Name: Bill Burr - Patrice O'Neal Story: Women Leave Stuff Behind
Uploaded: 2016-01-12T07:24:04.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Patrice O'Neal Story: Women Leave Stuff Behind' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-01-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Patrice O'Neal Story: Women Leave Stuff Behind' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-01-12. Transcript available.

it's kind of like when you first start start dating a woman um you know when
she wants a
relationship when she comes over your apartment what she starts to do is she
leaves shit there
because it gives her an excuse to come back i mean it's fucking nuts right like
they're thinking
that far ahead oh you're sitting there's like oh look at those debts oh where
the fuck her right
that's all you're thinking and they're sitting there plotting you know what i
mean it's like
you're some fucking head coach that has no game plan and she's across the field
like fucking bill
walsh calling the first 25 plays of the game right oh i love a football life
there's a nice
reference to use um so you know what's fucking hilarious and speaking with the
patrice o'neill
benefits coming up once again uh i'll tell you a quick patrice story um he was
so fucking brilliant
that i remember he was dating this woman and you know or whatever seeing her
and she started leaving
shit around his house and i i just had brought that up i go yeah you know i
dated this woman you know
she left this shit here and she left that it's like what the fuck you know i
only see her like you
know once every two weeks she just has shit there so for two weeks i keep
looking at
her fucking brush or the shampoo she left or whatever and it just i keep
thinking about her and it's
annoying me and patrice just goes he goes so throw it out i go what he goes
throw it out i can't throw
out a brush he goes i would i go get the fuck out he goes yeah he goes i did
that he told me a story
well there was a woman he was messing around with and she left these toiletries
and a little bag of
like you know makeup and brush and all that and he he fucking threw it out and
then she came back
like a week and a half later and she goes to go in the bathroom and she's like
uh she's like hey what
did you do with my uh my stuff he goes and he just plays dumb he goes what
stuff she goes i left shampoo
here a little makeup bag he goes oh yeah that was yours yeah he goes yeah i
threw it out and she was
like literally beside herself but actually on some level respected him for like
fucking realizing what she
was doing and then also i think because that early on he clearly let her know
in a very funny fucking way
that he wasn't looking for a relationship and uh that she was able to relax and
kind of be thinking
oh we're just fucking all right i wanted a little more he doesn't at least but
he let her know so
fucking early on that it didn't really hurt you know does that make sense i
mean i don't maybe i'm
speaking for her but i guess i am but whatever either way it was fucking funny
oh jesus was that
the fucking worst i literally just jumped out of the plane and pulled a fucking
ripcord on that story
sorry it's been a while it's been a while since i told that story hasn't it why
have i told it before