Name: Bill Burr And Brian Regan Talk About Starting Stand-Up
Uploaded: 2015-09-15T14:34:58.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr And Brian Regan Talk About Starting Stand-Up' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-09-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr And Brian Regan Talk About Starting Stand-Up' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-09-15. Transcript available.

I wanted to be a comedian. I didn't dare say it out loud, but I didn't think it
was possible.
Because when I was thinking about doing it, which is like the late 80s, started
in the early 90s,
but the late 80s, I first started thinking about it.
But there wasn't any YouTube, there was none of that crap.
So to me, I was living in Massachusetts, show business was 3,000 miles away.
Like it just seemed impossible.
And then I was working in a warehouse with this guy and he was just going like,
dude, one of these nights, and he like stand up like what I did, he goes,
one of these nights I'm going to take a shot at Jack Daniels and I'm just going
to go down to an open mic down the street
and just go up on stage.
And all of a sudden I was just like, oh, you can just do that?
I thought I had to like, you know, get my teeth capped and moved out to L.A.
and get a fake tan.
Like I had no idea how to, so I always have like a panic attack when I think
about that.
I go, thank God I worked with that guy.
And thank God that he said that.
And he took it out of seeming like, you know, it was like the Milky Way away.
He like made it like, yeah, yeah, just go right down the street.
Did that guy ever do it?
You know, I don't know because we worked together for such a short period of
time.
I have no idea.
That's the only reason why I don't like telling that story because then people
are like,
did that guy end up doing it?
Oh, whatever happened to him?
He's probably like some zillionaire banker.
You know, I'm sure, you know, sent by a pool loving his wife and kids and his
dog.
Just totally happy, but it's just amazing.
He didn't do what you did in life, so he must not be happy.
When I first decided I wanted to be a stand-up, the only comedy clubs were in
Los Angeles and New York.
I was in college in Tiffin, Ohio, and I knew I wanted to do stand-up.
What year was this?
1980.
This is going way back, man.
Right.
And so I knew I wanted to do it, but comedy had not yet, you know, exploded.
It was only in those two cities.
So I was gearing up to having to move to New York City.
I'm like, I didn't know what was going on.
So what I thought I had to do in 92, you actually had to do in 80.
That's what, yes.
And then I went back down to South Florida, which is where I grew up, and I
opened up the Miami Herald.
And there's an ad in the Miami Herald for grand opening for the Comic Strip
Comedy Club in Fort Lauderdale.
It says, Sister Club of the famous comedy club in New York City, open mic night,
Monday night.
And I'm like, damn, like it could not have been more beautifully perfect.
Like, I don't have to move.
I don't have to move to New York City.
I can just fill up the car with gas and go up to Fort Lauderdale and try it.
And so it became so much more attainable when I saw that ad, you know, and that's
where I started.
That's amazing.
I had a very similar thing.
I made a New Year's resolution in 1992 that at some point in the calendar year
of 1992, I was going to do an open mic.
That's how, like, shut down and shy I was.
I was so nervous about it.
And the second I said that, within two weeks in the school paper, the Emersonian,
I went to Emerson College.
It said, Nick's Comedy Stop had a contest.
It was an ad.
Find Boston's Funniest College Student.
Wow.
And the whole thing was just to pack the club with a bunch of drunk kids,
buying drinks, watching their friends bomb.
So I immediately, I bought the paper.
It might have even been free, I think.
I can't even remember.
It was a school paper.
I think it was free.
And then I brought it home and I just immediately called the phone number
before I chickened out.
And I was just like, I'm in a school park.
I want to do an open mic.
And I remember so many kids from Emerson signed up that they actually gave us
two nights.
So I was supposed to go on at the end of the last Monday in February.
And then they called up.
They said they had overflow.
Would you want to do the first Monday in March?
And I was like, okay, like, just to put it off.
And then I hung up and I felt like I pussied out.
But very, like, similar thing.
So, yeah, I mean, it's weird how things will leap out at you.
I mean, that, you know, of all the ads in the world, you know, for fast food
places and hotels and that ad for that comedy club, like, jumped off the page
to me.
It was like, holy shit, man.
It was just perfect.
And then I went there.
So it's 1980.
So you went down there.
So tell me about your first when you went on stage.
Well, actually, they want they wanted you to get there early to draw numbers.
So I had to make the hour drive.
I was still living with my parents in Miami.
I make the hour drive up there and I get there.
I don't know, six and five.
Did they know you were going to try it?
I don't know if I may have told my parents, but I didn't tell anybody.
Me too.
I didn't tell anybody.
I don't tell nobody nothing.
You know what I mean?
That was like a mob hit.
Yeah.
It's like, I want to go up there.
And if I bomb, nobody's going to know about this till the day I die.
Brian, you seem so quiet.
What's wrong?
Well, no, I just did nothing.
You know?
What are you doing?
See, I'm just getting a little dressed up and leaving the house.
So I go up there and there were like 20 comedians that had to draw numbers.
You had to draw numbers for your time slot.
I don't know what any of this meant.
And I drew, I guess, a good number.
You know, I had like a sweet spot right in the middle.
And then right after the drawing, all these other open micers who had done it
before, I guess it had been open like a month, you know, came up and said, I'll
trade you.
I'll trade you.
I'll trade you my number for your number.
And all I knew is whatever I was holding was valuable and I wasn't trading it
for nothing.
Oh, nice.
You know, I'm like, they want this.
So I'm keeping it.
So I went on.
And what they had three co-headliners.
It was very weird.
And then they stuck the open micers up in the middle.
I went on right in the middle of the show.
And I just completely blanked out on stage.
Just complete wipe out, blank, could not remember anything.
When did you realize that?
Walking towards the stage or when you got up and turned and faced them?
What happened was I had every word memorized.
I had, hi, how are you?
Written down.
Which hand you were going to wave with?
Everything.
I had, hi, how are you?
Written down and memorized.
I walk on stage and that's the first time I realized how bright these lights
are.
I'm like wigging out that I can't see a soul.
And then I started to say, hi, how are you?
In the microphone.
And there was feedback.
I was too close.
I went, hi, how are you?
Oh, no.
So I did my first ad lib.
I said, well, I've already learned one thing.
I don't know how to work a microphone.
And it got a laugh.
Oh, nice.
And then my brain just shut off.
Oh, because you didn't, you know what?
Because I had memorized, hi, how are you?
To the next thing.
And when I ad libbed, I didn't know where I was supposed to go after that.
And so they laughed at my ad lib, you know, well, I don't know how to work a
microphone.
And I'm standing there going, I don't know.
I could, I blanked out, blank, blankety blank.
How long before you?
I stood there for about 10 seconds.
Which seemed like nine years.
It was like an eternity.
And I said, well, you're not going to believe this, folks.
But I forgot my act.
And they laughed.
And I said, no, no, no, I'm serious.
And they laughed.
It was like a Twilight Zone thing.
Yeah, but you're learning honesty works.
And I started ad-libbing about how stupid I was for not being able to remember
my act.
I went, this is great.
I spent all this time and effort trying to figure out something.
And I can't remember nothing, you know, just off the top of my head.
And I started killing.
And I started killing, rolling about how stupid I was.
Were you able to enjoy killing?
Are you so panicking?
I enjoyed it.
I knew enough to go, well, all I want is laughs.
You know what I mean?
And I'm just winging it, you know, talking about what an idiot I am and how
this drive I made and all this stuff memorized.
And I can't remember a single thing.
And I crushed, you know, at least in my mind.
Yeah, for an open mic, dude, that's crushing.
And then I said, well, I can't see myself ever remembering any of it.
So good night.
And then I got this big hand.
That's fucking great.
I walked off stage.
And then, like, the headliners, one of them came up to me and said, that was a
great routine about how you pretended to blank out.
I said, I didn't pretend.
They said, you really were winging that?
And I was like, yeah.
But I was, like, in a fog.
And what did he say?
You should definitely come back.
Was he a supportive guy?
Yeah, I forget who it was, but he was supportive.
He said it was really funny.
And, you know, so what was great for me is that my next time I went, I
remembered my act and just ate it.
That's hilarious.
But I had the memory of knowing how to make people laugh from the first time
that just kept fueling me to just keep going back and trying.
What do you think would have happened if you just did your act and that first
thing didn't happen and you completely ate it?
Did you have it?
Do you think you had any to keep coming back?
I don't know.
You know, I've talked to other comedians about this and I, what's weird to me
is that most comedians I talk to say that their very first time on stage they
did well, you know, and then didn't do well the second time or third time.
And I wonder how many potentially good comedians out there, it didn't go well
and just said hell with it.
Now they're working at a Home Depot just crushing it every day.
He's the funniest guy I've ever met in my life.
And they just, you know, and I truly wonder how many people just had the bad
experience and go, I need this like I need a hole in the head, you know?
I know because the first time, my first two were, I did Nick's, the talent
thing, it went okay.
And then I did Stitches, comedy club, and did okay.
And those are both comedy clubs.
But the first time I did a room that wasn't a comedy club, I've told this story
a zillion times on the podcast,
but it was Jack Lynch had this room, Kelly's something or other, and it was
some bar.
And I went up and I absolutely just ate it, wire to wire.
I said on the microphone, Jack, I'm bailing.
I said that to the host.
And all the comedians went, ah, like they collectively were like disappointing
to me that I quit and I hated myself.
And I remember, but I would say it never dawned on me to quit.
Maybe it was because I did well those first two times, but I just never, I was
just like, all right, well, what can I do to avoid that?
Right.
That awful feeling again.