Name: Bill Burr - Douchey Commercial and Seattle Lumberjacks
Uploaded: 2015-12-28T12:12:54.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Douchey Commercial and Seattle Lumberjacks' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-12-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Douchey Commercial and Seattle Lumberjacks' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2015-12-28. Transcript available.

hey what's going on it's bill burr and it's time for the monday morning podcast
from monday
december 28th 2015 the final monday monday of 2015 all right what are you gonna
do with it huh
you're gonna take advantage of it you're gonna get out there and fucking huh i
just saw this
really douchey commercial i'm recording this sunday while i'm watching the end
of the seattle
game and watching the packers get their asses kicked by cardinals um i just saw
this commercial
right there's this lady she's in her car right cutie's a button driving along
and she's in this
city and she's like there's over two million four hundred sixty thousand three
hundred seventeen
people in this city and only one me and then she goes i like those odds and
then this chick starts
singing this is my fucking fight whatever the fuck it's
this is stupid i've never seen hype over absolutely nothing like what do you
mean you like those odds
is there a way to improve those odds are you gonna drive up on the sidewalk and
try to lower the
fucking numbers yeah i like those yeah i don't feel like fucking taking out
anybody today i guess i can
live with that uh is this like the result of like sports like athletes and
rappers and stuff
shit talking it's become such a part of the culture that you got to say
something dumb like that like
back in the day you'd move to the city and you'd be like oh jesus christ look
at all these people
well you know i put my you know i put my head down and i uh i just give it the
old college try and
hopefully uh things work out for me and i could get my own little piece of the
pie here right now
now it's all gonna be yeah it's three million people here and just me yeah yeah
suck my dick i can handle
that you're driving those street in your ford focus now are you talking about
what do you got in the
trunk of your car that gives you that much confidence huh what do you got you
got some gold bars huh
um anyways i'm watching the end of the seattle game here because i feel like
the seahawks are
going to come back you know old sneaky pete everybody's talking about this guy
they're talking
about that guy slowly but surely seattle is clawing their way back into it um
hopefully they'll be on
the road so we don't have to listen to how loud they are again look here in seattle
it's such a loud
stadium look how loud they are you're just worried about seattle you don't see
one lumberjack in the
crowd you know with all the logging that goes on up there it's a bunch of
coffee drinking cunts
wearing a little kirk with the kurt cobain goatee um you'd think every once in
a while you'd find
somebody actually wearing a flannel because they're a lumberjack not because
they're into pearl jam
that's all i'm saying was eddie did eddie veta did he used to cut down trees
how about kurt cobain did
they used to do that stuff is that what they did is that why they dressed like
that or were they mocking
were they dressing like lumberjacks in an ironic way um and a foreshadowing of
the hipster movement
that took hold somewhere in the mid-2000s or maybe they were just cold you know
it's always raining out
there and they have to sing maybe they wanted to protect their instrument i don't
know um
i saw i got jogging down the street today in jeans and like these sneakers that
were mocking running
sneakers and then he had a t-shirt on in this weird sort of tank top and the
exact same haircut of people
i used to see have in like 1975. you know it was just like you're trying really
hard
i don't i don't know i don't i don't understand it i don't understand just your
whole wardrobe and
your look is mocking another decade is that what it is i don't i don't know i
don't
i don't pretend to know anyways let's talk a little sports here as much as
people can't stand a lot of
people can't stand i don't give a you know i don't give a i don't have any
advertising this week okay that's
what it's come down to you know me being a smart aleck and all of these ads
right and then you guys
egging me on oh yeah i'm blaming you you guys egging me on you know i i can't
walk away from a
fucking easy laugh um now look at me i'm ending the year empty-handed 60
minutes of podcasting and no
advertising and only just one me i like those odds what a fucking douche oh
good lord
i'd rather eat glass than have to watch that whole yolo you know how we do
ugh everything is so important me and my bras um oh don't i just sound like an
angry old man
i'm not actually i'm actually got my feet up i'm drinking a miller i'm having a
good time
there's a snow globe within reach i mean i don't have a lot to complain about
um you know we're all extinct i think that's going to be the big thing that
aliens will look at one day
you know but they'll find they'll unearth these snow globes and they'll try to
figure out what the
they meant you know they probably think it was some sort of power source they
hovered their hands over it