Name: Bill Burr - Advice: My Girl Quit Her Job
Uploaded: 2015-12-15T02:24:36.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Advice: My Girl Quit Her Job' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-12-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Advice: My Girl Quit Her Job' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-12-15. Transcript available.

girl quit job lady this lady quit her job and traveled the world um all right
here we go my
girl quit wait my girl comes home why did he feel like there was something else
in here did i miss
one of these things maybe not all right my girl comes home early the other day
and tells me she
quit her job i work full-time in a metal shop jesus christ what are you a blacksmith
and i go to school
full-time for engineering uh we also have two beautiful kids we cannot afford
our houses
our house cars etc without her working and she acts like i'm a bad guy when i
say
when i get on her about it oh jesus i don't know what i should do i'm thinking
of leaving her because
this is not the first time she's done this and in the total seven years we've
been together
she's worked about two and a half two and a half years of around 10 jobs
wait she has worked about two and a half years of around 10 jobs you mean and
i'm guessing you're saying she's had 10 jobs and collectively worked two and a
half years
can't take the financial stress anymore what's your advice
um first thing i would do i'd downsize your life
just be like all right well look if you're not going to work then we got we got
to do something
here um that's incredibly selfish and um look she obviously doesn't want to
work she wants to be at
home she wants to be with the kids so you need to make enough money to
basically you know treat her like a third kid
um so your lifestyle is going to have to go down then if that's what she i
would just sit down and be like can i ask you a question
do you want to just stay home and be with the kids
you know and let her fucking flip out and scream and yell and all that and just
don't lose your cool just say to her is that what you want
okay because i need to know that
okay so i don't keep thinking that that we're going to be dual income and
making financial
decisions that way i can already tell you right now dude that
the fact that you're working full-time and she's working full-time
and if the second she fucking quits
you're fucked
you guys are living beyond your lifestyle beyond your means you shouldn't be
living like that so
you're basically the two of you guys are spending all the money that you're
making
that's that's no way to live
all right you need to be
you need you need to downsize your life is basically it i would drive uh
you know use toyota or a honda those fucking things never die
i'd get one of those i downsize and then you know
i mean i don't think you just quit on a relationship and walk out on two kids
but the stress has to be fucking brutal and if she's being a fucking baby about
it um
you know that's uh you know this is one of these fucking things that you know
be a nice change on one of those chick shows you know a four broads sit around
fucking talking about
women's stuff they never talk about this type of shit because this this would
probably be considered
sexist if you brought it up that's a hell of a fucking thing for her to be
doing to you
um i would just you just got to lay it on the line just sit her down and just
said listen is this what
you want to do um i need to know that because i'm not going through this again
all right and i would just say you've had 10 jobs
in the last seven years and you've worked collectively collectively about two
and a half
of those seven years okay when you quit a job like that just quit a job and
have no other job
it puts unbelievable stress on me and it's not fair to me
okay so i need to know do you not want to work do you just want to stay home
with the kids because
if you do we're going to have to downsize our lives dramatically if you want to
keep living like this
you need to get a job all right and if she flips out about that type of thing
um i mean that's a tough one i i guess i would be like
when she flipped out be like all right you know something scream and yell and
get it out of your
system but you have 48 hours to sit down with me and discuss this like an adult
and cut a plan
okay or i need to make a decision because i'm not gonna i'm not gonna live my
life with this level
of financial stress um something along those lines because i'll tell you what
she's doing to you
is unbelievably immature and fucking selfish when you need dual income and you
got two kids at home
you just don't quit a fucking job all right
jesus fucking christ what if you did that
you know what i mean i'm telling you this right here when that fucking guy was
sitting there talking
that guy saying like oh you should fucking leave your job and go travel around
the fucking planet
this is why you don't do that what you're doing sir busting your ass trying to
get ahead
that's what you do when you're fucking young okay it makes your life a hell of
a lot fucking easier
as you get older okay because the older you fucking get you got to be somewhere
you know what i mean
like all they want to hire young people generally fucking speaking you have to
be at a certain place
by a certain fucking age generally speaking or they're not going to give you a
shot
okay it's like that old fucking thing about the fucking what was it what was it
those two animals
one of them was storing away food the other one was running around like a
fucking jerk off and then
the storm finally hits and the ants fucking eating and then the turtles uh beat
the hair however the
fucking story goes um
i gotta tell you this you know i sacrificed a lot to get where i'm at and i
missed out on a lot of shit
but the shit that i on the back end that i ended up getting to do okay you know
there was a whole bunch
of stuff that i missed socially just fun stuff so-called regular shit that i
missed because and i slept
on a futon like i've told you a zillion times till i was about 36 37 years old
all right but
the outside of that was i got to perform at madison square garden
i got to fucking play drums with slash and duff and guns and roses you know
what i mean
that's fucking insane
but you got to be willing to stay on the fucking futon till you're pushing 40
and laying there in the loneliness of that with the fucking voices creeping in
your head of doubt
and you have to beat those things down as they're telling you did i did i make
a horrible fucking mistake
um
so what you're doing sir you're working full-time
and you're going to school
full-time for engineering
okay
if your fucking
wife
no offense
could just fucking ride it out
for a couple of fucking years
all right
until you get your engineering degree
you get on your fucking feet
this is what old school couples used to do
okay
they worked more as a fucking team
because generally speaking
divorce was looked down upon
and they always try to make it look like
and there was all these women getting beaten
and they just stayed in there
like every fucking woman was getting the shit slapped out of her
all right
i'm not saying there wasn't women getting fucking
you know the shit kicked out of them
all right
but there's a lot of fucking people
to just throw in the fucking towel
because it's hard
and then you're going to get with somebody else
and what it's going to be fucking easy
it is hard
but this is like some shit
you need to iron this out
and she needs to get her fucking head screwed on straight
and realize that she's got to fucking support you
by keeping up her end of the bullshit
while you become an engineer
and then you move up the fucking ladder
and at some point
she's going to get what i think she wants
which is what she's going to get to stay home alone
um
nia can you come over
and just help me finish off this podcast
i know you don't want to
your shoulders literally just slumped
i'll read this really quickly
i know you're tired
nia we're all tired
are you going to sit there
like i'm going to scold you
like a little kid
no
i'm just tired
what is
i know it's 1 15 in the morning
all right this guy
his girl
comes home
it's not even your wife
no but you got two kids
the girl comes home early the other day
and she tells me she quit her job
i work full time in a metal shop
and i'm going to engineering school
i'm going to school full time for engineering
we also have two beautiful kids
we cannot afford our houses
and our cars etc without her working
and she acts like i'm a bad guy
when i say
when i get on her about it
i don't know why i should do
i'm thinking of leaving her
because this is not the first time
she's done this
in the total of seven years
we've been together
she's worked about two and a half
of those years
and had about ten different jobs
i can't take the financial stress anymore
what's your advice
nia renee hill
yeah i mean i think you should definitely
talk to her about it
and if you feel like
she's not pulling her weight
in your situation then
that's a problem
so
yeah it's stressful
if he's carrying the burden
they have like two kids
and whatever
i mean is she just lying around the house all day
i mean is she at least
you know taking care of the kids
and make sure they have lunches
and all that stuff
or is it just all falling on him
you know
that's really
yeah well they need the money
all right
so i'm all right
so i'm working
okay so
yeah they both
if that's what their financial situation is
where they both need to be working
then they both need to be working
but i don't know how leaving her
is going to alleviate the financial strain
but
no he's got kids
he's fucked
and then she's gonna bleed him dry
because she'll be pissed
i think
yeah i don't know
but yeah
she needs to get it together
i'm sorry nia
all right
i'm not gonna be good
if you ask me to do it
and i'm not in the mood to do it
all right
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
jesus christ
all right
sorry
well i should have known better
when i asked her
she just literally came out of the bedroom
to grab something
and she's going back to going to sleep
i'm like
oh you want to answer a fucking podcast question
you see the instincts i have people
all right listen
f is for family comes out this friday
december 18th
for the love of god
please sit down and binge watch it
i know all you star wars fans
want to go see that fucking movie
when you're done seeing that movie
can you please watch my show
i really appreciate it
um
all right
that's the podcast for monday
go fuck yourselves
don't take any shit
and i'll talk
i'll check it out
on thursday