Name: Bill Burr - Pot Cookie Story
Uploaded: 2016-02-01T23:14:26.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Pot Cookie Story' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-02-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Pot Cookie Story' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-02-01. Transcript available.

so i take my dog around the block and uh blah blah blah blah and i come back in
and he is like
hey you know what why don't you want to have a pot cookie and i was like no i
don't i got the
podcast to do i got some bills mail and shit i have to do she's like come on it's
fucking raining
we're not going anywhere this is a perfect day to have a pot cookie he's like i
don't like that
shit it gets me too fucked up i feel like i'm hallucinating i don't want to do
it she goes no
these are really mild these are really mild i know everybody out there who
fucking consumes those
things right now is laughing no they're really mild it's like all right fine so
i fucking eat this thing
right and it comes on really slow it's mellow and i'm like all right i can deal
with this just sort of
just be chilling out and be relaxed and then all of a sudden just fucking to
the moon alice
all right it's like fucking tripping
not like literally but it was just like you know i closed my eyes and my feet
would feel like they
were nine miles away from me you know and uh that was it i took it in the
afternoon like around
four o'clock by five o'clock that was it the day was over so now here i am i
got a bunch of shit to do
and i'm trying to cram this crap in there i really i don't like it um potheads
idea of what mild is
is not you know now i'm sure i'm gonna get a bunch of fucking
get a bunch of fucking emails from people going like this you want this sativa
fucking uh asian infused strain of weed man i just don't give a fuck right
i mean i was like just i was watching tv just dying laughing at everything that
fucking came on
there my wife made some cornbread with the chili and i started doing like a
cornbread commercial
you know hey guys what's better than than a bowl of chili that's right a nice
piece of cornbread
hi do you know me of sure we all do i was just doing that shit and i was the
funniest shit ever to
me and he was looking at me like what the fuck's wrong with you i'm like what
do you mean what's
wrong with me you fucking drugged me i swear to god you know what i think it
was i think the horror
of me being around for 24 hours with that weather she got like cabin fever and
she literally drugged
me because she was able to handle it fine which is making me think she took
less and she was just
sitting there watching tv and i'm saying all this shit that's making me laugh
and she's just sitting
there totally quiet i like i go am i bombing over here she was just like no no
no i hear what you're
saying i'm just watching the show and i'm like how are you that fucking
like i'm still a little fucked up right now 24 hours later
i don't know so anyways that's why i like alcohol it slowly comes on i know
where it's going
isn't like you grab a beer and you're so i wonder what this does
what's the end no this this is a mellow drunk and then all of a sudden you get
like fucking 20 times
drunker than you wanted to be i mean that can start that can happen i guess
with hard stuff
um i don't know i just feel like the amount of fucking edibles you have to have
to start to
understand what they do to you it's just not fucking worth it so uh that was my
one pot cookie for the
year i have dry mouth from that fucking cookie last night hey when they legalize
like pot at a federal
level do you think that they'll actually have girl scout like pot cookies you
know jesus christ that'll
be a field day. What is happening to this country? I mean, they're selling
drugs.