Name: Bill Burr - P Diddy Arrested
Uploaded: 2015-07-03T13:26:29.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - P Diddy Arrested' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-07-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - P Diddy Arrested' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-07-03. Transcript available.

let's plow ahead here um i need to apologize specifically heartfelt apologies
from the
lovely nia to the person last week that wrote the the quite the the
hypothetical about p diddy
and the kettlebell and 15 million bucks it just seems so fucking random um i
think we were out
of the country when that whole thing happened or i don't know what we were
doing but we missed for
those of you who also live under a rock or maybe just have better shit to do
with your life uh p
diddy was arrested on ucla's campus monday for getting into a fight with the
bruins assistant
coach early monday afternoon and later charged with three counts of assault
with a deadly weapon
one count of making terrorist threats and one count of battery making terrorist
threats what is that
how fucking murder your whole family you know this shit you yell when you're
mad terrorist threats
the fuck constitutes a terrorist threat at this point i'm having a bottled
water and your carry
on um yes you read that correctly and yes that p diddy and then of course the
snarky comment he'll
always be puff daddy to me oh sam cooper um diddy's son justin combs is a red
shirt junior defensive back
for the bruins he's that fucking old i remember living in manhattan when he was
a kid and diddy had
that fucking uh restaurant called justin's he was a little kid they used to do
stand-up down there and
p diddy would come in there and he would heckle the fucking comics it was a
brutal gig um he's played in
seven games combined over the past two seasons this is his kid registering four
tackles according
to uh these people here one of us ucla's assistant coaches was screaming at
justin on the field and
diddy later confronted the coach and grabbed him as a result diddy 45 was
arrested for assault and remains
in custody at the campus jail isn't that hilarious who would have thought that
sean combs was a
helicopter parent shouldn't you be like flipping out at like his pop warner
game it's like he's a man now
i don't know maybe it's hard fucking watching your kid getting screamed i have
no idea ucla later
confirmed the report and said that uh sean combs let's just use his real name
was charged with
assault with a deadly weapon with the weapon being a kettlebell a piece of
weightlifting equipment for
all you lazy bastards out there um here's ucla's full statement shortly after
12 30 pm today sean combs
aka p diddy was arrested at ucla's acosta athletic training camp but we already
we already know this
shit he said i'm thankful that our staff showed the level of professionalism
that they did in handling
this situation well how difficult was it it's a bunch of football people here's
a picture of what are
you doing you know at some point you just got to give in to the fact that your
kid's not going to make
the pros sit there attacked and uh uh a assistant coach get your goddamn head
in the game and all of
a sudden do you think he did one of those little ditty dances you know as he
came over you remember
that thing he did where he bent over at the waist and kind of just walked up
with his shoulders going up
and down the p the i the d the d the y the d d d hold up remember that and that
guy from uh meet the
parents ben kingsley bent uh ben uh ben uh sizzlewitz ben shenanigans ben stiller
ben stiller was in
that right he did the whole beginning thing like he was his neighbor and then
sean combs did his his
what he thinks is hilarious that deadpan look at the camera and turns his head
to the side and you
could just hear all the white people laughing like it was the funniest thing
ever oh instead of going
like listen sean mr combs i i i want to tell you that sucks but you just gotten
into that incident where
you're saying the gun was shines is that his name remember that guy who went to
jail it's back when
diddy was still banging uh what's her face there the chick from uh jennifer lopez
right before she was
with ben affleck before she was with the backup dancer before she got with the
uh that guy that
looks like latino anthony cumia
what the was that guy's name what did he sing he sang one of these saying all
those
oh jesus what the was that guy's name
pieza dora oh it's something junior isn't it freddy prince jr
i don't what are you gonna do what are you gonna do that you know what it's
unfortunate
parents i'm not a parent so i can say this with confidence you know i can say
this without prejudice
sometimes your kids just can't play at the next level you know you just gotta
you gotta deal with
it and they're gonna get yelled at at the collegiate level because you think
that assistant coach wants
to be the assistant coach for the rest of his life he doesn't he wants to be
the head coach and then he
wants to get to the pros that's what he wants to do and sometimes your kids
getting in the way of that
dream you know and they they got they got to yell at him so uh i'm gonna go out
on a limb having not
seen any of the footage say that obviously there was a complete overreaction
but i will say that
no terrorist threat was made under the definition of the law i'm sure it was a
terrible terrorist threat
like i'll kill your whole family or something you know i'll blow this place up
like
people used that that's just an expression for when i was growing up burn this
i'll burn the room down
next thing you know right people step up from behind the bushes and you put it
on a most wanted list