Name: Bill Burr - One Trick Pony / TAMMP Got Me Laid
Uploaded: 2016-01-05T06:24:18.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - One Trick Pony / TAMMP Got Me Laid' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-01-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - One Trick Pony / TAMMP Got Me Laid' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-01-05. Transcript available.

um all right one trick pony uh hey billy balls uh my wife loved your pie crust
video oh by the
way you know i tried lad in my um for my crust for the first time and it was a
total game changer
the best crust i ever made it did feel weird to smell bacon as i was making the
pie crust
but um um uh thank you to everybody that suggested that who you know your
critique really
helped my pie crust thank you um all right so anyways he this person says she's
a fan of yours
as well she loved the pie crust video she's a fan of you as well and has been
exposed to hours of
your podcast she likes you bill let me lead with that well here comes the big
fucking slap in the
face but of course like all great women she still has a capacity to chop a man
down at the knees
after the video i casually said can't wait for the next one she responded in an
oh sweetie tone with
haha well how many of these tricks do you think he has up his sleeve this
resulted in a long discussion
where i defended your potential skills and she went with the i love bill burr i'm
just assuming
he doesn't have much more to rival this pie crust uh whether you can make a
full series out of these
videos or not can you please explain to my wife that you're not a one-trick
pony and even if you are a
one-trick pony it's bullshit and unfair to assume this much uh thanks come back
to wisconsin home of
corruption as seen in documentaries um well you know something as you get older
as a man you understand
where that's coming from why your wife as you said like all great women always
have to take you out of
the knees what it is as much as you got to stop internalizing that and taking
it personally what it
is is is that's it's almost like a subconscious fear thing that they have you
know what i mean like
when they don't know you and they see you doing something they have a positive
reaction to it going
oh look he can make a pie crust i bet he's gonna be a great dad right they
think like that
but after they get with you and then they love you and they don't want to lose
you
when they see you continuing to grow as a person they it's i can't even say
this is a female thing
this is like a a thing in general that people do in relationships is you
actually hold back the
person you love because you see them expanding on who they are and because it's
something new and
different and moves in a different direction i think subconsciously a certain
type of person feels
insecure so then they they have to tether it to the ground with uh criticism
rather than
encouraging the person so i think that that's where it's coming from but um as
far as addressing it
like i will just say this as far as my cooking and baking like you don't just
know how to make
cornflakes and you can also make a pie crust you know what i mean knowing how
to make a pie crust takes
all of your to the next level okay like no like know this because i can do that
like back in the
day i used to look at like making like a quiche or something like that going oh
my god that's
impossible the crust alone or making a turkey pot pie or anything that involves
having a crust
um you can add that i recently have learned how to smoke meat you know i smoked
ribs
uh i can make all of my my my mother before we when we all moved out she wrote
out all of her recipes
hand wrote them all out on cards and we have all of them and we can all cook
the meals that she
made when we were growing up like i can make you hungarian goulash and you know
what else i can make
the noodles from scratch i took a pasta making class you know as you suspected
sir your wife has no idea
what the she's talking about what it really was it was coming from a place of
insecurity and jealousy and
right now she's gonna roll her eyes and be like oh my god blah blah blah it's
true you know because
that's really just like a just like to have like that that oh sweetie tone you
know how they do that
shit you know you go out you start looking a little too good you get a new new
suit right you're looking
a little they gotta fucking they gotta gotta make a comment they they fucking
do it with each other it's
hilarious i think that's one of the main reasons that's them up by the way you
know when they always
talk about the wage gap and all that one of the biggest problems with the wage
gap is not men it's
the fact that women don't get together and create businesses enough they just
don't do it because
they're too busy going look at this and look at her she's too skinny she needs
to eat something
she's got on too much oh she knows what she's doing you know they don't work
well together
i don't know why but that's not our fault i'm sure it is though if you watch
the view i'm sure they
could spin it around to us so um yes sir i actually absolutely love cooking and
um it isn't the only
trick i have up my sleeve um i could obviously make more of those but the thing
about it was was that
was a specific skill it was for the holidays and people have suggested well why
don't you do one
on how to smoke meat or why don't you do one about making pasta from scratch my
thing is because you
could watch mario batali do it you can watch champion smokers do it so i guess
what makes mine different
is that i make it funny you know i just looked at it as a one random thing that
i was gonna do but you
know now that she's been a douche about it you know what i'll make another one
at some point i guess
um i'll let's see what the will i do the turkey pot pie on the big green egg i
mean i've
watched youtube videos of all of those i just didn't really saw somebody do
like a is there a pie crust
video i don't know i just thought it'd be fun i literally feel like i'm in a
relationship right
now i'm sorry that that video annoyed you oh god they're so moody uh yeah i
will i will figure
out something else um to make one of those i'll do like one a year no it's
actually give me some ideas
like maybe i'll do one oh the summer's coming all right you're going to show up
the fourth of july
is a quick thing you can make you know maybe i'll do it maybe i'll do it i just
don't like committing
to like that i love not having a job which is why i'm a comedian i really
enjoyed this whole
i work when i want to rather than be okay we need 20 episodes of this all right
thursday afternoon
podcast got me laid bill oh something positive oh john do you really think you
could get somebody else
laid it's a disease um it's probably why we die eight years earlier just
because they just won't
give it up but if you get yourself out in front of it next time your wife does
that to you sir next
time she takes you out at the knees just come up to her and stroke the side of
her face you know when
you go out and get a new car and you oh honey don't you think you're a little
bit old for that car
you know does one of those things makes you feel stupid right just walk up
stroke the side of her
face just oh sweetie don't worry i'm not gonna leave you it's okay it's okay i
know i look good in the
car i'm sorry something like that something creepy all right bill last week on
new year's eve my wife
and i listened to your podcast after we put the kids to bed we drank wine and
laughed our asses off
that's great this woke us up energized us just as the throwback clip came on it
appeared that we may
have sex to ring in the new year well boy oh boy not more than a few notes into
the outro song we
were going at it it was all over just moments after the song ended so maybe
four minutes or so
of ball dropping bliss my dick thanks you for the laughs and the soundtrack did
you guys
fuck to the me undie song i don't think i needed to know that