Name: Bill Burr - Ring Video Doorbell
Uploaded: 2015-06-19T13:09:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Ring Video Doorbell' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-06-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Ring Video Doorbell' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-06-19. Transcript available.

Alright, right out of the bat. This sounds fucking creepy to me. Video doorbell.
Will insert dinging sound. What does that mean? I was supposed to fucking
insert ding-dongs?
Alright, let's do it again. I can do this. Here we go. Doorbell.
Sound. This is like Donald Trump announcing he's running for president.
Doorbell sound effect. Did you mean doorbell all one word? Of course I did.
Let's see if I can do this correctly. Alright.
Hey everybody, video doorbell.
Let's do that again. Oh, I'm adding all kinds of layers to the podcast here.
Hang on a second. It's got to fucking, it's got to reload here.
Hey everybody, I'd like to take a little bit of time
to talk about video doorbell.
What is video? Oh, that was the shit.
Video doorbell.
This is the sound of a package being delivered
or friends coming over for dinner.
But it's also the sound of someone planning to rob you blind.
Jesus Christ, that took a left turn, didn't it?
Over 95% of home break-ins happen during the day.
And all right.
Who is it?
What's going on here?
Oh, I think I'm stuck in one of those YouTube loops
where they just keep playing the fucking, the doorbell.
Well, I think it works with the copy. I'm going to keep it.
Anyways, and burglars always, almost always start by ringing the doorbell
to see if someone's home before pillaging your possessions.
I guess that's a fancier doorbell.
Oh, I like this music too.
With ring video doorbell, you can see and talk to anyone
at your door from anywhere in the world
using your smartphone.
Hi.
I'm Bill Burr.
What's happening?
Is this a DJ party?
Um, okay.
I think we're having a fire alert here.
Okay, back to the copy.
Rings advanced motion detection alerts you
even if someone doesn't ring the doorbell.
It's like a caller ID for your home.
You know, millions of people suffer every year
and they don't have a video doorbell.
Please share a personal story
or how this could help you or someone you love.
Hey, will you share a fucking personal story, you cunt?
Isn't it enough I'm reading your copy?
I don't know anybody who has a video fucking doorbell.
How does that work for you?
That's your story.
You like another one?
I'm sorry.
Concealing ring takes minutes
and it works with either your current wiring
or a built-in rechargeable battery.
Put your mind at ease
and protect your home
and your parakeet
with the video doorbell.
Time magazine named one of the top 10 gadgets of 2014.
Sure, it'll kill more porpoises
because eventually you have to throw out the wires
and they will end up in the ocean.
But right now,
my listeners get the ring video doorbell
for only $174.
That's $25 off the normal price.
Still kind of expensive, though, you know?
Door fucking house comes with a doorbell already attached.
You're still making payments.
Anyways,
go to ring.com slash burr now.
Protect your home
and have peace of mind
with ring.
Go to ring.com slash burr
for $25 off.
Once again,
that's ring.com slash burr.
Oh, and he fades out the music.
Jesus Christ,
I could be a DJ.
Put a fucking mouse head on me
and see what happens.
I'll tell you what'll happen, huh?
A bunch of drugs will be taken.
Um,
how much can I freak out people
at one of those raves?
If you just had the DJ
and he's playing all this mellow shit,
then all of a sudden,
out of nowhere,
I just started coming out
with a mouse head screaming cunt
over and over again.
I would love to have
an overhead shot of that,
you know?
Maybe using one of those drones
and just watching them all scatter
like fucking roaches
all across the desert,
stepping on sidewinders.