Name: Bill Burr - Happy 4th Of July 2015
Uploaded: 2015-07-03T13:34:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Happy 4th Of July 2015' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-07-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Happy 4th Of July 2015' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-07-03. Transcript available.

hey what's going on it's bill burr and this is the thursday afternoon monday
morning podcast
just before friday afternoon and i
just checking in on you what's going on for july 2nd 2015 happy birthday to
america
happy birthday to woo woo woo america happy birthday uncle sammy happy birthday
to you
go fuck yourself all right it's it's it's it's it's the fucking birthday of
this country and you know
what that means right you get out there in your truck you get yourself a big
old burger
undo your fucking top button and most of your zipper let that belly out let it
walk around
i'll tell you what fourth of july in los angeles i will tell you it's like no
other place seriously
like they they it's an absolute fucking free-for-all you can shoot off
essentially whatever the fuck you
want wherever you want regardless of safety and uh we are now in the fourth
year evidently of the
drought now i knew we were having water issues i didn't realize that it was the
fourth year because
either i wasn't paying attention or uh they're finally starting to report on it
so it is dry
dry as can be you know dry as a fucking white guy's torso
um anyways so i am predicting once again last year was the first time you know
i go up i go up
on the roof i go up on the roof and i watch the fireworks you know i fucking
put a little lawn chair
down this is the end of the day right i just sit up there and i smoke a cigar
and i have my fucking my
miller high life plural exactly i have a hell of a time getting back down
because there's you know the
only way to get up on the roof is by a ladder right so um but i just sit up
there and i just
i just watch all of them going off and uh i think it was last year or the year
before was the first time i
saw it i saw some something basically fireworks show worthy lit lit off by just
some jackass
on a street that has a bunch of palm trees and apartment buildings and i saw it
explode
and it started to go out and then it started to go up again and we were all
standing up there going
is that on fire is that fucking place on fire fortunately it was right around
the block from the
fire station and i gotta tell you i gotta hand it to the uh lafd the fire
department that fucking
thing caught on fire there their uh sirens came on within the minute and they
were over there the
whole thing was done within like swear to god two or three minutes which was
incredible and i couldn't
tell from where i was at if it was a uh a tree or what don't i just sound like
the awful reporter
on site no i don't know if that's a tree if it's an apartment or a person but
whatever it is it is
definitely on fire back to you chet thank you wilhelmina she's a new addition
transgender
transgender ginger from massachusetts wilhelmina burr wilhelmina we just want
to say how much we
support what you are doing um anyways uh so i gotta what did i get into with
somebody i think i had some
good shows this week there was no fucking problems you know what i said to that
couple last week that
got offended when i got mad and i used that word that i should have said well
what if i said this
word which was a different bad word for another group of people you know it's
funny you wouldn't
have got offended and you'd be standing here slap me on my back saying what a
funny edgy show it was
oh billy you're still not over it no i'm not i'm not so anyways i'm gonna do a
little bit of grilling
this weekend and uh i got some family over here so you know the pressure right
you take out your grill
you gotta make sure you fucking you're doing it right not like verzi who'll
just let anybody jump
on his fucking grill maybe that's the genius of verzi i don't know but i'm
going simple this year i was
gonna do the whole fucking pork shoulder and all that and i just been so
fucking busy i'm like you know
what at the end of the day how drunk people are gonna be do they really need
anything more
than fucking burgers and hot dogs i remember one year for the rose bowl jay law
had smoked a pork
shoulder which evidently was delicious but by the time he took it out i was so
shit-faced i had
already started my cigar like the meal had already happened so then he gave it
to me and i was sitting
in a fucking lawn chair with a beer in one hand a cigar in the other and i was
trying to figure out
how to set down one or the other so i could pick at it it was an absolute shit
show so
i don't know why go through that effort i don't know what the fuck i'm talking
about so anyways
um happy fourth of july to everybody and i hope you have even if you're around
the world and it doesn't
mean shit to you you know what i mean like i had never heard of cinco de mayo
until i came out here to
la and i actually asked the classic white guy question what day is cinco de
mayo for those of
you who are like me that basically means in uh spanish it means fifth of may it's
like the fourth
of july it's like what day is the fourth of july that's what that's what i was
i was that person
well actually no because i didn't say the whole thing in spanish so i'll be a
fourth of july
right bill we get it we get it um all right so that's it already saying happy
birthday to america
hey canada when's when's your uh i should have done it on cinco de mayo
right happy birthday to mexico happy birthday to mexico bueno birthday dear mexico
i don't know anymore yo tengo pero
well yo tango pero greece blanco i don't fucking know i don't i don't fucking
know what do you want
from me uh i swear to god i had one beer one beer and i'm not drunk but i can't
think all right there
you go there's your podcast just checking in on you and we got uh we got some
greatest hits coming up
here uh people please have a happy and safe holiday all right booze and
fireworks don't work but booze and
your friends with fireworks definitely works so find a safe place for your
drunk ass to watch them blow
their fingers off or light their backyard on fire all right if you have drunk
friends over do not have
fireworks if you're going to your friend's house and they are drunk and they
have fireworks let them do
what they want it's their house just make sure you have enough juice in your
phone to be able to
videotape what's happened what happens and please send it to me here at the uh
the mm podcast and um and
that is it all right go fuck no no god bless you all right you cunts i'll talk
to you