Name: Bill Burr - Advice: She Said Rape
Uploaded: 2015-09-22T15:41:54.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Advice: She Said Rape' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-09-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Advice: She Said Rape' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-09-22. Transcript available.

Oh, hey, by the way, if you want to send in a question here to the podcast, the
way you send it is to bill at the MMPodcast.com.
And that's all lowercase except for the M's in MMPodcast.
Bill at the MMPodcast.
All right.
Here comes a creepy one.
She said rape.
I had a videotape.
All right.
Talk about going from just some bullshit to about as heavy a topic as you could
have.
All right.
Hey, Bill, I got a little question.
Doesn't sound like a little question, dude.
She said rape.
I have videotape.
All right.
This all sounds crazy.
All right.
Last year, I had sex with a girl.
Two days later, I was arrested, charged with rape.
Luckily, I filmed it.
I filmed it all as me and a friend had a threesome with her.
So it's all good now.
Wait a minute.
All right.
So if I'm to believe you, you and your friend had a threesome with this woman,
you filmed it.
Did she know you were filming it?
Maybe because you filmed it.
She then got afraid that you're going to show it to people.
So then she did that.
I have no fucking idea.
There's too many or maybe you filmed it and she didn't know, which would make
you a piece
of shit, but then smart because she said it was rape and it wasn't.
That's if I believe you.
There's a lot of variables here.
Luckily, I filmed it at all as me and a friend had a threesome with her.
So it's all good.
Now, do you see, I have to still doubt this guy because of this thing.
He had a videotape.
The cops watched it and he got off.
I still have to act like she still had a case because it's rape.
You know what I mean?
I have to act like no guy ever gets accused of rape when he didn't rape.
You know what I mean?
I have to be like, you know what I mean?
I got to be like those white people at the award shows.
I have to stand up and applaud.
But the whole thing stresses stressed me out so bad that I had to quit my job.
Yeah, I would think so.
And I've gone to therapy ever since.
Now I always wear a hidden recording device when I'm on a date with a girl.
I got paid a thousand dollars because all of that happened or a thousand
dollars in damages.
The girl, on the other hand, didn't suffer a bit.
She was apparently unstable and had reported eight other cases of rape the same
year.
I was number nine.
Still, the police showed up with six men, two cars, and made my room look like
a scene from CSI.
Well, they're just doing their job, dude.
And as she was unstable, she didn't have to pay me or anything or anyone.
I got paid by the government.
I was risking years behind bars.
Yeah, and God knows what they would have done to you in there.
I read something in the local paper by another one of her victims that was also
proven innocent,
was being hated on by my country's biggest feminist groups.
Rape is serious, but this has to stop.
What are your thoughts on this, Bill?
Thank you for your answer.
And consensually, fuck you.
Yeah, I mean, I think that's your situation.
You're going to get caught up in after years of it going totally the other way,
where they blamed the victim and said,
well, what were you wearing?
You were asking for it.
What did you think was going to happen?
Now, you know, which obviously needed to stop, that now, socially, it's gone
from where they blamed the victim to,
I mean, back in the day, they'd be like, well, you were drinking.
What did you think was going to happen?
They've gone all the way to the other side now, where it's just like, if she
said she was raped, she was raped.
So, which isn't a bad, what makes it a bad fucking thing is the fact that they
put the accused name in the picture and everything in the fucking paper before
anything has been proven.
I am an advocate of, you protect both people until something has been proven,
either innocence or guilt.
All right, and if it's innocent, you let that person get back on with their
life, because you cannot shake that.
It's over.
The second you're accused of that shit, it's fucking over.
You know, it's over.
You are branded that for the rest of your fucking life.
And when you have somebody out there, if they're fucking unstable, and they're
doing this for whatever fucking reason,
I mean, God knows what horrible thing happened to this person, that they're
doing this.
Or maybe they were born unstable, I have no fucking idea.
But, you know, the fact that, you know, you get a thousand bucks, you're in
therapy, you got to quit your fucking job and all that.
But, I mean, look, who's kidding who, dude?
All right?
You had a fucking threesome.
All right?
You're videotaping the fucking thing.
I mean, I don't know that you're...
I can't say you don't wear a fucking recording device.
I totally understand why you would.
I totally get that.
But I would just say, why don't you, you know, try to date somebody a little
more stable?
I mean, you're going on dates versus, you know, hooking up with some crazy
person who's having a threesome and letting you film the fucking thing.
I mean, right there, dude.
If you fucking, like, if you hook up with somebody, you don't fucking know them
from Adam, and they're going to have a fucking threesome, and they're going to
let you film the fucking thing?
I mean, right there.
I mean, the amount of red flags that should be flying in your face.
You shouldn't even be seeing the person anymore.
Here I am blaming you again.
You're probably a young guy.
You never had this.
So you learned your fucking lesson here.
I don't know, dude.
If secretly wearing a recording device, you know, makes you feel more
comfortable, then I don't have a problem with this.
I mean, dude, I don't know if you ever heard, like, what happens to rapists in
jail.
You know, they're, like, hunted down.
And fucking gang raped and all of that type of shit.
It's fucking horrific.
What could have happened to you just because she said that that happened?
And those feminist groups that are doing that shit, I mean, they're basically
exposing themselves for what they truly are.
Is they're sexist.
They're totally fucking sexist.
Any woman says a guy does anything, they just totally have their fucking back.
They don't give a shit.
I mean, if this person, even in that year, said that, you know, someone raped
and didn't, raped her and didn't.
I mean, right there.
They did a little bit of fucking where they just immediately back him.
Let me guess.
Did they apologize to you at all?
You know, I'm sure they didn't.
Did they, as big as a fucking surge that they did online or wherever they were
coming at you, when they apologized, which should have been even bigger, did
they?
I'm sure they didn't.
You know?
Because they're sexist cunts.
They are.
They don't give a shit.
They sit there and they pat themselves on the back like they're these socially
advanced fucking people and they aren't.
They're the exact fucking thing that they're fighting.
The exact moron, sexist guy that thinks a woman should just be there to suck
his dick and make him a sandwich.
They are the female version of that.
They are the female fucking version of that, generally fucking speaking.
And I can speak in generalities considering how they treated you.