Name: Bill Burr - Tom Brady Gets Suspended 4 Games
Uploaded: 2015-05-15T13:01:48.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Tom Brady Gets Suspended 4 Games' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-05-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Tom Brady Gets Suspended 4 Games' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-05-15. Transcript available.

I gotta tell you, you know, I was fucking ragging the last two podcasts about
Tom Brady, and I gotta be honest, man, what a difference a couple of days makes.
This is all gradually just gonna blow over, with real sports fans, people who
just straight up hate the Patriots, well, fucking, now they're saying Aaron Rodgers
likes his ball a little overinflated,
Minnesota heats up the footballs, and Tom Brady lets a little bit out. At the
end of the day, you still gotta throw the fucking thing, right?
He's a fucking idiot saying he's cheating. Is that all you have to do to make
it in the NFL, is let a little bit of air out, and all of a sudden the ball
goes exactly where you want it to be?
It's so fucking dumb, but I'm looking for the Patriots to, you know, Brady's
already hired a lawyer. They're gonna go at this fucking thing.
I think we're sick of other teams in the league fucking doing all this cunty
shit to us, trying to make it look like we're a bunch of cheaters, when we're
not.
We're just kicking your fucking asses, and why don't you grow up? Why don't you
take your fucking skirt off, and just play the fucking game, and quit looking
under every goddamn jockstrap,
because we could do the same thing to you, alright? You bunch of pussies. Sorry.
I'm really just talking about the Jets, I'm talking about the Colts, and I'm
talking about every other sports bar cunt out there.
I love, too, how everybody acts like they've never been guilty of any sort of
gamesmanship, looking for a fucking edge, right?
You never took a test and kind of glanced over at the smart chick's fucking
paper over there, right?
A little gamesmanship.
Whatever.
I'm actually in a great sports mood at this point, because I've realized at
this point that I think Goodell, after all he went through last year with the
Ray Rice thing,
with under-suspending somebody, now he's like a fucking, like a baby poisonous
snake, just unleashing all the venom when he doesn't need to do that, you know?
I guess it's within every team's right if they want to fucking, I mean, I don't
know, I look at it like when they said George Brett had too much fucking pine
tower on his bat.
Oh, really? Is that why he hit the fucking home run to win the game? Really?
Because he had too much sticky stuff, so he got a better grip on it?
That little bit of extra sticky stuff, you know, if you never hit a home run in
a major league ballpark, I don't know if you know this,
all you have to do is put a little pine tower a little bit beyond the label on
the bat, and the thing's going to be jumping right off the bat.
It's crazy, man. I don't know why McGuire and those guys, you know, poisoned
their bodies with all those steroids.
All they needed was just a little bit of sticky stuff on their bat, and then
forget it.
Let's get to the hashtags here. Anyways, reports show the NFL may listen to
podcasts.
Brady's suspension could be overturned. It better be overturned. You know what
I think all Patriot fans should do?
Every Patriot fan should go watch that fucking documentary on Scientology, and
rather than judging Scientology,
you know, you should really, we'll look at it and be like, well, you could
really make that documentary about any religion.
Every religion at the core is a giant fucking guess, right? But the greatest
thing about getting clear is Scientology wanted to be recognized as a religion,
and then get that tax break. And the IRS is like, no, you guys are a cult. Give
me a break.
You know, you're talking about spaceships. We don't believe in that stuff, so
fuck you guys.
And they basically sued them. They had like 2,500, 2,700 of their members
individually filed a lawsuit against the IRS.
Never been defeated. The fucking Mayweather, right? The Rocky Marciano of, I
don't even think they are a government agency, are they?
Aren't they work for the Federal Reserve, which is a private group of people
that print the money?
I don't fucking know. All I know is the shit I overhear in buzz.
So, they defeated them. 2,700 individual lawsuits from one group defeated the
fucking IRS.
So, there you go. I say, if they don't overturn this fucking Tom Brady
suspension,
I am going to fucking rally every Patriot fan I know to sue the NFL, all right,
for emotional damage done for you guys lying about our quarterback who looks
like a fucking astronaut, okay?
We'll fucking sue you. Wouldn't that be great? Just fucking overturn it?
Then we'd be called a bunch of crying, whining assholes, but who gives a fuck?
That'd be fun. Can't come into work today, dude.
Talking to my lawyer about my fucking lawsuit against the fucking NFL.
I really think we ought to do that.
Fucking childish. When is, when, I'm still waiting for the day that the light
is gradually going to shine on Jim Irsay.
Somebody at some point, can you look under one fucking rock and just take a
look at that guy?
I'll give you a hint. He sits on the competition committee.
Start with that. Just start with that and just look what happened when he sat
there,
what his team looked like, what his team's strengths were,
and what were some of the new rules that got implemented?
I know, I know. I'm fucking going crazy.
I should be standing here with a fucking legal pad next to a fireplace doing
stand-up in front of three people.
Oh, look at that.
Somebody made a new logo for the Colts.
It's a blue and white pacifier right on the side of their fucking,
right on the side of their helmet.
I love it.
Please, more of that.
I would really enjoy it.