Name: Bill Burr - Tom Brady Will Appeal Suspension /Jim Irsay Is A Baby
Uploaded: 2015-05-19T14:43:39.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Tom Brady Will Appeal Suspension /Jim Irsay Is A Baby' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-05-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Tom Brady Will Appeal Suspension /Jim Irsay Is A Baby' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-05-19. Transcript available.

So, Tom Brady's going to appeal this suspension, of course.
By the way, I want somebody in the last 40 years of me watching sports,
I want somebody to fucking find something in the last 40 years.
A more, something dumber to get suspended for.
Four fucking games.
All right?
So, the Patriots are going to appeal it, obviously.
The Patriots actually just sat down and wrote a 20,000-word report
in rebuttal to this Wells report.
I mean, how many fucking trees are we going to cut down
and chop down over this fucking horse shit
before everybody just admits that Jim Irsay is a fucking baby?
You know what I mean?
So, now, Goodell, who's just every time he should zig, he fucking zags.
So, Brady's going to appeal it, and Roger Goodell is going to be the arbitrator.
It's a fucking joke.
It was a witch hunt from day one, and now you've got a kangaroo court.
It's fucking hilarious.
You're going to arbitrate the fucking thing?
That's like if I'm fucking suing you, and then I'm going to be the judge.
Who do you think is going to win?
It's the dumbest shit ever.
I think this is actually going to end up in a real court,
at which point it will be laughed out, and it'll be over.
Now, I think they still could suspend him because corporations are allowed to
have rules within the rules of society.
So, I mean, shit, they wanted to.
They could say you could never play football again because at the end of the
day,
it is a corporation that Tom Brady works for.
It's absolute fucking bullshit, though.
And what I'm really enjoying is the people that are taking it seriously,
that are really looking at, like, yeah, dude, he is a fucking cheater.
Like, this whole thing isn't complete horse shit.
What's great about it is it's always those mouth-breathing moron.
I haven't found one intelligent fan that I have talked to that actually thinks
that this isn't fucking stupid.
You know who thinks this is fucking real?
People who go to fucking sports bars.
And I know Patriot fans go to sports bars, too.
And I know that there's the mouth-breathing fucking moron demographic of the
Patriots fan base.
But I'm talking all those other ones from the 31 other teams because they
fucking hate the Patriots.
Those people who go all day, all day, you know, fucking high-fiving, wearing a
goddamn jersey
with fucking hot wing sauce all over your fucking goatee.
Those dopes, those man-titted dopes, they will forever say that they're fucking
cheaters.
But you know what?
I'm fine with it because they're fucking morons.
But I'll tell you right now, Tom Brady, one of the greatest quarterbacks of all
time,
is being fucking railroaded on such a ridiculous fucking level.
They're just ignoring everything.
They're ignoring that they don't have any fucking evidence.
All they have is circumstantial horseshit.
They're ignoring the fact this guy over-inflates, this guy heats up the ball.
Quarterbacks from the past, the fucking Jets quarterback came out.
He's fucking going on and on and on about how he used to do that all the
fucking time.
And that guy sucked.
Didn't make him play any better.
Jesus Christ, why don't you fucking, I don't know.
I know, I've been talking about this three times in a row,
but I'll continue to talk about it because I think it's absolute fucking horseshit.
Obviously, if he didn't fucking realize it by now, that I think it's absolute
bullshit.
So anyways, with that, with that, fucking half a cut hair of air out of the
ball,
and that's why you lost by 38 points.
Really?
That's all I need to do to start throwing strikes when I get out there?
Good fucking Lord.
Good.
Let's like fining somebody in the NBA for cheating because of the level that he
wears his socks.
Well, he had his socks too low.
That's why he hit those fucking 12 three-pointers to fucking beat us.
Give me a break.
Jim Irsay is the biggest fucking baby, baby fucking owner ever.
Get that guy a fucking pass of fire.
We lost.
There must be something wrong with the rules.
Somebody change him.
Oh, wait.
I sit on the rules committee.
I think I'll change him.
From a lady.
From a lady.
Bill, I love your stuff.
But were you this angry over that dog-murdering psycho Vic being allowed back
in the NFL?
No, because he fucking spent two years in Leavenworth prison.
You know?
A Brady suspension is certainly one of the organization's lesser offenses.
What do you mean?
Of the Patriots?
What else do we have?
What else suspension do we have?
Spygate?
Fifteen fucking years ago?
What do we have before that?
We got nothing.
We got one fucking suspension in the 50 years of a franchise?
Jesus fucking Christ.
Were you this angry over that dog-murdering psycho?
Yeah, I have a pit bull.
What the fuck do you think?
I thought it was disgusting.
And then they gave him two years in Leavenworth.
Leavenworth fucking prison.
There's murderers and rapists in there.
The guy's career, he was never the same.
Never came back as a healthy start or anything.
It completely fucked his whole life up.
What else more did you want done to Michael Vick?
Well, that was an easy one.
No, I was absolutely thrilled.
I wasn't angry at Michael Vick.
I was sick over it.
I was sick, fucking confused.
How anybody could fucking do that.
And then, you know, I don't know.
Two years sitting in a fucking jail cell?
Leavenworth prison?
Yeah, I mean, I would say that he paid the fucking price.
You know, that's going to follow him for the rest of his fucking life.
And, you know, I mean, I don't, what else did you want done to the guy?
I know, you're one of those psycho dog lovers, right?
Fucking drown him and shoot him in the fucking head.
You know, one of those people.
All right, dad is a junk food addict.
I hate that, by the way, like when you fucking flip out of some fucking
bullshit like that
and somebody's going to bring up something else, you know?
Well, what about the fucking moon coming closer to the earth?
Isn't that more important?
It's like, yeah, but, you know, we weren't talking about that, were we?
Well, actually, no, that's a bad example because that would be fucking
something in the present
if that was actually happening, right?
This was something that happened.
The guy got caught.
He went to jail.
He lost.
He lost his career and spent two years in Leavenworth prison.
I thought it was done.
I am one of those people, though.
After that, and he went to jail for two fucking years,
I am one of those people that then goes, all right, you paid the price.
I'm not one of those guys who just goes, fuck you for fucking ever, you know?
You know, these people who, you know, want to solve shit,
but they punish people and then they never take them off punishment
and never give them a chance to fucking try to put their life back together.
Good luck to Roger Goodell, you know?
I know he's got a tough case coming up where he's on one side of it and he's
judging it.
Good luck to you, Roger.
I hope you're able to somehow, you know, really bring the hammer down, you know?
Really bring the hammer down.
Two games for fucking knocking out your fiancé in an elevator,
but four games for letting a cunt hair of air out of a ball in a 38-point loss.
You know, why don't you look at ESPN's study where they show it was a
disadvantage,
for fuck's sakes, whatever.
What are you going to do?
All right, that's it.
You know, not to say that what Michael did was, Vic did was lesser.
Go fuck yourselves.
I'll talk to you on Thursday when I'm just checking in on you.