Name: Bill Burr - A Lady Confronts Bill After A Show
Uploaded: 2015-11-24T15:23:20.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - A Lady Confronts Bill After A Show' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-11-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - A Lady Confronts Bill After A Show' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-11-24. Transcript available.

Guess what?
I went down to the Comedy Store yesterday for my first set since my last show
in New
York.
I went down there, I had the best fucking time.
I tried out all this new material and I actually walked into the Comedy Store
and you know
they have the original room and then they have the main room.
The original room is part of the original club when they just bought half of it.
It used to be a nightclub called Syros and where the original room sits I think
was the
back of the main room.
So anyways, whatever.
Come out to LA.
Just walk in.
Take a look at it.
So I go, "What's going on in the main room?"
And they go, "Dick Gregory."
I go, "What?"
I go, "Dick Gregory is on stage right now?"
And they were like, "Yeah."
And I went in there and the guy was fucking hilarious.
Still funny as hell.
Still edgy.
Talking about topical stuff.
He was talking about Paris.
He was talking about all this just right up to date stuff.
He was fucking amazing.
So that gave me a charge.
So then I go into the original room.
They bring me up.
I start doing my thing.
Everything is going great.
You know.
I did my little wage gap, gift, joke.
And then I get off stage.
Thanks a lot.
And all of a sudden this lady, she comes up to me and then she just wants to
present her case.
She's like, "You know, well actually I'm in my mid-30s.
And now I'm in an age now that when I go out with a guy, he wants to go Dutch.
He expects me to pay for half.
And then I just go, "Well yeah, you should."
You know.
You should.
You know.
You should.
I don't think this is asking too much.
You're in your 30s.
You've demonstrated that you're not a first round draft pick at this point.
You know, you're fucked up like me.
So, I know I'm fucked up, I know you're fucked up, or maybe too driven to
commit to anything,
so you know, we gotta keep each other at arm's length here, right?
So I pay for my shit, you pay for your shit.
I couldn't be like, I couldn't even listen to like, "That's your big fucking
complaint
in life?
That for the first 30 years, you got free fucking food and drinks?"
Like as a guy, do you know how far back into my life I got to, they get to live
like
eight year olds.
Remember when you were a kid, you just walked around?
Because as a kid, you had no money, you went out with your parents, you had a
whole fucking
day, you ate, you had drinks, you fucking, no not booze, but you know, got
yourself a
high C, whatever the hell you had, you know, went to a ball game, whatever, you
never went
in your pockets.
The life of a kid.
You know?
You essentially, and they're not like, look, I obviously know that women don't
just not
pay for fucking anything, but I'm just saying that when they get courted, you
know,
you don't have to pay for shit, generally speaking, right?
So anyway, so she comes up to me, I just didn't want to fucking hear it, and I
made the mistake,
I treated her like a guy and I feel bad.
I just completely, I just gave her shit, and then she was like, ah, you're
being mean and
everything, I'm like, it's a comedy club, we're comedians, this is what we do,
and then she
wanted to make her fucking point, and I just, you know, I said, I just walked
away, and then
of course, I made the mistake of asking another comic, I go, was I just too
mean there, and
he's like, yeah, no, no, comedian will never say you're too mean, no, no, I
said, you know, seemed about right, felt like the, uh, the right level of it,
um, that's a pet peeve of mine, I don't like when I'm standing on stage, and
you could heckle me, while I'm making my point, instead you don't, you wait
till I get off stage, and then you want to have some fucking, you know, Charlie
Rose conversation about what the fuck you think of the job, I don't give a shit
at that point.
I, you know, I would much rather that you yell out during my show, like, hey, I'm
in my thirties, I gotta pay for a date, though, we could have that hilarious
conversation, a little back and forth, but instead, you know, I gotta get off
stage, and then you come up to me like I'm being debriefed after my shift, you
know what I mean, see where I went right, see where I went wrong, like, I don't
wanna fucking hear that, but you're more than welcome to heckle me, I don't
give a shit, I don't care about that, you know,
I'm up there, it's me in the mic stand, you know, I feel safe, ah, who's
kidding, I was probably too much of an asshole, what do you want from me,