Name: Bill Burr - Reno, 9 Millimeter Story
Uploaded: 2015-06-26T13:43:29.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Reno, 9 Millimeter Story' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-06-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Reno, 9 Millimeter Story' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-06-26. Transcript available.

hey what's going on it's bill burr and it's time for the thursday afternoon
monday morning podcast
just before friday afternoon and i'm just checking in on you just checking in
on you
how's it going how's your week going oh are you having a bad one what's the
matter huh did they
switch out the water bubbler did they bring in a different one i think the
water tasted better
you know i like all waters i don't like dasani is that what it's called and i
don't like evian
evian takes weird a minute i don't know all those models on tv they always
swear by it but i think
it takes weird um all right i am in the middle of um this fucking nameless tour
the tour that doesn't
and me and joe bartnick if i do say so myself we uh i'm doing this on the i'm
sitting on the
bus because the goddamn room isn't ready i just got shut down right i came in
trying to walk
in like i was some sort of big shot like i could check in at 1 30 and they're
like i'm sorry sir
checking is at three go yourself and i was like but wait a minute i'm the
dancing clown at the casino
tonight i was hoping i could bring in my unicycle a little bit early sir get
the out of our hotel we
don't want to see you until three o'clock and i was like oh okay i need to get
some sort of reuben
kincaid some sort of i don't want a tour manager it's just somebody else you
have to talk to you know
deal with this why is the engine getting louder i don't can you hear it it's
gonna be this hum in
the background you don't have to deal with that i don't i don't sorry this
humming in the background
he's driving me up the wall here so anyways i forgot to tell you guys this
story last week
so we're in reno right reno and uh i told you i have a bunch of drunks there a
lot of drunks or
whatever mixed in with a bunch of great people and uh so afterwards i'm whoring
myself out right
i'm whoring myself out i'm signing the posters shaking hands kissing babies
doing all that
and this dude reaches in he goes is it okay if i get a picture it's just like
yeah
just i'm taking them with everybody well i'm just gonna say you can't have one
maybe he's
just being polite but you know just get on with it you already know the cell
phone's gonna take for
ever i really miss disposable cameras that was just a little crank and then
point shoot and it was done
you know you press the photo on the cell phone thing it takes like you know
like nine hours and
then also then they look at it they go i gave up blurry let me do it again no
that isn't right like
can we also take landscape do you want to get a selfie can i take one with this
pant fucking camera
even though i just got one with the other camera and i have the technology to
send it to that other
camera can i do it with that camera so i'm dealing with all of that shit so
this fucking guy comes up
and he's like uh can i get a picture i say yeah obviously you know i'm a
fucking whore you can
do whatever you want or myself out here so he reaches into his fucking jacket
and all of a sudden
just this sound of metal and plastic a nine millimeter that he had on him drops
down onto the
ground the security guy is like two feet away facing the guy who just dropped
the gun but he's on his
iphone texting or selecting something and the guy i just go i go dude what the
fuck and he's like oh
right we both said the same thing both said both of that at the same time he
picks it up and i'm like
do you have a license to carry that thing and he goes yeah yeah i'm in law
enforcement and uh i was
like all right and then he just sort of walked out and then i say to the
security guy go i go dude did
you just see that and he goes what i said that guy just dropped a nine
millimeter on the ground right in
front he reached in to get his camera it just fell right down on the ground and
the security guy goes
ah she's lucky i didn't see that i swear to god it was like a line from a
sitcom oh he's lucky i didn't
see that it's like dude it almost landed on your fucking foot you know you get
so zoned out by these
smartphones and then i'm thinking about myself like wait a minute bill this guy
you don't know him from
adam he reaches into his coat and dropped the gun how do you know he wasn't
reaching in to point it
at you you should have kicked it tipped him over and fucking as he bent down
push him over and then
picked it up or ran instead of being like oh do you have a license for that
like i'm some sort of
authority so it's just so rest of the night just going like what a fucking moron
i am and um
this cop later told me goes no you actually did the right thing you know you
stayed calm you blah blah blah
blah it's just like yeah i did the right thing because staying calm and he and
he wasn't a psycho
i don't know whatever uh now now i have to learn not to do that what to do if
if somebody's nine
millimeter falls in the ground bottom line is even though he was a cop he wasn't
allowed to bring that
in there on the casino property because i think it was a uh owned by uh native
americans or something maybe
that's why i have no idea but he wasn't allowed to bring it in there so they uh
they chased him down
um and that was that's my reno story or bud my fucking reno story janet reno