
Right?
And when I actually went to this farmer's market,
I was like, I wanted to buy a chicken,
that it was just a fucking chicken.
Right?
I didn't want to buy, who's that guy who fucking ran that race
and beat Carl Lewis?
The Ben Johnson.
I didn't want the Ben Johnson fucking chicken, you know?
And this guy had all these things.
They all say they were organic, all say they were natural,
and I pointed at each one of them.
I forget the question I was supposed to ask.
I learned it in this documentary.
I asked, and the guy shook his head no.
Went to the next one, shook his head no.
I said, where is one that just was a fucking chicken
and ate what chickens ate in the 1920s?
And he goes, all the way down there.
And I looked at it, and I was like, that's a fucking chicken?
And he goes, yeah.
That's what they look like when you don't fucking,
when they don't have the same workout program
as Lyle Alzado.
Right?
So, whatever.
Don't listen to me.
Don't give a fuck.
Laugh at me.
Think I'm a fucking moron.
But just realize you're not a fucking scientist either.
Okay?